Hey, anybody still remember the 2008 AFL Grand Final? Despite my best intentions, I’ve managed to replicate last year’s faux pas in covering the entire season (with the exception of that ten week gap) before taking off overseas before the main event was given its due. Anyway, in the hope that a late and probably largely inaccurate recollection of the big game is preferable to a continuing wall of silence, the following is provided.
By now the result and basic facts of the game are well known: Geelong managed to replicate the efforts of the NFL’s New England Patriots by concluding an almost perfect season with a disastrous stumble on Grand Final day. Hawthorn played the role of the New York Giants to perfection, ending a 17 year premiership drought and giving long-serving club champion Shane Crawford the perfect send-off. The Hawks’ tactic of rushing behinds at every opportunity resulted in a bizarre Geelong scoreline of 11 goals 23 behinds –not since the Roos of 1977 kicked 9 goals 22 behinds to tie Collingwood (North kicked a lot better the following week) has a team kicked quite so badly on the big day, although the all-time classic shankers remain the Bombers of 1948 who produced an appalling 7 goals 27 behinds to tie Melbourne (and got done a week later in the replay). In 2008 the Cats will also rue a number of missed “gimme’s” of the sort that any given week in the two seasons preceeding would have been snapped up like a heavily discounted fridge at a Boxing Day sale. 2001 Number 1 draft pick Luke Hodge edged out sentimental favourite Gary Ablett Jr for the Norm Smith Medal for best on ground, thus denying the Ablett family a singular slice of history in becoming the only father and son team to win the Norm Smith Medal, let alone in matches for the same team against the same opposition. And the extent of the jubilation in the east of Melbourne was matched only by the extent of the desolation in the Corio Bay vicinity, as Pivotonians mourned the end what looked just a couple of weeks previous like a dynasty set to rival that of the Mings.
For mine, the match was chiefly memorable for the number of déjà vu moments it produced – it was like watching a compilation of famous Grand Final moments from yesteryear. Cam Mooney’s brilliant snap from an impossible angle in the first quarter was Daicosian in its delivery, but whereas the Macedonian Marvel’s 1990 effort was the signal that it was going to be Collingwood’s day, Mooney’s goal proved to be the highlight of both his and his team’s day. In the second quarter, as Geelong completely dominated play but were unable to convert their dominance into scoreboard rewards, one was flashed back a decade to North Melbourne’s similar effort against Adelaide. Like the Roos of ’98, the Cats of ’08 will be ruing some of their misses. Brad Ottens spurned the opportunity to handball to one of about three teammates racing into goal, then missed from 25 metres. Cam Mooney proved that there is no such thing as a certain goal by somehow missing from the goal-square after the halftime siren, he’ll probably prefer watching the replay of his first quarter goal.
More moments of déjà vu? What about Cyril Rioli’s unbelievable second and third efforts to win a free kick when hopelessly outnumbered by Cats on the wing? His uncle Michael Long would have been watching proudly, no doubt recalling his own virtuoso performance out there on Grand Final day 1993. But the déjà vu moment par excellence for the Wrap came when Hawks coach Alistair Clarkson adopted Kevin Sheedy’s 1984 masterstroke of swinging the unlikeliest of characters into the forward line. In 1984 unfashionable backman Billy Duckworth (and to a lesser extent Paul Weston) were brought forward and ran amok amongst the hapless Hawk defence. How sweet it must have been 24 years on for the brown and gold faithful to see that tactic brought on board. Clarkson’s blunt instrument of choice was the portly figure of ex-Power premiership player Stuart “Mountain” Dew. Not since the 1970s halcyon days of Rene “The Incredible Hulk” Kink and Mick “The Galloping Gasometer” Nolan has there been a figure quite as rotund as Dew’s running around in September, although Derek Kickett did turn up to preseason training in 1994 with Sydney resembling Augustus Galoop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory following a long summer of comfort eating having been dropped from the ‘93 Essendon flag side. Dew had been talked out of retirement by Clarkson, and his selection and frontwards deployment duly proved a masterstroke as he bagged two goals and set up another. But given that Cats coach Mark “Bomber” Thompson had a bird’s eye view of the original 1984 move – having been on the field at the time – it is fairly amazing that he didn’t pick it earlier.
I was watching the match with an increasingly excited Hawks fan who, like many of his compatriots, steadfastly refused to believe that the game was in the bag until the final siren sounded. Every time the indomitable figure of Gary Ablett Jr came near the ball my friend had visible palpitations. If anyone was going to get the Cats across the line it was going to be the little bald guy, as courageous and inspiring as his father was nineteen years before him. But once more it was déjà vu, not even Ablett at his peak could deny the Hawks on this day. As the shadows on the MCG lengthened, a series of late Hawk goals ensured that the upset of the 21st century became a reality.
The final siren for season 2008 sounded, sparking jubilation amongst Hawk players and fans alike. Many would have entertained serious doubts not so long ago that they would ever see another Hawthorn premiership, given how close the club came in 1996 to becoming a velcro attachment on a Melbourne jumper. For its longest serving player and ex-captain Shane Crawford, this truly was the sweetest victory of all. Not even the most shattered Cat fan could have begrudged Crawford his joy as he stood on the dais and bellowed “That’s what I’m talking about!!” to the global television audience.
But if the Hawks were ecstatic, the Cats were gutted. What a time to produce such an un-Geelong-like performance. Very hard to put a silver lining on a loss like that to end a season of almost unparalleled dominance. But perhaps the previously inexplicable 86 point shellacking the Cats suffered way back in June against Collingwood is now just a little more explicable. Good news, of course, for Essendon fans – 2000 remains the most successful single season in AFL history. Woo-hoo!
As mentioned before, the Norm Smith went to Luke Hodge for a masterful performance on the halfback flank. Some felt Ablett was stiff to miss – if his televised reaction was anything to go by, Ablett himself was in this camp – but really, given the Hawks’ ultimate winning margin, the medal really had to go to a Hawthorn player.
And that was it for season 2008, one of the most entertaining seasons I can remember. Bravo to Hawthorn for pulling off one of the most unexpected premierships of them all. Commiserations to Geelong for the final result, but kudos on another season of gloriously entertaining football (and full credit to the Cat fans for resisting the temptation to trash the eastern suburbs of Melbourne, Xavier College Muck-up Day style). The bar has been set very high indeed for season 2009, we will await it with baited breath.
Thanks to all the readers, particularly those who encouraged the Wrap’s return after the midseason slump. We’ll see how we go next season. In the meantime, I commend to you “Balls of Gold”, a marvellously entertaining read focusing mainly but not exclusively on cricket. Find it here- http://www.ballsofgold.blogspot.com/
Have a great summer all.
19 November 2008
15 October 2008
Grand Final Pre-Match: Attack Of The Bagpipes
With the Brownlow out of the way, attention was free to turn to the big day itself. The major question in the lead-up for the players and supporters of the competing teams was, as always, who was going to be the hard luck story this time? There’s always one bloke who has been in the team pretty much all season but, through injury, suspension or the dreaded “team balance”, doesn’t get to run through the banner on Grand Final day. Probably the most notable omission in recent memory was that of Derek Kickett from the Essendon premiership side of 1993, after he’d played every game in the season up to that point. Kickett took his dropping very badly, walking out on the club and bearing a grudge against coach Kevin Sheedy that by all accounts has lasted to the present day. There was redemption of a kind for Kickett, who went on to play on Grand Final day a few years later with Sydney (they lost). For most players, however, the opportunity to play in a Grand Final knocks but once throughout a career, if at all. Getting dropped is a truly shattering experience. Last year it was Cats ruckman Mark “Blakey” Blake who felt the sharp edge of the axe, with former skipper Steven “The Shining” King given the opportunity to play in two premierships in consecutive weeks (VFL and AFL) before skipping off to St Kilda. This year Blakey’s position was not in danger, but one Cat still had to miss out and it was speedster David Wojcinski who was the unlucky player. At least Wojcinski had the consolation of having taken part in the previous year’s Grand Final demolition of Port. Over at Hawthorn, nobody was dropped from the winning preliminary final side but ruckman Simon Taylor must have been feeling a bit stiff – he’d played the bulk of the home and away season only to be “rested” for the finals. He’ll be feeling well and truly rested by next season as he hasn’t been given a run since. Melbourne turned on a beautiful spring day for the Grand Final parade, a bigger than usual crowd out resplendent in the contrasting colours of brown and gold/ navy blue and white. To their credit, both Wojcinski and Taylor were able to resist the temptation to push one of their team-mates in front of a tram to boost their own chances of a late recall.
The big day itself finally dawned, excitement nationwide was rapidly approaching fever pitch. But before any on-field action could take place, one more big question remained to be answered – what would the pre-game entertainment provide? Would it be another cause for national shame, like Angry Anderson and the Batmobile in 1991, or the squadron of crotch-grabbing Michael Jackson impersonators in 1993? Would it be a corporate travesty, like the 1986 unveiling of a giant Elders IXL flag? Would it be overly ambitious and thus doomed to failure, like the giant inflatable Wayne Carey of 1996 that buckled at the knees, which inadvertently provided a metaphorical glimpse into Carey’s off-field future? And what about the singers? Would they be utterly predictable, like Mike Brady doing Up There Cazaly or Mark Seymour doing Holy Grail for the billionth time? Would they be a tediously mainstream “artist” given the gig due to a cross-promotion with the televising station, like Guy Sebastian in 2004 or Natalie Bassingthwaighte last year? Or a one-hit wonder like Bachelor Girl in 1998 (indeed, so forgotten that they don’t even make it into Wikipedia’s list of Grand Final artists, but I know they were there, I’ve got the footage)? Or a totally left-field selection that somehow worked, like the Seekers in 1995 or Dame Edna in 2005? And regardless of who they got, would they be crucified by the sound system, like Maroochy Barambah in 1993?
In the event, the entertainment in 2008 fell somewhere in the middle of the poles. It kicked off fairly unpromisingly, with a handful of drummers scattered around the stadium evidently seeking to evoke fond memories of the Beijing Olympic opening ceremony. The only problem there was that the Chinese were able to muster hundreds of drummers beating in perfect synch, whereas the AFL version was on a massively smaller scale and therefore much less impressive. I saw one poor embarrassed looking bloke standing in the aisle somewhere high in the Southern Stand, trying to carry on drumming while being upbraided by a disgruntled patron standing behind him carrying a cardboard tray of half strength beer! It would never have happened in China. Once the drummers had been moved sideways, attention shifted to high above the MCG where a team of female singers were perched precariously on the top of the scoreboard. I can’t tell you what they were singing as I was overcome with a massive case of vicarious vertigo, and had my head between my knees as I gripped firmly onto the nearest piece of heavy furniture. Once we had mercifully returned to solid ground, it became apparent that a ring of acrobats had appeared, balancing on long flexible poles. From a distance (ie. from the top of the scoreboard) it must have appeared as though Vlad the Impaler had been put in charge of the pre-game entertainment this year. While the acrobats bounced around on their poles, the stadium speakers erupted with a blast of noise from the main feature act, Powderfinger, which fortunately didn’t have the effect of startling the lady singers off the scoreboard roof. Powderfinger performed “Baby, I’ve Got You On My Mind” before teaming up with ex-Cold Chisel Ian Moss and, in a probable Grand Final first, a bagpipe ensemble. The assembled supergroup performed the AC/DC classic “Long Way To The Top” which, astute Wrap readers will recall, briefly filled in for the National Anthem some weeks back.
Bagpipe-enhanced versions of the two club songs came next, and how much better does The Toreador Song sound with a bit of skirl and a wailing under-drone? The way it should always have been! Then, with the huge crowd present and uncountable extras watching at home at the very limit of their entertainment capacity, the 2008 premiership cup came into view! For the second year running the cup was treated as a form of short range airborne missile; last year it was subjected to a motion-sickness inducing acrobatic routine; this year saw it attached to a flying fox type device which launched from the top of the grandstand down to the centre of the oval, emitting a worrying amount of sparks over the tightly packed patrons below. Upon reaching ground zero in the centre circle viewers were treated to a huge explosion as fireworks exploded (and don’t they work well in the daytime?), and plumes of smoke billowed forth, presumably suffocating the poor acrobats still balancing on their poles. Truly spectacular stuff. One can only imagine how the AFL will be able to top this next season. They're going to have to tie the cup to a giant arrow and get that bloke from the Barcelona Olympics to fire it into the stadium Robin Hood-style.
Finally, once the smoke had cleared and the surviving shell-shocked acrobats had dragged their wounded brethren to safety, the players were free to run onto the ground for the first time.
Massive banners were raised to the heavens, exhorting the players to feats of unparalleled endeavour. I think I must have been in the bathroom at the time, as I don’t recall the exact wording of the messages. Or who sang the National Anthem, for that matter, possibly it was done instrumentally through the medium of bagpipe this year. I, like everyone else, was far too keen to see the ball finally bounced on Grand Final Day 2008, and at long last it was time for the big game to commence…
More to follow.
