Round Seventeen: The Long Awaited Wrap

Some months back I had the opportunity to meet former Prime Minister Paul Keating. I asked him for a photo, noting that I had voted for him in 1996 (the one that saw his government thrown out of office and which ushered in eleven glorious years of Howardism). He was pleased by this, commenting "True believer, eh?" So, as the first Wrap in months goes to print (so to speak), allow me to dedicate it to the true believers of the Wrap who have long awaited its coming. This one's for you.

Round Seventeen itself can be summed up as the long awaited round. There has been no game more eagerly awaited in 2008 than Geelong versus Hawthorn, the champions versus the challengers. Due to the vagaries of the 2008 draw these two teams had not done battle prior to this encounter, and indeed hadn't met each other at all since early in the 2007 season. This game was billed as the likely Grand Final preview, and it certainly lived up to expectations. In front of a sell-out MCG crowd the two sides put on a belter, with fate and momentum shifting like the Sahara sands in a windstorm. Early on it looked like the Cats were going to dispense of the Hawks in the same brutal fashion that they had put down the Hawks fellow pretender the Bulldogs the previous week. But the Hawks fought back valiantly and hit the front in the third quarter. It was a ding dong final stanza. Unfortunately for the Hawks their champion midfielder Luke Hodge blew their final chance with a most uncharacteristic clanger, a kick straight to the opposition which allowed the Cats to sweep the ball away and seal a thrilling match. Hodge can probably be forgiven for his mind being elsewhere, his partner was massively pregnant and there were doubts that he would play in the match at all. Luckily it all worked out well for the Hodge family- Luke's first son arrived a little less than 24 hours after the game concluded, I think on balance Hodge Sr will judge it a pretty good weekend all round.

But who can stop the Cats in 2008? It seems more than likely now that they will go through the remainder of the season undefeated, thereby equally the record of the Almost Invincibles Bomber outfit of 2000 which also lost just one match for the season. Geelong's one defeat, to Collingwood by a massive 86 points some months back, was incredible at the time and seems completely inexplicable now. Certainly Cats fans, who for so long awaited September glory, are being thoroughly spoiled just at the moment by one of the best teams the game has ever seen.

Another big crowd showed up the next day for the rematch between Collingwood and Essendon. Prior to the match the Magpies were still in contention for a top four finish and accompanying double chance, despite their loss the previous week to North Melbourne. Essendon's faint finals hopes had seemingly disappeared with its heartbreakingly narrow loss the previous week to Richmond. All signs pointed to another comfortable Collingwood win. But instead it was the Bombers who came out to play, blitzing the Pies in the opening quarter, withstanding a fightback and then running away with it in glorious style in the latter stages. Long awaited revenge for the Anzac Day debacle for the red and black brigade. It may well be too late for the Dons in 2008 to be a finals contender, but after a couple of months of pain they have given supporters a lot of hope for 2009. While son of a gun Jobe Watson racked up a stunning 41 disposals, it was the garish orange footwear of teenage sensation Kyle Reimers which caught the eye. The kid can play. For Collingwood, it was a bitterly disappointing defeat. It looks as though again they're going to have to do the finals the hard way, presuming they qualify. It must gall their supporters that they can thrash the reigning champs by 86 points and win interstate, but then drop games to the likes of Essendon, Carlton and North (the latter two twice each). And a tough draw in the last couple of rounds isn't going to help (they actually have to play away from the MCG!)

West Coast fans have endured a shocking season in 2008 as the footy gods have delivered a karmic response to their representatives' off-field shenanigans of 2006/7. But they experienced a long awaited victory against the Saints in Round 17, snapping a seven match losing streak and moving the Eagles one step further removed from a dreaded first wooden spoon. Perhaps the Eagles were inspired by the news that chronically indecisive ex-Lions skipper Michael Voss had decided to come on board as an assistant coach for 2009 after previously stringing out Essendon and Carlton in 2007 (as a possible coach) and the Gold Coast (as the possible inaugural coach of the new side). Perhaps Vossie was put off the Coasters by the awful choice of nicknames their citizens are being asked to choose from. Sadly neither the Muriels nor the far better Schoolies made the list, but with cool nicknames like the Sharks and Dolphins being unavailable (and a maritime theme seemingly being mandatory, the new team will be called one of: Stingrays, Rays, Marlins, Ironmen or Guards. Seriously- the Ironmen? God help us. That would have to be the single worse nickname in the history of professional sport, and I include the Kolkata Knight Riders, the netballing Skope Tactix from NZ, the Toronto Argonauts (or any random outfit in the Canadian Football League, check the website!) or the Fremantle Dockers in that. Although the Dockers still have the worst club song. Unless we're including the West Coast Eagles or Port Adelaide Power in this. But really, the Ironmen? Will those poxy lifeguard hats be part of the uniform? Will members of the Haemochromatisis Society be given free memberships? Will ex-Goon Peter Sellers' little-known masterpiece "Any Old Iron" be redubbed as the club song? Or will it have to be something by Iron Maiden? If any of that sorry list of potential nicknames is to get up, my vote is for the Marlins- Go the Brandos!