The big day itself finally dawned, excitement nationwide was rapidly approaching fever pitch. But before any on-field action could take place, one more big question remained to be answered – what would the pre-game entertainment provide? Would it be another cause for national shame, like Angry Anderson and the Batmobile in 1991, or the squadron of crotch-grabbing Michael Jackson impersonators in 1993? Would it be a corporate travesty, like the 1986 unveiling of a giant Elders IXL flag? Would it be overly ambitious and thus doomed to failure, like the giant inflatable Wayne Carey of 1996 that buckled at the knees, which inadvertently provided a metaphorical glimpse into Carey’s off-field future? And what about the singers? Would they be utterly predictable, like Mike Brady doing Up There Cazaly or Mark Seymour doing Holy Grail for the billionth time? Would they be a tediously mainstream “artist” given the gig due to a cross-promotion with the televising station, like Guy Sebastian in 2004 or Natalie Bassingthwaighte last year? Or a one-hit wonder like Bachelor Girl in 1998 (indeed, so forgotten that they don’t even make it into Wikipedia’s list of Grand Final artists, but I know they were there, I’ve got the footage)? Or a totally left-field selection that somehow worked, like the Seekers in 1995 or Dame Edna in 2005? And regardless of who they got, would they be crucified by the sound system, like Maroochy Barambah in 1993?
In the event, the entertainment in 2008 fell somewhere in the middle of the poles. It kicked off fairly unpromisingly, with a handful of drummers scattered around the stadium evidently seeking to evoke fond memories of the Beijing Olympic opening ceremony. The only problem there was that the Chinese were able to muster hundreds of drummers beating in perfect synch, whereas the AFL version was on a massively smaller scale and therefore much less impressive. I saw one poor embarrassed looking bloke standing in the aisle somewhere high in the Southern Stand, trying to carry on drumming while being upbraided by a disgruntled patron standing behind him carrying a cardboard tray of half strength beer! It would never have happened in China. Once the drummers had been moved sideways, attention shifted to high above the MCG where a team of female singers were perched precariously on the top of the scoreboard. I can’t tell you what they were singing as I was overcome with a massive case of vicarious vertigo, and had my head between my knees as I gripped firmly onto the nearest piece of heavy furniture. Once we had mercifully returned to solid ground, it became apparent that a ring of acrobats had appeared, balancing on long flexible poles. From a distance (ie. from the top of the scoreboard) it must have appeared as though Vlad the Impaler had been put in charge of the pre-game entertainment this year. While the acrobats bounced around on their poles, the stadium speakers erupted with a blast of noise from the main feature act, Powderfinger, which fortunately didn’t have the effect of startling the lady singers off the scoreboard roof. Powderfinger performed “Baby, I’ve Got You On My Mind” before teaming up with ex-Cold Chisel Ian Moss and, in a probable Grand Final first, a bagpipe ensemble. The assembled supergroup performed the AC/DC classic “Long Way To The Top” which, astute Wrap readers will recall, briefly filled in for the National Anthem some weeks back.
Bagpipe-enhanced versions of the two club songs came next, and how much better does The Toreador Song sound with a bit of skirl and a wailing under-drone? The way it should always have been! Then, with the huge crowd present and uncountable extras watching at home at the very limit of their entertainment capacity, the 2008 premiership cup came into view! For the second year running the cup was treated as a form of short range airborne missile; last year it was subjected to a motion-sickness inducing acrobatic routine; this year saw it attached to a flying fox type device which launched from the top of the grandstand down to the centre of the oval, emitting a worrying amount of sparks over the tightly packed patrons below. Upon reaching ground zero in the centre circle viewers were treated to a huge explosion as fireworks exploded (and don’t they work well in the daytime?), and plumes of smoke billowed forth, presumably suffocating the poor acrobats still balancing on their poles. Truly spectacular stuff. One can only imagine how the AFL will be able to top this next season. They're going to have to tie the cup to a giant arrow and get that bloke from the Barcelona Olympics to fire it into the stadium Robin Hood-style.
Finally, once the smoke had cleared and the surviving shell-shocked acrobats had dragged their wounded brethren to safety, the players were free to run onto the ground for the first time.
Massive banners were raised to the heavens, exhorting the players to feats of unparalleled endeavour. I think I must have been in the bathroom at the time, as I don’t recall the exact wording of the messages. Or who sang the National Anthem, for that matter, possibly it was done instrumentally through the medium of bagpipe this year. I, like everyone else, was far too keen to see the ball finally bounced on Grand Final Day 2008, and at long last it was time for the big game to commence…
More to follow.
27 September 2008
The Grand Final Part One: A New Hope
Well, good news for death and taxes. If a team that's won 42 matches out of 44 can't take the premiership, there are indeed only two certainties in life. By now, of course, the result of AFL Grand Final 2008 is universally known. The seemingly indestructible Pivotonian Empire has been defeated, its Death Star of indomitability blown to shreds by the Rebel Alliance of the Eastern Suburbs (with Chance Bateman playing the role of Chewbacca, or possibly one of the Ewoks). The guard has been changed, the torch has been passed, and the city of Melbourne is draped in brown and gold. Down the Avalon Highway, however, things are pretty grim. The ecstacy of the 2007 droughtbreaker must have seemed like an all-too distant memory to Cats fans on the Sunday morning following this year’s decider; the bitter déjà vu of all of those losses in the mid-90s would have been flooding back like an uncorked bottle of cheap Spumante.
But at the start of Grand Final week, all of that was still to come. The air was filled with the scents of spring and the glorious anticipation of an imminent battle royale. And nowhere was this more the case than the garden state of Victoria, whose populace was over the moon at the prospect of an all-Victorian Grand Final for the first time since the Almost Invincibles Bombers put the hapless Demons to the sword way back in 2000. In the years following, supporters of neutral Victorian clubs to whom an interstate side’s victory was anathema were faced with either getting behind Essendon in 2001 (unpalatable to many), or Collingwood in 2002-3 (unpalatable to all), or then picking the lesser of two evils in the three years following as both Grand Finalists hailed from the northern, southern, or western wastelands. Last year’s Grand Final at last gave neutral Victorians the opportunity to get behind a team that most were at worst ambivalent about, belting a widely despised interstate outfit in a most popular outcome. But it just hasn’t been the same without two local (or semi-local, in Geelong’s case) sides going up against each other.
And the prospect of these two sides doing battle whetted the appetite in a way that few other prospective match-ups could do. For Hawthorn and Geelong took part in one of the all-time Grand Final epics back in 1989, truly a match for the ages. Nostalgia for all-things 1989 (Tiananmen Square- bad; Seinfeld and the Simpsons begin- good; ACT Legislative Assembly established- indifferent) flooded back as memories of the great game hammered the airwaves. For those who somehow missed all the references to it, the 1989 Grand Final came after years of disappointing one-sided Grand Finals (although 1984 wasn’t too bad). It featured a Hawks side in its seventh consecutive Grand Final, up against a Cats side filled with exciting players. It featured violence from the outset, with Mark Yeates crunching Dermott Brereton who was somehow able to remain on the ground and kick a vital goal, despite vomiting profusely. Ironically, in years to come Brereton would go on to become a minor television celebrity whose contributions on a range of reality shows would cause a similar reaction from the viewing public. But no more so than his ex-Hawk team-mate Robert (Dipper) Dipierdomenico, who achieved fame post-footy career by becoming the face and voice of dodgy garment retailers Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray. On the big day in 1989, Dipper achieved immortality for playing on despite a punctured lung which, if he had taken an hour or so longer to get medically treated, would have cost him his life (and all of those post-footy sponsorship endorsements). But the man who stood head and shoulders above all others on that fateful day way back in the ‘80s was the great man, Gary Ablett Sr, or “God” to his many followers. After the Hawks had bolted out to a seemingly insurmountable lead, it was Ablett’s sublime skill and sense of occasion that got the Cats back into it, piling on goal after goal in an unmatched individual performance. When the final siren rang with the Hawks clinging on by a single straight kick and with every player on both sides on the verge of exhaustion, few could have doubted that they had witnessed a modern day classic. Could we dare to dream that the 2008 encounter would provide a worthy sequel, a la the Godfather Part II or The Empire Strikes Back? Or were we fated to endure a Blues Brother 2000, a Ghostbusters 2, or even, god forbid, a ghastly unwanted latter day remake along the lines of Inspector Gadget, Get Smart, the Mod Squad or The Dukes of Hazzard, which would serve only to sully the memory of the original?
That question wouldn’t be answered until the Grand Final was played on the Saturday. With a whole week to fill until the big day, there was plenty of opportunity to hand out awards to the deserving. The naming of the All-Australian team always leads to a bit of controversy, selection is a highly difficult process with so many deserving the honour of gaining a gaudy jumper never to be worn on the field of battle. This year fourteen teams saw their players gain representation. The Cats not surprisingly contributed the most, although their seven players picked represented a loss of two from their astonishing nine the previous season. The two sides not represented were the hapless Demons, to no great surprise, and Essendon, which was outrageous. Surely the emergence of ruckman David Hille as a genuine star should have got him in ahead of one of the beanpole chancers from the west? Apparently not. Not quite as big an insult as that dealt to Collingwood back in 1996, when not a single Magpie was named in the AFL’s Team of the Century (don’t get Eddie McGuire started on that one), but still worthy of rancour among the Windy Hill faithful.
No time to dwell on such matters, as the eagerly awaited Brownlow Medal count needs addressing. As detailed in my last Wrap, which went up about a month or so ago, the Brownlow Medal has been severely criticised for its many structural faults. However, it remains the only opportunity for viewers at home to tune in and pick faults with the outfits worn by the players’ WAGs, and to enjoy the sight of those not in the running becoming progressively inebriated as the evening wears on. I myself many years back made the unwise decision to join in a drinking game based on the votes received by various players. Unfortunately I drew James Hird’s name out of the hat and can’t recall anything about the count beyond about Round 12. I believe he actually went on to win that year. This year Hird wasn’t going to feature, and the count wasn’t being broadcast in the ACT anyway, so I was in no personal danger. It was felt to be a fairly open field this year, plenty of players were strong possibilities but there was no outright runaway favourite. For the second year in a row the great Gary Ablett Sr’s son Gary Ablett Jr was widely fancied, as was diminutive Roo Brent Harvey. The long-suffering champion of the long-suffering supporters of a long-suffering team, Tiger Matthew Richardson, was the sentimental favourite. Some felt that Cat Jimmy Bartel was a show at going back to back, while others thought Bulldog Adam Cooney might become the first AFL Number 1 draft pick to win the coveted medal. But before we got to that point, there were 22 rounds to count through, as well as untold hours of red carpet footage of players arriving with WAGs in tow. Truth be told, many tune in just for this alone. There have been some absolute fashion disasters in the past. Who could forget Nathan Buckley’s partner’s diamond encrusted G-string? Or Andrew McLeod’s wife painting his number (23) on her back with glitter – she was lucky none of the Mad Monday-affected opposition players got confused and tackled her to the ground! I am reliably informed that there were no such catastrophes this year, at least among the female contingent. There haven’t been that many historical fashion faux pas’s among the men, mainly because it’s pretty difficult to get a tuxedo wrong unless the lengths are done wrong Mr Bean-style. The two that are probably most memorable were both worn by winners: Graham Teasdale’s luridly coloured velvet tuxedo in 1977; and psychotic dwarf Tony Liberatore’s appalling Nagee tie in 1990. Nagee (I have no idea about the spelling) was a poor man’s version of Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray which is evidently no longer in business, it’s possible that the publicity generated by Libba’s tie was the final nail in their coffin. This year, for reasons known only to himself, Saints skipper Nick Riedwoldt paid tribute to Teasdale by wearing a velvet suit himself, but fortunately Riedwoldt’s version was at least black. The real fashion atrocities were committed by the barbers – how bad are Generation Y haircuts? Dermott Brereton’s 1989 permed mullet was a better look than some of the dog’s breakfasts going around these days!