Returning to the game under discussion, the Saints will be kicking themselves for letting slip a chance to push for the last remaining top four spot. However the Swans, who currently occupy fourth spot, blew their chance to secure it by going down at home to the Crows, who themselves snapped a five game losing streak. This was a remarkable game for posters, the SCG brains trust must surely be regretting installing the leather magnets in the goal posts as the Swans pelted them with gay abandon. Nine wins out of ten for the Crows against the Swans, they've got the wood there. Barry Hall's return from the psychiatrist's couch was a mixed bag, he didn't punch anyone but didn't have any great impact on the field either. Food for thought for all concerned there.

While all this was going on two other sides still in finals contention, Richmond and Brisbane, were putting on a belter down in Melbourne. The Lions looked great in the old Fitzroy colours, but unfortunately donning the Roys jumper seems to be the kiss of death for them in 2008. They went in at three quarter time with a fairly comfortable lead, but the Tigers pegged them back until the ball wound up in the hands of Joel Bowden, needing to kick a goal to ensure the win. Bowden had had plenty of media coverage in the previous week, after he had deliberately rushed a couple of behinds in the dying stages of the match against Essendon in a successful bid to run down the clock. Some had compared his actions to those of Trevor Chappell. However this week Bowden got to play the role of Michael Bevan, whacking a four on the last ball of the match (or kicking the goal at least) to steal the points and give the Tiges an outside chance of a long awaited finals berth.

To the Sunday games, and a great coincidence here as all three games were decided by a 28 point margin. At the MCG North Melbourne had little trouble in knocking off the hapless Demons in front of a crowd which could have been comfortably accommodated within the Ponsford Stand, if not the Long Bar in the Members Pavilion. The Dees were coming off a troubled week in which ex-Wimbledon doubles champ and short-lived CEO Paul Macnamee had been shown the door by incoming President Jim Stynes. Perhaps, given this is the 8th Demons CEO in 10 years (Essendon have had one over the same period) Stynes has run across the mark with this one? Rumours that the Woodies will be coming in to take over the position in a job-share arrangement remain unconfirmed at this time.

Over in Adelaide the Fremantle Dockers belied their dreadful season form and won the battle of the Most Disappointing Teams of 2008 comp against the Power in front of another pitiful crowd at AAMI Stadium in Adelaide. In the absence of skipper Matthew Pavlich the Dockers were somehow able to chalk up an AFL/VFL equalling record of 16 individual goalkickers- the six blokes who didn't get on the scoresheet must be dirty! 2008 has been harsh for the Power, basically nothing has gone right for them since the 2007 preliminary final. At least, given that they won't be featuring in September, they'll be spared another 20 goal hiding on a worldwide broadcast on Grand Final day this year.

To the final game of a classic round, and in front of a slightly better crowd Carlton ran all over the Bulldogs in the second half to pull off a stunning victory. Tipsters already shaking from upset after upset were left aghast as the Urinator recovered from a dreadful first half to boot Carlton home with the assistance of a mighty performance from skipper and number one recruit Chris Judd in his 150th match. Carlton's recovery from the doldrums of the Pagan era remains on track. The Dogs are just a tad shaky after consecutive losses, particularly given last quarter fade outs in both games. But their finals spot is guaranteed, whereas Carlton may still be waiting for next year to break their finals drought.

So what a round it was- I got four in the tipping, anyone who got eight is either a medium or a dirty rotten cheater. The final eight may have looked home and hosed just a few weeks ago (I'd refer you to earlier columns but unfortunately the Wrap was on hiatus during this period) but it's anyone's guess who's going to be in the eight now. Not that it matters, Geelong are going to win by a street at this rate of knots. Still, with footy entertainment of the kind provided over the last week there's no shortage of interest in seeing how it all goes. Barring some kind of unforeseen calamity I'll be back writing up the remaining rounds so do stop by and see how it all pans out. Until next week, your proverbial scribe has returned (another Bible reference!) so thanks for keeping the faith.

Oh, and before I forget, a Youtube link- it's Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served. Just because. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSHSxKIyKMM&feature=related

Apologies

Sorry for the lack of posts in the last month or so. It's not just because Essendon sucks this year. Or because I've lost all interest in AFL as a result of same. That's part of the problem, admittedly. Work issues have played their part. And general lack of interest in the whole point of things generally. I'll get back on board eventually. Don't won't to ignore the contibution made by schoolboy favourite Matthew Bate (say it quickly) who continues to play a solo role up front for the Dees. Or any of the other great achievements by AFL numinaries like Sam Newman et al, who continue to make us proud by keeping AFL on par with the NRL for general embarrasment value. Next wrap will come eventually, and will be great. Thanks for keeping the faith in the meantime. Stu