Once the spectacularly attired lads and lasses were finally off the red carpet and seated, the count at last got under way. And in a move that finally proved the Wrap’s theory that the AFL has been operating all year in a time-space continuum variant to that experienced by the rest of the human race, AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou kicked off by reading the votes for Round 2 ahead of Round 1. Once he’d sorted himself out and got into some sort of order it was a former winner, Simon Black of Brisbane who’d saluted in 2002, who got off to a flyer. Black polled four best on grounds in the opening eight rounds, but was closely shadowed by Cooney, Richo, and Hawk Brad Sewell. The AFL would have been stressing in the middle rounds that one three ineligible players – dual ex-winner Adam Goodes, or Hawks pair Buddy Franklin and Sam Mitchell – would cause embarrassment by “winning” the award, but fortunately they fell off the pace in later rounds. Young Ablett made his move in Rounds 10-13, picking up 11 from a possible 12 votes, but still trailed Black by a single vote going into Round 15. Popular favourite Richo was eliciting roars of approval with every vote received. Black moved to 23 votes after Round 16, but failed to receive another vote for the night. Richo and Ablett both got to 22 after Round 20, with Cooney one vote behind. The tension could have been cut with a knife as the counting for the final two rounds got under way. Richo was clearly loving the attention, mugging to the cameras like a ham actor playing a minor role in a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. Ablett, on the other hand, was grimacing with pain when votes didn’t go his way – he clearly wanted to be taking the medal home at the end of the evening.
Black, Richo and Ablett all failed to poll a vote in Round 21, but Cooney polled a perfect 3 to move into the lead for the first time all evening. When none of the leaders were able to trouble the scorer in Round 22 it was Adam Cooney of the Western Bulldogs, the No 1 pick of the 2003 draft, who had won the honour of the 2008 Brownlow Medal at the end of a thrilling count. It transpired during his post-award interview that: Cooney had spent the bulk of the day enjoying “Mad Monday” with his Bulldog teammates, many of whom turned up en masse to congratulate him dressed in an array of inappropriate costumes (although thankfully nobody took a leaf out of Fev’s book); he had been locked out of the venue during the counting of several votes after a door had locked behind him while taking a nervous but necessary pitstop; he had recently proposed to his girlfriend, utilising a Burger Ring as an impromptu engagement ring. Clearly a man with a future in post-footy entertainment, he could easily become the next face of Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray.
More to follow.
But at the start of Grand Final week, all of that was still to come. The air was filled with the scents of spring and the glorious anticipation of an imminent battle royale. And nowhere was this more the case than the garden state of Victoria, whose populace was over the moon at the prospect of an all-Victorian Grand Final for the first time since the Almost Invincibles Bombers put the hapless Demons to the sword way back in 2000. In the years following, supporters of neutral Victorian clubs to whom an interstate side’s victory was anathema were faced with either getting behind Essendon in 2001 (unpalatable to many), or Collingwood in 2002-3 (unpalatable to all), or then picking the lesser of two evils in the three years following as both Grand Finalists hailed from the northern, southern, or western wastelands. Last year’s Grand Final at last gave neutral Victorians the opportunity to get behind a team that most were at worst ambivalent about, belting a widely despised interstate outfit in a most popular outcome. But it just hasn’t been the same without two local (or semi-local, in Geelong’s case) sides going up against each other.
And the prospect of these two sides doing battle whetted the appetite in a way that few other prospective match-ups could do. For Hawthorn and Geelong took part in one of the all-time Grand Final epics back in 1989, truly a match for the ages. Nostalgia for all-things 1989 (Tiananmen Square- bad; Seinfeld and the Simpsons begin- good; ACT Legislative Assembly established- indifferent) flooded back as memories of the great game hammered the airwaves. For those who somehow missed all the references to it, the 1989 Grand Final came after years of disappointing one-sided Grand Finals (although 1984 wasn’t too bad). It featured a Hawks side in its seventh consecutive Grand Final, up against a Cats side filled with exciting players. It featured violence from the outset, with Mark Yeates crunching Dermott Brereton who was somehow able to remain on the ground and kick a vital goal, despite vomiting profusely. Ironically, in years to come Brereton would go on to become a minor television celebrity whose contributions on a range of reality shows would cause a similar reaction from the viewing public. But no more so than his ex-Hawk team-mate Robert (Dipper) Dipierdomenico, who achieved fame post-footy career by becoming the face and voice of dodgy garment retailers Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray. On the big day in 1989, Dipper achieved immortality for playing on despite a punctured lung which, if he had taken an hour or so longer to get medically treated, would have cost him his life (and all of those post-footy sponsorship endorsements). But the man who stood head and shoulders above all others on that fateful day way back in the ‘80s was the great man, Gary Ablett Sr, or “God” to his many followers. After the Hawks had bolted out to a seemingly insurmountable lead, it was Ablett’s sublime skill and sense of occasion that got the Cats back into it, piling on goal after goal in an unmatched individual performance. When the final siren rang with the Hawks clinging on by a single straight kick and with every player on both sides on the verge of exhaustion, few could have doubted that they had witnessed a modern day classic. Could we dare to dream that the 2008 encounter would provide a worthy sequel, a la the Godfather Part II or The Empire Strikes Back? Or were we fated to endure a Blues Brother 2000, a Ghostbusters 2, or even, god forbid, a ghastly unwanted latter day remake along the lines of Inspector Gadget, Get Smart, the Mod Squad or The Dukes of Hazzard, which would serve only to sully the memory of the original?
That question wouldn’t be answered until the Grand Final was played on the Saturday. With a whole week to fill until the big day, there was plenty of opportunity to hand out awards to the deserving. The naming of the All-Australian team always leads to a bit of controversy, selection is a highly difficult process with so many deserving the honour of gaining a gaudy jumper never to be worn on the field of battle. This year fourteen teams saw their players gain representation. The Cats not surprisingly contributed the most, although their seven players picked represented a loss of two from their astonishing nine the previous season. The two sides not represented were the hapless Demons, to no great surprise, and Essendon, which was outrageous. Surely the emergence of ruckman David Hille as a genuine star should have got him in ahead of one of the beanpole chancers from the west? Apparently not. Not quite as big an insult as that dealt to Collingwood back in 1996, when not a single Magpie was named in the AFL’s Team of the Century (don’t get Eddie McGuire started on that one), but still worthy of rancour among the Windy Hill faithful.
No time to dwell on such matters, as the eagerly awaited Brownlow Medal count needs addressing. As detailed in my last Wrap, which went up about a month or so ago, the Brownlow Medal has been severely criticised for its many structural faults. However, it remains the only opportunity for viewers at home to tune in and pick faults with the outfits worn by the players’ WAGs, and to enjoy the sight of those not in the running becoming progressively inebriated as the evening wears on. I myself many years back made the unwise decision to join in a drinking game based on the votes received by various players. Unfortunately I drew James Hird’s name out of the hat and can’t recall anything about the count beyond about Round 12. I believe he actually went on to win that year. This year Hird wasn’t going to feature, and the count wasn’t being broadcast in the ACT anyway, so I was in no personal danger. It was felt to be a fairly open field this year, plenty of players were strong possibilities but there was no outright runaway favourite. For the second year in a row the great Gary Ablett Sr’s son Gary Ablett Jr was widely fancied, as was diminutive Roo Brent Harvey. The long-suffering champion of the long-suffering supporters of a long-suffering team, Tiger Matthew Richardson, was the sentimental favourite. Some felt that Cat Jimmy Bartel was a show at going back to back, while others thought Bulldog Adam Cooney might become the first AFL Number 1 draft pick to win the coveted medal. But before we got to that point, there were 22 rounds to count through, as well as untold hours of red carpet footage of players arriving with WAGs in tow. Truth be told, many tune in just for this alone. There have been some absolute fashion disasters in the past. Who could forget Nathan Buckley’s partner’s diamond encrusted G-string? Or Andrew McLeod’s wife painting his number (23) on her back with glitter – she was lucky none of the Mad Monday-affected opposition players got confused and tackled her to the ground! I am reliably informed that there were no such catastrophes this year, at least among the female contingent. There haven’t been that many historical fashion faux pas’s among the men, mainly because it’s pretty difficult to get a tuxedo wrong unless the lengths are done wrong Mr Bean-style. The two that are probably most memorable were both worn by winners: Graham Teasdale’s luridly coloured velvet tuxedo in 1977; and psychotic dwarf Tony Liberatore’s appalling Nagee tie in 1990. Nagee (I have no idea about the spelling) was a poor man’s version of Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray which is evidently no longer in business, it’s possible that the publicity generated by Libba’s tie was the final nail in their coffin. This year, for reasons known only to himself, Saints skipper Nick Riedwoldt paid tribute to Teasdale by wearing a velvet suit himself, but fortunately Riedwoldt’s version was at least black. The real fashion atrocities were committed by the barbers – how bad are Generation Y haircuts? Dermott Brereton’s 1989 permed mullet was a better look than some of the dog’s breakfasts going around these days!
Once the spectacularly attired lads and lasses were finally off the red carpet and seated, the count at last got under way. And in a move that finally proved the Wrap’s theory that the AFL has been operating all year in a time-space continuum variant to that experienced by the rest of the human race, AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou kicked off by reading the votes for Round 2 ahead of Round 1. Once he’d sorted himself out and got into some sort of order it was a former winner, Simon Black of Brisbane who’d saluted in 2002, who got off to a flyer. Black polled four best on grounds in the opening eight rounds, but was closely shadowed by Cooney, Richo, and Hawk Brad Sewell. The AFL would have been stressing in the middle rounds that one three ineligible players – dual ex-winner Adam Goodes, or Hawks pair Buddy Franklin and Sam Mitchell – would cause embarrassment by “winning” the award, but fortunately they fell off the pace in later rounds. Young Ablett made his move in Rounds 10-13, picking up 11 from a possible 12 votes, but still trailed Black by a single vote going into Round 15. Popular favourite Richo was eliciting roars of approval with every vote received. Black moved to 23 votes after Round 16, but failed to receive another vote for the night. Richo and Ablett both got to 22 after Round 20, with Cooney one vote behind. The tension could have been cut with a knife as the counting for the final two rounds got under way. Richo was clearly loving the attention, mugging to the cameras like a ham actor playing a minor role in a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. Ablett, on the other hand, was grimacing with pain when votes didn’t go his way – he clearly wanted to be taking the medal home at the end of the evening.
Black, Richo and Ablett all failed to poll a vote in Round 21, but Cooney polled a perfect 3 to move into the lead for the first time all evening. When none of the leaders were able to trouble the scorer in Round 22 it was Adam Cooney of the Western Bulldogs, the No 1 pick of the 2003 draft, who had won the honour of the 2008 Brownlow Medal at the end of a thrilling count. It transpired during his post-award interview that: Cooney had spent the bulk of the day enjoying “Mad Monday” with his Bulldog teammates, many of whom turned up en masse to congratulate him dressed in an array of inappropriate costumes (although thankfully nobody took a leaf out of Fev’s book); he had been locked out of the venue during the counting of several votes after a door had locked behind him while taking a nervous but necessary pitstop; he had recently proposed to his girlfriend, utilising a Burger Ring as an impromptu engagement ring. Clearly a man with a future in post-footy entertainment, he could easily become the next face of Dimmeys of Richmond and Forges of Footscray.
More to follow.
21 September 2008
Finals Weeks Two-Three: The Wrap Of Brotherly Love
While footy is a team game, the skill and brilliance of individual players goes a long way to ensuring that the stadiums are full (although not in Sydney), and that the AFL remains the number one footballing code in Australia. So it is only fair and right that the players have the opportunity to receive due recognition at the end of every season. There are varying methods through which this can be achieved. All of the newspapers and TV shows have their own awards, distributing cars, hampers and cruises for two to winners in a wide variety of categories. The AFL’s official award has since 1924 been the Brownlow Medal, named after a former Geelong administrator and awarded to the “fairest and best” player. This designation caused some red faces a decade or so ago, when in consecutive years the award was “won” by ineligible players – first in 1996 North’s Corey McKernan shared the winning number of votes with Michael Voss and James Hird to no avail, then in 1997 the Dogs’ Chris Grant won outright but had to watch from home as the medal went to Old Father Time Robert Harvey (then a sprightly young man). And the Brownlow Medal is a very arbitrary award. It can seemingly be won only by midfielders (and blond ones at that). While it is true that a number of truly great players have won Brownlow Medals, such as Dick Reynolds, Michael Voss, James Hird, Robert Harvey, Nathan Buckley and Chris Judd, a number of medals have gone to those who would otherwise have faded deservedly into obscurity (Brad Hardie, Graham Teasdale, Shane Woewodin), or to others who spent far more time pacing nervously in the corridor while the tribunal weighed up how long their latest suspension should be than would seem fitting for someone supposedly the “fairest” player in the competition (Tony Lockett, Robert Dipierdomenico, Tony Liberatore). It is also frequently pointed out by the footy commentariat that many of the genuine greats of the game never won a Brownlow (Ted Whitten, Ron Barassi, Leigh Matthews, Wayne Carey, Gary Ablett Sr etc. etc.).
For all of these reasons, moves have been made in recent years to promote an alternative award as the jewel in the crown: the Leigh Matthews Trophy, or Most Valuable Trophy as voted by the players. On the surface, this sounds great. Any award voted for by a player’s peers must surely have a resonance greater than one voted for by the little men in tangerine/aqua/cerise. However this year’s MVP award process has demonstrated that there is no perfect system; there will always be bugs in the ointment. The 2008 AFL MVP award went to Geelong’s Gary Ablett Jr, his second straight win. No problems there, Junior is undeniably a champion who can do things few others can, and can virtually win a game single-handedly. However the voting process revealed all kinds of anomalies. Unlike the Brownlow Medal, where the votes are cast by the umpires on a round by round basis, the MVP voting is done by the players in two stages; one where the players can vote for their team-mates, and one where they can’t. The list of players is also limited to three per side, therefore meaning that the hapless Demons get the same representation as the all-conquering Cats. It’s a bit like the Australian Senate in that regard, with Melbourne playing Tasmania to Geelong’s New South Wales. What this meant in practice this year was that Geelong couldn’t fit the reigning Brownlow Medallist Jimmy Bartel into its list of three, opting instead for Ablett, Joel Selwood and Cam Ling, the latter fresh from his Olympic pole-vaulting triumph. When it came to the second round of voting, all kinds of interesting statistics emerged. First, hardly any of the Collingwood players bothered to vote. Those who did snubbed Lance Franklin completely, despite (or possibly because) Buddy having carved them up on both occasions the two sides had met. Then there was the brotherly love factor. Sydney’s Jarryd (Jared? Jarred?) McVeigh has had an outstanding season, and lifted his game to a new level. But is he now among the game’s elite? Hell yes, according to the Essendon players, who gave him a ringing electoral seal of endorsement. Purely coincidental that his brother Mark is at Windy Hill, and evidently has a Tammany Hall/ Zimbabwe-style touch with his teammates when it comes to “suggesting” the correct way to vote. As does Brisbane’s Troy Selwood, whose Lions brethren voted en masse for Geelong’s Joel. Joel must be a little disappointed that his other two brothers Adam and Scott, both at West Coast, couldn’t between them manage an Eagles’ bloc to get him across the line. Frosty conversation around the Christmas dinner table at Chez Selwood this year, perhaps. So while the end result of the MVP was not unpopular, perhaps the off-season will provide opportunity for some tinkering of the voting system.
Four matches have been played in the finals series in the two weeks since I last got around to posting, let’s quickly run through them. The first encounter saw the battered Bulldogs regroup to take on the Swans at the MCG, in front of a thankfully larger (although still disappointing) crowd than that at the previous Swans’ final. The match started inauspiciously, if amusingly; with the players lined up and the crowd standing to attention for the national anthem, the distinctive strains of AC/DC’s “Long Way To The Top” blasted forward instead. Some would argue it would make a better anthem anyway. The game itself proved tight in the first half, but the Dogs ran away with it in the second, putting through ten goals to four for an easy 37 point win. A highly satisfying victory for Bulldogs’ coach Rodney Eade, who was previously at the helm of the Swans. Sydney will be pleased that they were able to carry their finals campaign into the second week, but will now have to think hard about how to stay competitive as their playing list ages – the fickle Sydney market will not take kindly to any “rebuilding years”.
The Saturday night fixture of week two saw the Saints take on the Magpies, and my Collingwood brother-in-law and I decided that the Ainslie Football Club might be a venue offering an appropriate atmosphere. Ainslie was certainly not lacking in sporting atmosphere; screens left right and centre offered a smorgasbord selection of AFL, rugby league, rugby union and even English Premier League soccer (complete with a table of drunken English football hooligans). But our attention, and that of many others, was firmly fixed on the Pies and Saints. It’s fair to say that amongst supporters of other clubs, Collingwood does not rank highly as a “second team”. Indeed, they’re commonly known as “the filth” by many. Even I would normally be loathe to be associated with the black and white, but as my brother-in-law hails from the more socially acceptable “Sinn Fein” membership wing of the club, rather than the great unwashed and unreconstructed outer, I was able to put negative feelings aside (mainly dating from 1990) and come along. However the overwhelming majority of neutrals both at Ainslie and elsewhere were firmly hoping to see the Magpies get trounced. And everyone bar my brother-in-law went home happy as Collingwood put in a shocker to go down by 34 points, season over for the Carringbush. The final margin didn’t really reflect the skill gulf between the sides, but had St Kilda kicked less accurately (17 goals 4 behinds) or Collingwood more so (9 goals 18) it might have all panned out differently. It wasn’t to be, though, Saints skipper Nick Riewoldt was unstoppable up forward while the Magpies didn’t have any clear route to goal. Towards the end the cameras flashed up shots of the Collingwood cheer squad leader “Joffa” looking totally despondent, followed by Magpie El Supremo Eddie McGuire looking similarly glum. This was greeted with a huge roar of applause from the pro-Saint gallery at Ainslie, as were shots of banished Pies Alan Didak and Heath Shaw sitting in the crowd in their suits. But the most miserable looking Magpies of all were two kids aged about six who were sitting with Eddie McGuire – evidently they’d won a competition of some kind with a prize of attending a final with the Collingwood President. If only they’d won it the previous week! For Pies fans it was a case of what might have been, if only Shaw and Didak had stuck to lemonade back in July. They’ll dine out over summer on being the only team to beat Geelong during the home and away season, but what a frustrating way to end the year.
And so to the Preliminary Finals, just four teams left with everything to play for. This time last year Geelong very nearly slipped up against Collingwood, and their fans were once again biting their nails as the Western Bulldogs took it right up to them. The Dogs dominated large stretches of play but their inability to convert opportunities into goals ultimately cost it dearly. The Cats never really dominated the match, but their finals experience really showed as they were able to soak up relentless Bulldog pressure before sweeping the ball to the other end and inevitably scoring another major. The eventual margin of 29 points was probably about right. Geelong advance to the Grand Final to defend their title, all over though for 2008 for the Doggies. The Bulldogs will rue their inaccurate kicking, but perhaps their major problem was that 2008 was simply not a great year to be a contender – in any other season the Dogs would have been a genuine chance, but this year they were clearly not in the top two. The Bullies are now the unwanted holders of the title both for longest premiership drought (since 1954) and longest wait to appear in a Grand Final (since 1961, although it should be noted that the Fremantle Dockers are yet to appear in a Grand Final and almost certainly never will.) So 2008 will join 1998, 1997, 1992 and 1985 in the Bulldog pantheon of lost preliminary final years.
And so to the penultimate match of 2008, the preliminary final between Hawthorn and St Kilda. The last time these two sides met it was the Saints who prevailed, coming back after being well behind at half time. And they were once more well behind at half time in this match, but there were to be no repeats of their earlier heroics. Although Buddy Franklin had a rare shocker after his blitzkrieg performance in week one of the finals, the Hawks had an army of battlers willing to step up in his stead. The forgotten man of the Hawks’ forward line, “The Other” Mark Williams, booted five, while Franklin’s straight man Jarryd (Jared? Jarred?) Roughead got four. Spiritual leader Luke Hodge was inspirational, remaining on the ground after having his ribs crunched and spitting blood in a manner reminiscent of Hawks legends Dipper and Dermie in the ’89 Grand Final. And Chance Bateman’s wild beribboned locks may make him look like a hybrid of Boy George from Culture Club circa 1984 and the Paddlepop Lion, but he can play. Just as well.
With the final result not in doubt after half time, the Saints’ attention turned to the fact that game 383 was going to be it for Old Father Time Robert Harvey. With his departure an era has finally ended – Harvey was the last remaining VFL player and the last left from the 1980s. An amazing achievement of longevity, tarnished only by the lack of premiership success. At least Harvey did get to play in a Grand Final back in ’97, the year he won the first of his back to back Brownlow Medals. But in recent years the Saints’ record in Preliminary Finals has rivalled that of the Bulldogs, with this year’s loss going alongside those of 2004 and 2005. 1966 must seem a very long time ago to the red, white and black brigade.
And so, after 25 weeks and who knows how many games, the 2008 season has come down to one fixture, and it’s the one we wanted. The reigning champs, Geelong, versus the worthy challengers, Hawthorn. Last time these two sides met in a Grand Final it was a modern day classic. Can they do it again? Let’s hope so. See you back here after the Grand Final for a comprehensive Wrap of the big day, plus a bit on the Brownlow if I get around to it. My tip- Geelong by 6 points, Buddy for Norm Smith.
For all of these reasons, moves have been made in recent years to promote an alternative award as the jewel in the crown: the Leigh Matthews Trophy, or Most Valuable Trophy as voted by the players. On the surface, this sounds great. Any award voted for by a player’s peers must surely have a resonance greater than one voted for by the little men in tangerine/aqua/cerise. However this year’s MVP award process has demonstrated that there is no perfect system; there will always be bugs in the ointment. The 2008 AFL MVP award went to Geelong’s Gary Ablett Jr, his second straight win. No problems there, Junior is undeniably a champion who can do things few others can, and can virtually win a game single-handedly. However the voting process revealed all kinds of anomalies. Unlike the Brownlow Medal, where the votes are cast by the umpires on a round by round basis, the MVP voting is done by the players in two stages; one where the players can vote for their team-mates, and one where they can’t. The list of players is also limited to three per side, therefore meaning that the hapless Demons get the same representation as the all-conquering Cats. It’s a bit like the Australian Senate in that regard, with Melbourne playing Tasmania to Geelong’s New South Wales. What this meant in practice this year was that Geelong couldn’t fit the reigning Brownlow Medallist Jimmy Bartel into its list of three, opting instead for Ablett, Joel Selwood and Cam Ling, the latter fresh from his Olympic pole-vaulting triumph. When it came to the second round of voting, all kinds of interesting statistics emerged. First, hardly any of the Collingwood players bothered to vote. Those who did snubbed Lance Franklin completely, despite (or possibly because) Buddy having carved them up on both occasions the two sides had met. Then there was the brotherly love factor. Sydney’s Jarryd (Jared? Jarred?) McVeigh has had an outstanding season, and lifted his game to a new level. But is he now among the game’s elite? Hell yes, according to the Essendon players, who gave him a ringing electoral seal of endorsement. Purely coincidental that his brother Mark is at Windy Hill, and evidently has a Tammany Hall/ Zimbabwe-style touch with his teammates when it comes to “suggesting” the correct way to vote. As does Brisbane’s Troy Selwood, whose Lions brethren voted en masse for Geelong’s Joel. Joel must be a little disappointed that his other two brothers Adam and Scott, both at West Coast, couldn’t between them manage an Eagles’ bloc to get him across the line. Frosty conversation around the Christmas dinner table at Chez Selwood this year, perhaps. So while the end result of the MVP was not unpopular, perhaps the off-season will provide opportunity for some tinkering of the voting system.
Four matches have been played in the finals series in the two weeks since I last got around to posting, let’s quickly run through them. The first encounter saw the battered Bulldogs regroup to take on the Swans at the MCG, in front of a thankfully larger (although still disappointing) crowd than that at the previous Swans’ final. The match started inauspiciously, if amusingly; with the players lined up and the crowd standing to attention for the national anthem, the distinctive strains of AC/DC’s “Long Way To The Top” blasted forward instead. Some would argue it would make a better anthem anyway. The game itself proved tight in the first half, but the Dogs ran away with it in the second, putting through ten goals to four for an easy 37 point win. A highly satisfying victory for Bulldogs’ coach Rodney Eade, who was previously at the helm of the Swans. Sydney will be pleased that they were able to carry their finals campaign into the second week, but will now have to think hard about how to stay competitive as their playing list ages – the fickle Sydney market will not take kindly to any “rebuilding years”.
The Saturday night fixture of week two saw the Saints take on the Magpies, and my Collingwood brother-in-law and I decided that the Ainslie Football Club might be a venue offering an appropriate atmosphere. Ainslie was certainly not lacking in sporting atmosphere; screens left right and centre offered a smorgasbord selection of AFL, rugby league, rugby union and even English Premier League soccer (complete with a table of drunken English football hooligans). But our attention, and that of many others, was firmly fixed on the Pies and Saints. It’s fair to say that amongst supporters of other clubs, Collingwood does not rank highly as a “second team”. Indeed, they’re commonly known as “the filth” by many. Even I would normally be loathe to be associated with the black and white, but as my brother-in-law hails from the more socially acceptable “Sinn Fein” membership wing of the club, rather than the great unwashed and unreconstructed outer, I was able to put negative feelings aside (mainly dating from 1990) and come along. However the overwhelming majority of neutrals both at Ainslie and elsewhere were firmly hoping to see the Magpies get trounced. And everyone bar my brother-in-law went home happy as Collingwood put in a shocker to go down by 34 points, season over for the Carringbush. The final margin didn’t really reflect the skill gulf between the sides, but had St Kilda kicked less accurately (17 goals 4 behinds) or Collingwood more so (9 goals 18) it might have all panned out differently. It wasn’t to be, though, Saints skipper Nick Riewoldt was unstoppable up forward while the Magpies didn’t have any clear route to goal. Towards the end the cameras flashed up shots of the Collingwood cheer squad leader “Joffa” looking totally despondent, followed by Magpie El Supremo Eddie McGuire looking similarly glum. This was greeted with a huge roar of applause from the pro-Saint gallery at Ainslie, as were shots of banished Pies Alan Didak and Heath Shaw sitting in the crowd in their suits. But the most miserable looking Magpies of all were two kids aged about six who were sitting with Eddie McGuire – evidently they’d won a competition of some kind with a prize of attending a final with the Collingwood President. If only they’d won it the previous week! For Pies fans it was a case of what might have been, if only Shaw and Didak had stuck to lemonade back in July. They’ll dine out over summer on being the only team to beat Geelong during the home and away season, but what a frustrating way to end the year.
And so to the Preliminary Finals, just four teams left with everything to play for. This time last year Geelong very nearly slipped up against Collingwood, and their fans were once again biting their nails as the Western Bulldogs took it right up to them. The Dogs dominated large stretches of play but their inability to convert opportunities into goals ultimately cost it dearly. The Cats never really dominated the match, but their finals experience really showed as they were able to soak up relentless Bulldog pressure before sweeping the ball to the other end and inevitably scoring another major. The eventual margin of 29 points was probably about right. Geelong advance to the Grand Final to defend their title, all over though for 2008 for the Doggies. The Bulldogs will rue their inaccurate kicking, but perhaps their major problem was that 2008 was simply not a great year to be a contender – in any other season the Dogs would have been a genuine chance, but this year they were clearly not in the top two. The Bullies are now the unwanted holders of the title both for longest premiership drought (since 1954) and longest wait to appear in a Grand Final (since 1961, although it should be noted that the Fremantle Dockers are yet to appear in a Grand Final and almost certainly never will.) So 2008 will join 1998, 1997, 1992 and 1985 in the Bulldog pantheon of lost preliminary final years.
And so to the penultimate match of 2008, the preliminary final between Hawthorn and St Kilda. The last time these two sides met it was the Saints who prevailed, coming back after being well behind at half time. And they were once more well behind at half time in this match, but there were to be no repeats of their earlier heroics. Although Buddy Franklin had a rare shocker after his blitzkrieg performance in week one of the finals, the Hawks had an army of battlers willing to step up in his stead. The forgotten man of the Hawks’ forward line, “The Other” Mark Williams, booted five, while Franklin’s straight man Jarryd (Jared? Jarred?) Roughead got four. Spiritual leader Luke Hodge was inspirational, remaining on the ground after having his ribs crunched and spitting blood in a manner reminiscent of Hawks legends Dipper and Dermie in the ’89 Grand Final. And Chance Bateman’s wild beribboned locks may make him look like a hybrid of Boy George from Culture Club circa 1984 and the Paddlepop Lion, but he can play. Just as well.
With the final result not in doubt after half time, the Saints’ attention turned to the fact that game 383 was going to be it for Old Father Time Robert Harvey. With his departure an era has finally ended – Harvey was the last remaining VFL player and the last left from the 1980s. An amazing achievement of longevity, tarnished only by the lack of premiership success. At least Harvey did get to play in a Grand Final back in ’97, the year he won the first of his back to back Brownlow Medals. But in recent years the Saints’ record in Preliminary Finals has rivalled that of the Bulldogs, with this year’s loss going alongside those of 2004 and 2005. 1966 must seem a very long time ago to the red, white and black brigade.
And so, after 25 weeks and who knows how many games, the 2008 season has come down to one fixture, and it’s the one we wanted. The reigning champs, Geelong, versus the worthy challengers, Hawthorn. Last time these two sides met in a Grand Final it was a modern day classic. Can they do it again? Let’s hope so. See you back here after the Grand Final for a comprehensive Wrap of the big day, plus a bit on the Brownlow if I get around to it. My tip- Geelong by 6 points, Buddy for Norm Smith.
12 September 2008
Finals Week One: The Inexplicably Naked Wrap
Finals time! And the excitement was palpable, right across the big brown land. Well, maybe not quite so much this year in Western Australia, given the lamentability of both of their representatives. And Queenslanders were a little bit iffy. But South Australians (barring those of the Port persuasion) were abuzz, Victorians were like kids on Christmas Eve awaiting Santa Claus' arrival with a bottle of beer and a glass of milk for Rudolph, and New South Welshmen...well, evidently somebody forgot to tell the citizens of New South Wales that the finals had begun, and, what's more, that they were actually hosting one. Perhaps their attention was diverted by the stunning implosion of their state government, although the resignation of their police minister two and a half days into his term for dancing in his underpants Mick Molloy-style didn't happen until later in the week. Who knows. Fortunately there was more than enough excitement in the remaining states and territories to make up for the apathy of the Premier State (with its brand-new ex-garbo Premier), and nowhere more so than in the nation's capital. Hollowmen, spooks, pencil-pushers and fireworks retailers one and all could talk of nothing else in the days leading up to the weekend, and yours truly was anything but immune. I could only have been more excited if Essendon had somehow contrived to be involved. Maybe next year. Probably not. At least I was able to relive the glorious days of yore through an encore screening of "Bomber Blitz", in which the Almost Invincibles of 2000 laid waste to the rest of the competition like the Roman Empire conquering the known world (apart from one small village of indomitable Bulldogs).
No team has been as successful as the Almost Invincibles until Geelong this year. But there are a couple of important differences between the two sides. First, Essendon in 2000 not only won the premiership but also took home the preseason Sponsor’s Product Cup. Geelong couldn’t manage that in 2008. Second, the Bombers’ sole loss was in a gritty nailbiter against a team which flooded for dear life. The Cats, on the other hand, got blown off the park by a team which tackled for dear life. Third, Essendon had no genuine rivals in 2000 – Carlton, which had played spoiler the previous year and posed during the 2000 season as a potential threat, fell over in week one of the finals and didn’t make it to the Grand Final. Geelong, on the other hand, has a genuine challenger in Hawthorn. A Cats flag this year may still be the most likely outcome, but it is anything but a certainty.
The Hawks were the first team out of the blocks in the 2008 finals series, with their long-awaited bout against the Western Bulldogs taking place at the MCG on the Friday night in front of a bumper crowd. After all of the attention Buddy Franklin had gotten after reaching his ton the previous week, many had wondered how exactly the Bulldogs would be able to stop him running amok. It proved, like the sound of one hand clapping as a tree falls in a forest, to be an unanswerable question. Buddy dominated this final like few before him; booting eight goals, giving away three fifty-metre penalties, and drawing a declaration from normally unimpressible ex-Lions coach Leigh Matthews that he “must be from another planet”. The Dogs never looked a chance and were duly defeated by 51 points. A fair bit of re-jigging to do for them before their next final, but all smiles at Glenferrie as the Hawks booked themselves a week off.
Saturday afternoon bloomed beautifully in Canberra, so it was with some regrets that I spent it indoors watching Adelaide play Collingwood in the first elimination final. In the good company of my Magpie brother-in-law and my one and only Crows buddy, the salubrious surrounds of Eastlakes Footy Club proved a fine venue for probably the best of the weekend’s finals encounters. The crowd at Footy Park was a tad disappointing, given that this was guaranteed to be the only final played in Adelaide in 2008 the AFL would probably have hoped for more than the 37, 685 who showed up. Perhaps Crows supporters were still in shock after the Saints had committed daylight robbery the previous week and taken fourth place from them. Certainly the Crows players looked shell-shocked in the first quarter as the Pies leapt from the blocks and opened up a convincing early lead. However the second quarter proved a reverse mirror image of the first, as the Crows lifted their intensity and piled on seven goals for the quarter to go in at half-time 12 points up.
At this stage it became apparent to the three of us that an advertisement for a certain Canberra carpet emporium that had played repeatedly during the first half could no longer be ignored. It should be noted that the background noise of patrons and pokies prevented us from clearly hearing the dialogue. The ad featured an animated couple speaking with a fairly harried-looking salesman, requesting a carpet impervious to the rigours of two preteen boys (who promptly appeared, one pouring a bottle of tomato sauce over the other). We’d all seen this ad before, so far nothing out of the ordinary. However, at this point in the ad the salesman’s eyes swung abruptly to the right as if he was on parade, and a naked gentleman swung into view (mercifully from the back), with hands nowhere to be seen and his whole body shaking as though he was operating a jackhammer. What in God’s name was this? Was it a poorly conceived attempt by the advertisers to provide a practical indication of the robust stain-proof quality of the carpets? Or was this the work of a disgruntled ex-employee, who’d stayed up many nights plotting his revenge through the medium of manga? Whatever the case, it didn’t look like something that should have been going to air on a Saturday afternoon. We had visions of the Channel Ten Canberra switchboard melting as hordes of infuriated bureaucrats registered their umbrage, and the ad subsequently failed to appear for the remainder of the match. Later that weekend I managed to see the ad complete with sound, and it emerged that the man was in fact shivering with cold, and wanting to buy a warm carpet. Fair enough, Canberra does experience pretty cold winters. But three fairly obvious questions remain unanswered: 1) why was the guy naked in the first place? 2) why, once he found himself devoid of clothing, was his first retail destination a carpet shop rather than, say, somewhere selling pants?! And 3) how was he proposing to pay for the carpet? He didn’t appear to be carrying a wallet, and if he was in possession of a credit card I for one don’t want to know where he was planning on swiping it. Valid questions all, along with the small matter of who in their right mind approved the ad to go to air. I will follow up this matter, and advise in due course.
While players from both sides were unaware of the scandalous product going to air in the nation’s capital, they were aware that they had one half of football left in which to ensure that their 2008 season remained alive. With only one team able to progress, a massive effort was required. And it was Collingwood who were able to prevail, first putting through seven third quarter goals to reclaim the lead, and then holding the Crows at bay with a further five in the last. A fantastic interstate win for the Magpies, and a great recovery from their bitterly disappointing Round 22 loss to Fremantle. But a shattering exit for Adelaide, who had fourth place and the double chance all sewn up last week until the Saints came along and nicked it.
To Saturday night, and the real talking point of Week One of the finals – the absolutely abysmal turn-up at the Sydney-North Melbourne elimination final. If the AFL were a tad disappointed at the attendance in Adelaide, they would have been guttered to see just 19,127 people bothering to show up at Homebush in Sydney’s west for a sudden death final between two fairly decent teams. There were a couple of mollifying factors, however. First, it was raining and Sydney folk don’t like going out when it’s wet. Second, Homebush is miles from anywhere, particularly nice bars and restaurants to go to after the Swanees play. Third, North Melbourne couldn’t draw a crowd if they were equipped with a full painter’s easel and the talent of Da Vinci. And fourth, while promotion for the game was completely non-existent in the lead-up, curiously ads for it ran in both Sydney and Canberra for a day or so after it had been played. The old time-space continuum strikes again! All of this contributed to the lowest finals crowd since 1902, when spats and hats were the go for the stylish supporter and most spectators arrived at the ground by dray. The ragged handful of fans who did make it to the game were treated to a hard fought encounter. Kangaroos burst out of the blocks early, with the first four goals of the match. However the Swans were able to peg them back and hit the front early in the third quarter, before running away with the game with thirteen goals to five after halftime. Supporters of North, who just a fortnight earlier had been pegged as a genuine premiership threat, must have been left spinning by their side’s blistering quick exit from the finals race. Certainly that Round 22 loss to Port Adelaide will go down as one of the most expensive home and away defeats in history. But all good for Sydney, who managed to defy the doubters for another week.
One game left to complete the first week of the finals, and it was the Qualifying Final between reigning champs Geelong and the last team left standing in fourth spot St Kilda. Nobody really gave the Saints much chance of beating the Cats, and it wasn’t any great surprise that Geelong were able to clinch a 58 point win without needing to get out of third gear. The game was competitive early in each of the first three quarters, but Geelong was able to dominate the later stages and only bad kicking kept them from establishing an unassailable lead by halftime. However they blew St Kilda away in the third quarter with nine goals to two – one of the goals being a gift from feisty Saint Steven Milne who ill-advisedly whacked a celebrating Cat right in front the umpire after a goal had gone through, thereby giving away a free kick directly in front. Too easy for Geelong after that, with only two sour notes coming from the match. The first was the loss of youngster Brent Prismall with a serious knee injury which will keep him off the field well into 2009, unfortunate as he had only just established himself in a super competitive side. The second was a bit of unpleasant after the siren conversation between Old Father Time Robert Harvey and Geelong’s Craig Lowndes-lookalike Matthew Scarlett, although nobody would elaborate on what the topic of discussion actually was. Quite possibly just how much Matthew Scarlett looks like Craig Lowndes with a bad wig. So a week off for the Cats, the Saints back into the pack to fight another day.
I’m aware that the Wrap is off on its own time-space continuum, with this week’s results going in after next week’s matches have already been played. So do please exercise some willing suspension of disbelief while reading, and imagine that the weekend just gone hasn’t actually happened yet. It will be a far more enjoyable read I’m sure. Until next week, please keep in mind if you're going out shopping that most stores and businesses do prefer their clientele to be fully dressed (although apparently not in Canberra) and see you back here for Week Two.
No team has been as successful as the Almost Invincibles until Geelong this year. But there are a couple of important differences between the two sides. First, Essendon in 2000 not only won the premiership but also took home the preseason Sponsor’s Product Cup. Geelong couldn’t manage that in 2008. Second, the Bombers’ sole loss was in a gritty nailbiter against a team which flooded for dear life. The Cats, on the other hand, got blown off the park by a team which tackled for dear life. Third, Essendon had no genuine rivals in 2000 – Carlton, which had played spoiler the previous year and posed during the 2000 season as a potential threat, fell over in week one of the finals and didn’t make it to the Grand Final. Geelong, on the other hand, has a genuine challenger in Hawthorn. A Cats flag this year may still be the most likely outcome, but it is anything but a certainty.
The Hawks were the first team out of the blocks in the 2008 finals series, with their long-awaited bout against the Western Bulldogs taking place at the MCG on the Friday night in front of a bumper crowd. After all of the attention Buddy Franklin had gotten after reaching his ton the previous week, many had wondered how exactly the Bulldogs would be able to stop him running amok. It proved, like the sound of one hand clapping as a tree falls in a forest, to be an unanswerable question. Buddy dominated this final like few before him; booting eight goals, giving away three fifty-metre penalties, and drawing a declaration from normally unimpressible ex-Lions coach Leigh Matthews that he “must be from another planet”. The Dogs never looked a chance and were duly defeated by 51 points. A fair bit of re-jigging to do for them before their next final, but all smiles at Glenferrie as the Hawks booked themselves a week off.
Saturday afternoon bloomed beautifully in Canberra, so it was with some regrets that I spent it indoors watching Adelaide play Collingwood in the first elimination final. In the good company of my Magpie brother-in-law and my one and only Crows buddy, the salubrious surrounds of Eastlakes Footy Club proved a fine venue for probably the best of the weekend’s finals encounters. The crowd at Footy Park was a tad disappointing, given that this was guaranteed to be the only final played in Adelaide in 2008 the AFL would probably have hoped for more than the 37, 685 who showed up. Perhaps Crows supporters were still in shock after the Saints had committed daylight robbery the previous week and taken fourth place from them. Certainly the Crows players looked shell-shocked in the first quarter as the Pies leapt from the blocks and opened up a convincing early lead. However the second quarter proved a reverse mirror image of the first, as the Crows lifted their intensity and piled on seven goals for the quarter to go in at half-time 12 points up.
At this stage it became apparent to the three of us that an advertisement for a certain Canberra carpet emporium that had played repeatedly during the first half could no longer be ignored. It should be noted that the background noise of patrons and pokies prevented us from clearly hearing the dialogue. The ad featured an animated couple speaking with a fairly harried-looking salesman, requesting a carpet impervious to the rigours of two preteen boys (who promptly appeared, one pouring a bottle of tomato sauce over the other). We’d all seen this ad before, so far nothing out of the ordinary. However, at this point in the ad the salesman’s eyes swung abruptly to the right as if he was on parade, and a naked gentleman swung into view (mercifully from the back), with hands nowhere to be seen and his whole body shaking as though he was operating a jackhammer. What in God’s name was this? Was it a poorly conceived attempt by the advertisers to provide a practical indication of the robust stain-proof quality of the carpets? Or was this the work of a disgruntled ex-employee, who’d stayed up many nights plotting his revenge through the medium of manga? Whatever the case, it didn’t look like something that should have been going to air on a Saturday afternoon. We had visions of the Channel Ten Canberra switchboard melting as hordes of infuriated bureaucrats registered their umbrage, and the ad subsequently failed to appear for the remainder of the match. Later that weekend I managed to see the ad complete with sound, and it emerged that the man was in fact shivering with cold, and wanting to buy a warm carpet. Fair enough, Canberra does experience pretty cold winters. But three fairly obvious questions remain unanswered: 1) why was the guy naked in the first place? 2) why, once he found himself devoid of clothing, was his first retail destination a carpet shop rather than, say, somewhere selling pants?! And 3) how was he proposing to pay for the carpet? He didn’t appear to be carrying a wallet, and if he was in possession of a credit card I for one don’t want to know where he was planning on swiping it. Valid questions all, along with the small matter of who in their right mind approved the ad to go to air. I will follow up this matter, and advise in due course.
While players from both sides were unaware of the scandalous product going to air in the nation’s capital, they were aware that they had one half of football left in which to ensure that their 2008 season remained alive. With only one team able to progress, a massive effort was required. And it was Collingwood who were able to prevail, first putting through seven third quarter goals to reclaim the lead, and then holding the Crows at bay with a further five in the last. A fantastic interstate win for the Magpies, and a great recovery from their bitterly disappointing Round 22 loss to Fremantle. But a shattering exit for Adelaide, who had fourth place and the double chance all sewn up last week until the Saints came along and nicked it.
To Saturday night, and the real talking point of Week One of the finals – the absolutely abysmal turn-up at the Sydney-North Melbourne elimination final. If the AFL were a tad disappointed at the attendance in Adelaide, they would have been guttered to see just 19,127 people bothering to show up at Homebush in Sydney’s west for a sudden death final between two fairly decent teams. There were a couple of mollifying factors, however. First, it was raining and Sydney folk don’t like going out when it’s wet. Second, Homebush is miles from anywhere, particularly nice bars and restaurants to go to after the Swanees play. Third, North Melbourne couldn’t draw a crowd if they were equipped with a full painter’s easel and the talent of Da Vinci. And fourth, while promotion for the game was completely non-existent in the lead-up, curiously ads for it ran in both Sydney and Canberra for a day or so after it had been played. The old time-space continuum strikes again! All of this contributed to the lowest finals crowd since 1902, when spats and hats were the go for the stylish supporter and most spectators arrived at the ground by dray. The ragged handful of fans who did make it to the game were treated to a hard fought encounter. Kangaroos burst out of the blocks early, with the first four goals of the match. However the Swans were able to peg them back and hit the front early in the third quarter, before running away with the game with thirteen goals to five after halftime. Supporters of North, who just a fortnight earlier had been pegged as a genuine premiership threat, must have been left spinning by their side’s blistering quick exit from the finals race. Certainly that Round 22 loss to Port Adelaide will go down as one of the most expensive home and away defeats in history. But all good for Sydney, who managed to defy the doubters for another week.
One game left to complete the first week of the finals, and it was the Qualifying Final between reigning champs Geelong and the last team left standing in fourth spot St Kilda. Nobody really gave the Saints much chance of beating the Cats, and it wasn’t any great surprise that Geelong were able to clinch a 58 point win without needing to get out of third gear. The game was competitive early in each of the first three quarters, but Geelong was able to dominate the later stages and only bad kicking kept them from establishing an unassailable lead by halftime. However they blew St Kilda away in the third quarter with nine goals to two – one of the goals being a gift from feisty Saint Steven Milne who ill-advisedly whacked a celebrating Cat right in front the umpire after a goal had gone through, thereby giving away a free kick directly in front. Too easy for Geelong after that, with only two sour notes coming from the match. The first was the loss of youngster Brent Prismall with a serious knee injury which will keep him off the field well into 2009, unfortunate as he had only just established himself in a super competitive side. The second was a bit of unpleasant after the siren conversation between Old Father Time Robert Harvey and Geelong’s Craig Lowndes-lookalike Matthew Scarlett, although nobody would elaborate on what the topic of discussion actually was. Quite possibly just how much Matthew Scarlett looks like Craig Lowndes with a bad wig. So a week off for the Cats, the Saints back into the pack to fight another day.
I’m aware that the Wrap is off on its own time-space continuum, with this week’s results going in after next week’s matches have already been played. So do please exercise some willing suspension of disbelief while reading, and imagine that the weekend just gone hasn’t actually happened yet. It will be a far more enjoyable read I’m sure. Until next week, please keep in mind if you're going out shopping that most stores and businesses do prefer their clientele to be fully dressed (although apparently not in Canberra) and see you back here for Week Two.
05 September 2008
Round Twenty-Two: The Final Stanza
The demeanours of AFL fans arriving for work on the Monday following the unbelievably tumultuous Round 22 were somewhat disparate, depending on the fortunes of the club to which their emotions were tied. Cats supporters wore a now familiar expression of smugness blended with expectation, with only a small side serving of trepidation. Hawks supporters too were overwhelmingly positive, although perhaps just mildly more trepidatious than their Sleepy Hollow cousins. Bulldogs fans had an air of righteously aggrieved disgruntlement; the Crows faithful looked like they’d purchased a winning lottery ticket but seen it blow out of their hands and out of sight around a corner; Saints supporters looked like they’d wandered innocently onto said winning lottery ticket; and the barrackers of the Kangaroos and Magpies looked like they’d spotted the winning lottery ticket from across the street, but had been run down by a cement truck whilst crossing the street to pick it up.
Swans fans wore a new found air of confidence; supporters of the Tigers, Power and Dockers looked like survivors at the end of a zombie movie, emerging blinking into the sunlight after a very long night; Bombers, Blues and Lions' supporters looked as though they too had survived a long night, only to emerge blinking into a solar eclipse; and the few remaining unfortunates still waving a tattered flag for the Eagles and Demons just looked relieved that the whole miserable affair was at long last over.
The round kicked off over in the west, where the Dockers hosted the Magpies in a rare Collingwood foray away from the MCG. The late season Magpie resurgence had put them in the position of being a contender for the last final four spot and accompanying double chance, provided they could beat the Dockers and other results went their way. But it wasn't to be. The Pies chose the worst time possible to produce their feeblest showing for 2008, never in the match and duly beaten by a far more committed Dockers side. Freo fans must have been wondering what might have been if their team hadn't blown so many close games earlier in the season. With a massive outflux of senior players- joined by ex-Don Mark Johnson, ex-Port premiership player Josh Carr and troubled genius the Wiz Jeff Farmer- and with Rising Star winner Ryan Crowley on board, perhaps youth is the way forward for Fremantle. Surely after fourteen pretty abysmal years they'll get their act together sooner or later.
Collingwood's Friday night capitulation opened the door for North Melbourne to sew up fourth spot on the Saturday afternoon, provided they could account at home for a Port side which had massively underachieved in 2008. But, in another massive upset ,the Kangaroos folded like a cheap Taiwanese umbrella and got absolutely belted. Any unread observer wandering into the MCG would have leapt to the conclusion that the gentlemen in teal had everything to play for, while those in the blue and white stripes had one eye already on their Mad Monday festivities. A hugely disappointing way for Roos stalwart Shannon Grant to bring up his 300th, and coach Dean Laidley duly offered an apology to the Grant clan and North supporters in general. Port fans will hope that their 2009 follows on from their last performance in 2008, after their 2008 never recovered from their last performance in 2007.
Anyone with a spare $10,000 was given the opportunity to turn it into $10,100, easy as pie. All they had to do was put the lot on Geelong to beat West Coast at Kardinia Park. Given that the Cats had given the Eagles the mother of all shellackings over at Subiaco earlier in the season, this was as close to a sure bet as is possible in a two horse race. And so it duly proved, with the Cats ultimately triumphant by 99 points to equal Essendon's 2000 record of 21 wins out of 22 home and away matches. There were a few nervous moments for the big punters early, with the Eagles matching the Cats in the first quarter, but 20 goals to six after quarter time soon quelled nerves. The Eagles have shocked many by their plummet from 2006 premiers to 2008 godawful rabble, but with a priority pick coming and most of their off-field troubles seemingly behind them they're sure to bounce back next year.
A twilight game in the mud of Adelaide followed. While the Western Bulldogs were keen to go into the finals with consecutive wins, the failures of Collingwood and North gave Adelaide the opportunity to leapfrog them into fourth spot. And after a hard-fought struggle the Crows emerged triumphant by nine points, to the joy of their loyal supporters. The game's major talking point came in the third quarter, when a soccered goal was awarded to Crow Jason Porplyzia after a scramble in the goalsquare. The decision was greeted with apoplexy by colourful Bulldog Jason Akermanis, who performed an impromptu haka on the spot in an attempt to have the call overturned. The replay showed the reason for Aka's fury- he had clearly punched the ball through by hand. But the decision stood, and the Crows hung on to take the points and, seemingly, the double chance.
A huge crowd packed Telstra Dome on the Saturday night, not in expectation of a classic contest between the high-flying Hawks and the already also-run Blues, but in hopeful anticipation that one or both of Lance "Buddy" Franklin or Brendan "The Urinator" Fevola would bring up the first century of goals in a home and away season since the glory days of the 1990s (although Matthew Lloyd did twice manage the feat during the finals). A stern warning was issued in the days leading up to the match that any spectator daring to run onto the ground once the ton was reached would be heavily fined, banned from Telstra Dome for the term of their natural lives, and possibly forced to listen to Aka complain about his unrecognised punch. So it was no surprise to anyone that, within seconds of Buddy slotting through his ton late in the first quarter, the Telstra Dome pitch resembled Glastonbury at Festival time. Hordes of Hawks and bevvies of Blues flooded the ground, eager to pat Buddy on the back for a job well done. It took about a month or so to clear the ground, after which the Hawks were untroubled in racking up a comfortable 13 goal win. And the bloke at the other end? Well, he went goalless in the first half but then caught fire in the second, booting seven goals to bring him up to 99. But sadly that was as far as he got, with the Hawks' defence able to keep the ball from him in the final stages. At least Fev was able to drown his sorrows on the Mad Monday following. With his usual class Fev caused talkback consternation by appearing in Federation Square three sheets to the wind, clad in a pink nightie and with a sizeble "marital aid" emerging from his pants. All things considered, it probably would have been more appropriate if big Fev had worn said item on his head. But kudos to him for going so close to the ton, next year maybe.
One more game to complete a full Saturday program, and the league's northern outpost sides did battle at the SCG. While the previous weekend's results had rendered the result of this match immaterial, the Swans were keen to go into the finals on a winning note and duly did so, recording a ten goal win. The Lions looked tired and dispirited at the end of a season which had promised a great deal but wound up delivering very little. One Lion who had had enough was coach Leigh Matthews, who wound up his glorious reign in Brisbane ten years, four Grand Finals and three premierships later. At the same press conference the Lions main gun Jonathan Brown announced that he would be staying on at the club, after earlier seeming inclined to depart. Within 48 hours football's own Runaway Bride, former Lions skipper Michael Voss, had added the West Coast Eagles to Carlton, Essendon and the Gold Coast as clubs he'd stood up, instead accepting the Lions coaching spot. So a changing of the guard up north, we'll see how they get on without the great Lethal at the helm.
Two games on Sunday to complete Round 22, and the first had a bit of a wake atmosphere about it as the confirmed also rans of Richmond and Melbourne did battle. And although both sides have gotten September off, the on-field future for the Tiges looks a hell of a lot better than does that of the Dees after Richmond handed out an 80 point mauling. Still, the number one draft pick beckons for Melbourne, let's hope they use it wisely because they need all of the talent they can get.
And so to the final stanza of a round of pure poetry, Essendon versus St Kilda. Going into the match the Saints were reasonably sure of securing a home final, but required a most unlikely 95 point victory to steal fourth spot. Crows fans still maintaining a warm inner glow from the previous night's heroics would have felt only a trifle nervous at three quarter time with the Saints up by 61 points. But as the St Kilda goals started to rain down in the final term the Adelaide faithful would have joining their red and black brethren in exhorting the Bombers to pull their fingers out and show some resistance. But to no avail. Essendon was absolutely pathetic and unable to stem the tide as the Saints raced past the required 95 point mark and instead posted a record victory against Essendon of 108 points. A magnificent achievement by St Kilda, a massively disappointing end for a very mixed season for Essendon. Let's hope that in the off-season the Bombers brains trust turns its attentions to figuring out how to keep players fit, healthy and out on the field after 2008 broke all records for injuries.
Eight teams now eliminated, eight still in the race for the title. But can anyone stop Geelong or, to a lesser extent, Hawthorn? September 2008 will provide all of the answers and it promises to be an absolute belter. While the AFL's slogan for the finals, "History Is Coming", may break rules of grammar and possibly cause yet another tear in the time/space continuum, the sentiment it conveys is undoubtedly an exciting one for AFL fans of all loyalties. We shall watch with great interest.
Just time for news of our seventeenth team, the soon to appear Gold Coast outfit. And, after months of feverish speculation as to what nickname the side would adopt, it was announced that they would be known as the Gold Coast......Football Club. Yes, no nickname. Evidently the Gold Coast folks recognised that the list of suggested monikers they had provided really were quite abysmal. Although I will still be thinking of them as the Brandos. They did unveil their mascot however, one Gary Clifford Irons. As seen here, the jumper's not too bad but I for one hope that the actual shorts worn by the players will be slightly less Warwick Capperesque than those worn by Mr Irons- http://gc17.com.au/index.php?id=12&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=65&tx_ttnews[backPid]=11&cHash=0da7247434
Swans fans wore a new found air of confidence; supporters of the Tigers, Power and Dockers looked like survivors at the end of a zombie movie, emerging blinking into the sunlight after a very long night; Bombers, Blues and Lions' supporters looked as though they too had survived a long night, only to emerge blinking into a solar eclipse; and the few remaining unfortunates still waving a tattered flag for the Eagles and Demons just looked relieved that the whole miserable affair was at long last over.
The round kicked off over in the west, where the Dockers hosted the Magpies in a rare Collingwood foray away from the MCG. The late season Magpie resurgence had put them in the position of being a contender for the last final four spot and accompanying double chance, provided they could beat the Dockers and other results went their way. But it wasn't to be. The Pies chose the worst time possible to produce their feeblest showing for 2008, never in the match and duly beaten by a far more committed Dockers side. Freo fans must have been wondering what might have been if their team hadn't blown so many close games earlier in the season. With a massive outflux of senior players- joined by ex-Don Mark Johnson, ex-Port premiership player Josh Carr and troubled genius the Wiz Jeff Farmer- and with Rising Star winner Ryan Crowley on board, perhaps youth is the way forward for Fremantle. Surely after fourteen pretty abysmal years they'll get their act together sooner or later.
Collingwood's Friday night capitulation opened the door for North Melbourne to sew up fourth spot on the Saturday afternoon, provided they could account at home for a Port side which had massively underachieved in 2008. But, in another massive upset ,the Kangaroos folded like a cheap Taiwanese umbrella and got absolutely belted. Any unread observer wandering into the MCG would have leapt to the conclusion that the gentlemen in teal had everything to play for, while those in the blue and white stripes had one eye already on their Mad Monday festivities. A hugely disappointing way for Roos stalwart Shannon Grant to bring up his 300th, and coach Dean Laidley duly offered an apology to the Grant clan and North supporters in general. Port fans will hope that their 2009 follows on from their last performance in 2008, after their 2008 never recovered from their last performance in 2007.
Anyone with a spare $10,000 was given the opportunity to turn it into $10,100, easy as pie. All they had to do was put the lot on Geelong to beat West Coast at Kardinia Park. Given that the Cats had given the Eagles the mother of all shellackings over at Subiaco earlier in the season, this was as close to a sure bet as is possible in a two horse race. And so it duly proved, with the Cats ultimately triumphant by 99 points to equal Essendon's 2000 record of 21 wins out of 22 home and away matches. There were a few nervous moments for the big punters early, with the Eagles matching the Cats in the first quarter, but 20 goals to six after quarter time soon quelled nerves. The Eagles have shocked many by their plummet from 2006 premiers to 2008 godawful rabble, but with a priority pick coming and most of their off-field troubles seemingly behind them they're sure to bounce back next year.
A twilight game in the mud of Adelaide followed. While the Western Bulldogs were keen to go into the finals with consecutive wins, the failures of Collingwood and North gave Adelaide the opportunity to leapfrog them into fourth spot. And after a hard-fought struggle the Crows emerged triumphant by nine points, to the joy of their loyal supporters. The game's major talking point came in the third quarter, when a soccered goal was awarded to Crow Jason Porplyzia after a scramble in the goalsquare. The decision was greeted with apoplexy by colourful Bulldog Jason Akermanis, who performed an impromptu haka on the spot in an attempt to have the call overturned. The replay showed the reason for Aka's fury- he had clearly punched the ball through by hand. But the decision stood, and the Crows hung on to take the points and, seemingly, the double chance.
A huge crowd packed Telstra Dome on the Saturday night, not in expectation of a classic contest between the high-flying Hawks and the already also-run Blues, but in hopeful anticipation that one or both of Lance "Buddy" Franklin or Brendan "The Urinator" Fevola would bring up the first century of goals in a home and away season since the glory days of the 1990s (although Matthew Lloyd did twice manage the feat during the finals). A stern warning was issued in the days leading up to the match that any spectator daring to run onto the ground once the ton was reached would be heavily fined, banned from Telstra Dome for the term of their natural lives, and possibly forced to listen to Aka complain about his unrecognised punch. So it was no surprise to anyone that, within seconds of Buddy slotting through his ton late in the first quarter, the Telstra Dome pitch resembled Glastonbury at Festival time. Hordes of Hawks and bevvies of Blues flooded the ground, eager to pat Buddy on the back for a job well done. It took about a month or so to clear the ground, after which the Hawks were untroubled in racking up a comfortable 13 goal win. And the bloke at the other end? Well, he went goalless in the first half but then caught fire in the second, booting seven goals to bring him up to 99. But sadly that was as far as he got, with the Hawks' defence able to keep the ball from him in the final stages. At least Fev was able to drown his sorrows on the Mad Monday following. With his usual class Fev caused talkback consternation by appearing in Federation Square three sheets to the wind, clad in a pink nightie and with a sizeble "marital aid" emerging from his pants. All things considered, it probably would have been more appropriate if big Fev had worn said item on his head. But kudos to him for going so close to the ton, next year maybe.
One more game to complete a full Saturday program, and the league's northern outpost sides did battle at the SCG. While the previous weekend's results had rendered the result of this match immaterial, the Swans were keen to go into the finals on a winning note and duly did so, recording a ten goal win. The Lions looked tired and dispirited at the end of a season which had promised a great deal but wound up delivering very little. One Lion who had had enough was coach Leigh Matthews, who wound up his glorious reign in Brisbane ten years, four Grand Finals and three premierships later. At the same press conference the Lions main gun Jonathan Brown announced that he would be staying on at the club, after earlier seeming inclined to depart. Within 48 hours football's own Runaway Bride, former Lions skipper Michael Voss, had added the West Coast Eagles to Carlton, Essendon and the Gold Coast as clubs he'd stood up, instead accepting the Lions coaching spot. So a changing of the guard up north, we'll see how they get on without the great Lethal at the helm.
Two games on Sunday to complete Round 22, and the first had a bit of a wake atmosphere about it as the confirmed also rans of Richmond and Melbourne did battle. And although both sides have gotten September off, the on-field future for the Tiges looks a hell of a lot better than does that of the Dees after Richmond handed out an 80 point mauling. Still, the number one draft pick beckons for Melbourne, let's hope they use it wisely because they need all of the talent they can get.
And so to the final stanza of a round of pure poetry, Essendon versus St Kilda. Going into the match the Saints were reasonably sure of securing a home final, but required a most unlikely 95 point victory to steal fourth spot. Crows fans still maintaining a warm inner glow from the previous night's heroics would have felt only a trifle nervous at three quarter time with the Saints up by 61 points. But as the St Kilda goals started to rain down in the final term the Adelaide faithful would have joining their red and black brethren in exhorting the Bombers to pull their fingers out and show some resistance. But to no avail. Essendon was absolutely pathetic and unable to stem the tide as the Saints raced past the required 95 point mark and instead posted a record victory against Essendon of 108 points. A magnificent achievement by St Kilda, a massively disappointing end for a very mixed season for Essendon. Let's hope that in the off-season the Bombers brains trust turns its attentions to figuring out how to keep players fit, healthy and out on the field after 2008 broke all records for injuries.
Eight teams now eliminated, eight still in the race for the title. But can anyone stop Geelong or, to a lesser extent, Hawthorn? September 2008 will provide all of the answers and it promises to be an absolute belter. While the AFL's slogan for the finals, "History Is Coming", may break rules of grammar and possibly cause yet another tear in the time/space continuum, the sentiment it conveys is undoubtedly an exciting one for AFL fans of all loyalties. We shall watch with great interest.
Just time for news of our seventeenth team, the soon to appear Gold Coast outfit. And, after months of feverish speculation as to what nickname the side would adopt, it was announced that they would be known as the Gold Coast......Football Club. Yes, no nickname. Evidently the Gold Coast folks recognised that the list of suggested monikers they had provided really were quite abysmal. Although I will still be thinking of them as the Brandos. They did unveil their mascot however, one Gary Clifford Irons. As seen here, the jumper's not too bad but I for one hope that the actual shorts worn by the players will be slightly less Warwick Capperesque than those worn by Mr Irons- http://gc17.com.au/index.php?id=12&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=65&tx_ttnews[backPid]=11&cHash=0da7247434
28 August 2008
Round Twenty-One: The Raging Torrent
Some excellent news from Bendigo this week - the Bendigo Bombers reserves not only managed to break their goal drought from the previous week, but were able to put through a grand total of five majors in their battle against the Werribee Tigers. Unfortunately the Tigers booted a lazy thirty goals in response, but as Confucius (or possibly Mick Malthouse) once said, even a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. The BB Magoos’ journey to becoming a competitive football side may well be in its embryonic stages. However the footballing journeys of many a champion AFL player (along with those of the odd hack) are reaching their conclusions in the final weeks of the 2008 season. The hitherto slow trickle of retirements/ delisting announcements has been transformed in recent days into a raging torrent across the league. A massive number of players are going to be running down the race with blurry eyes this weekend, although hopefully this won’t lead any of them to inadvertently run through the opposing side’s banner, huddle, sponsor or mascot.
While some sides, notably Fremantle, have sensibly spaced out their retirements so that every week a different retiree has been featured, other clubs have left it all to the last minute and will face the challenge this weekend of ensuring that there are enough shoulders available to carry off all those deserving of being carried off. For example, Essendon fans this weekend will bid farewell to three club favourites in Adam Ramanauskas, Jason Johnson and Damien Peverill, while another AFL legend in three-time Lions premiership player and latter day Bomber Mal Michael also wears the red and black for a final time. If I was on the Essendon player roster this weekend, I would be positioning myself well in advance of the final siren to ensure that when it sounded I was geared up to get my shoulder under the comparatively wiry figures of either Rama, Johnno or Pev. No disrespect intended to Big Mal, but whoever ends up having to cart his “traditionally built” figure off is going to be staggering about like those poor blokes who used to have to lug portly Gaullish chieftain Vitalstatistix around on his shield in the old Asterix cartoons. At least they’ll have September off to recover.
Those Bombers not on the ever-expanding injury list were in action in the first match of Round 21, up against the stuttering Bulldogs. I was at first outraged that this match was not being telecast live into the northern states – we were instead provided with some minor Olympic sport or other, possibly kayaking, possibly the hammerthrow - until it occurred to me that the game not being broadcast was possibly the most meaningless fixture of all time. Regardless of what happened on the field the Bombers would still be finishing in 12th position and the Bulldogs would still be playing Hawthorn in the first week of the finals. Once I had absorbed this truth a strange sense of calm and acceptance swept over me, no doubt like that experienced by a death row prisoner whose last appeal has just been rejected by the Governor. I was able to handle Essendon’s capitulation in the second and third quarters with the zen-like demeanour of a well-practiced monk. In the end the scoreline damage to Essendon wasn’t too bad, and the Dogs have gained some much needed form. So everyone’s a winner.
Sadly, that statement could not be recycled to describe the Saturday fixtures. Several of the teams running around looked anything like winners, Melbourne most prominent among them. Any confidence the Dees might have gained from the previous weekend’s rout of the tanking Eagles was soundly beaten out of them by the Power in front of yet another pitiful AAMI stadium crowd. Perhaps the Port fans too have been affected by the same calm acceptance that this simply isn’t their year, and watching their team play meaningless matches is not a necessary step on the road to fulfilment. Although no doubt those who did bother to turn up would have thoroughly enjoyed the 78 point shellacking of the very, very ordinary Demons.
With their finals hopes still alive, the Tigers’ management would have probably been hoping for a slightly larger turnout than the 25,000 who chose to spend their Saturday arvo at the MCG watching their side take on Freo. But again those who made the effort were rewarded, with a fingernail-chewing seven point victory keeping Tiger hopes alive while marking the umpteenth time in 2008 that the Dockers have fallen just short. The turning point in the match came when Freo’s problem child Jeff Farmer managed to give away a crucial free kick and fifty metre penalty which blew his side’s momentum, and which will probably end his career at the end of 2008 on 249 games- like his team, falling just short of the mark.
Another team keeping its finals hopes narrowly north of the flatline mark in Round 21 was Carlton, who got up over the plummeting Brisbane Lions by a single kick up at the Gabba in the best match of the round. This really was a most unusual game. First we had the Blues leaping out of the blocks in the first half to be three goals up at the long break. Then the Lions ran amok in the third quarter, booting nine goals to one and seemingly wrapping up the four points necessary to keep their own finals chances alive. But then the Blues turned the game on its head once more, keeping the Lions scoreless in the last and putting through six goals of their own to steal the points. Perhaps most inexplicable of all was the fact that of the eighteen goals kicked by the Navy Blues, just two were off the boot of the Urinator. Fev now requires eight goals next weekend to bring up the ton, an eventuality which just a few weeks ago looked like a dead cert but now looks just plain dead.
One team with reason to feel eternal gratitude to Carlton for their magnificent comeback win is the Sydney Swans, who were somehow guaranteed a finals spot by the Blues’ victory despite themselves crashing to yet another loss. Collingwood hold the wood over Sydney, having beaten them umpteen times in a row. They converted this wood into a four-by-two plank in the first quarter and proceeded to beat the Swans over the head with it, putting through eight goals and opening up a lead that the Sydneysiders never challenged. It’s a bit of a worrying time for Sydney. In recent years they’ve have kept making the finals without being a contender, perhaps not the greatest long-term strategy. Ask any Essendon fan whether they would have preferred not to have done likewise in the period 2002-4 if it meant less recruiting of journeymen from Carlton and more single figure draft picks, and you’ll probably get a reasonably vehement answer. It’s all looking cheery for the Magpies however, they’ll go into the finals with a great deal of confidence that they can prove that last year’s agonisingly close preliminary final was no fluke. Heath Shaw should chauffer Alan Didak every week!
A possible finals preview took place on the Sunday, with Geelong hosting North Melbourne down at Sleepy Hollow. This was a match which would have given the Roos some indication of how far they had come since the Cats had belted them in the first week of the 2007 finals. And while North can take some satisfaction in the fact that they have come a long way since that debacle, they are still a fair way behind Geelong. Mind you, so is every other club in the competition just now. The Kangaroos were able to take this game right up to Geelong in the early stages, but a 20 minute burst in the second term produced seven Cat goals and basically ended the match as a contest. All good news down at the Cattery, they could probably play the diminuitive Matthew Stokes in the ruck and win right now the way they're going. At least they could if he wasn't out of the side due to "general soreness", which if I'm not mistaken was also the name of one of the villains in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.
Two games to go, and at Telstra Dome all eyes were on Old Man Harvey, who was honoured in his final "home" game (the Saints are the away team at Telstra Dome this weekend) by the unveiling of a giant 35 banner and the attendance of over 200 of his former teammates. With so much former Saint star power on display, it was perhaps not surprising that the current crop were distracted and missed the start. The Crows shot away to an early lead before the Saints realised they were in a game, but 12 Saint goals to 3 in the last three quarters ensured a St Kilda victory and a fitting conclusion to a big day for one of their all time legends. The Saints win meant that the previous night's heroics by Carlton, and Richmond's gallant win over Freo, were all for naught - the final eight was now set in stone.
Over in the West many had thought that Round 21 might be the occasion for star forward Lance Franklin to get his century, including several members of the Franklin clan who flew in specially for the big event. Buddy needed six majors to chalk up the ton, but unfortunately was only able to find four on the day. Not that it mattered, the Hawks were untroubled in racking up a 71 point win and now far more Hawk fans will have the chance to be present as he tries again this weekend. But should fans run onto the ground when (and if, knowing Buddy's erratic kicking record) he does kick his 100th? Yes, says Plugger Lockett, no stranger himself to kicking big scores. No says the Telstra Dome management and the AFL. My guess is it won't matter how many extra security guards they hire, they'll still get a fullscale ground invasion this weekend coming.
But all of that still lies ahead. Casting eyes back on the round just gone, we see that Round 21 proved decisive in a number of ways, but most notably in locking the door on the final eight for 2008. For half the teams in the AFL 2008 will be officially consigned to history following Round 22. But the other half still have much to play for - just who is going to get smashed by Geelong in the Grand Final this year? Will Buddy get his ton, and how many ground invaders will be banned for life if he does? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves be prevailed upon to provide coolie labour to carry off Big Mal Michael? As ever we'll be belatedly on the scene to wrap up all of the big stories from Round 22, see you back here in a week's time.
While some sides, notably Fremantle, have sensibly spaced out their retirements so that every week a different retiree has been featured, other clubs have left it all to the last minute and will face the challenge this weekend of ensuring that there are enough shoulders available to carry off all those deserving of being carried off. For example, Essendon fans this weekend will bid farewell to three club favourites in Adam Ramanauskas, Jason Johnson and Damien Peverill, while another AFL legend in three-time Lions premiership player and latter day Bomber Mal Michael also wears the red and black for a final time. If I was on the Essendon player roster this weekend, I would be positioning myself well in advance of the final siren to ensure that when it sounded I was geared up to get my shoulder under the comparatively wiry figures of either Rama, Johnno or Pev. No disrespect intended to Big Mal, but whoever ends up having to cart his “traditionally built” figure off is going to be staggering about like those poor blokes who used to have to lug portly Gaullish chieftain Vitalstatistix around on his shield in the old Asterix cartoons. At least they’ll have September off to recover.
Those Bombers not on the ever-expanding injury list were in action in the first match of Round 21, up against the stuttering Bulldogs. I was at first outraged that this match was not being telecast live into the northern states – we were instead provided with some minor Olympic sport or other, possibly kayaking, possibly the hammerthrow - until it occurred to me that the game not being broadcast was possibly the most meaningless fixture of all time. Regardless of what happened on the field the Bombers would still be finishing in 12th position and the Bulldogs would still be playing Hawthorn in the first week of the finals. Once I had absorbed this truth a strange sense of calm and acceptance swept over me, no doubt like that experienced by a death row prisoner whose last appeal has just been rejected by the Governor. I was able to handle Essendon’s capitulation in the second and third quarters with the zen-like demeanour of a well-practiced monk. In the end the scoreline damage to Essendon wasn’t too bad, and the Dogs have gained some much needed form. So everyone’s a winner.
Sadly, that statement could not be recycled to describe the Saturday fixtures. Several of the teams running around looked anything like winners, Melbourne most prominent among them. Any confidence the Dees might have gained from the previous weekend’s rout of the tanking Eagles was soundly beaten out of them by the Power in front of yet another pitiful AAMI stadium crowd. Perhaps the Port fans too have been affected by the same calm acceptance that this simply isn’t their year, and watching their team play meaningless matches is not a necessary step on the road to fulfilment. Although no doubt those who did bother to turn up would have thoroughly enjoyed the 78 point shellacking of the very, very ordinary Demons.
With their finals hopes still alive, the Tigers’ management would have probably been hoping for a slightly larger turnout than the 25,000 who chose to spend their Saturday arvo at the MCG watching their side take on Freo. But again those who made the effort were rewarded, with a fingernail-chewing seven point victory keeping Tiger hopes alive while marking the umpteenth time in 2008 that the Dockers have fallen just short. The turning point in the match came when Freo’s problem child Jeff Farmer managed to give away a crucial free kick and fifty metre penalty which blew his side’s momentum, and which will probably end his career at the end of 2008 on 249 games- like his team, falling just short of the mark.
Another team keeping its finals hopes narrowly north of the flatline mark in Round 21 was Carlton, who got up over the plummeting Brisbane Lions by a single kick up at the Gabba in the best match of the round. This really was a most unusual game. First we had the Blues leaping out of the blocks in the first half to be three goals up at the long break. Then the Lions ran amok in the third quarter, booting nine goals to one and seemingly wrapping up the four points necessary to keep their own finals chances alive. But then the Blues turned the game on its head once more, keeping the Lions scoreless in the last and putting through six goals of their own to steal the points. Perhaps most inexplicable of all was the fact that of the eighteen goals kicked by the Navy Blues, just two were off the boot of the Urinator. Fev now requires eight goals next weekend to bring up the ton, an eventuality which just a few weeks ago looked like a dead cert but now looks just plain dead.
One team with reason to feel eternal gratitude to Carlton for their magnificent comeback win is the Sydney Swans, who were somehow guaranteed a finals spot by the Blues’ victory despite themselves crashing to yet another loss. Collingwood hold the wood over Sydney, having beaten them umpteen times in a row. They converted this wood into a four-by-two plank in the first quarter and proceeded to beat the Swans over the head with it, putting through eight goals and opening up a lead that the Sydneysiders never challenged. It’s a bit of a worrying time for Sydney. In recent years they’ve have kept making the finals without being a contender, perhaps not the greatest long-term strategy. Ask any Essendon fan whether they would have preferred not to have done likewise in the period 2002-4 if it meant less recruiting of journeymen from Carlton and more single figure draft picks, and you’ll probably get a reasonably vehement answer. It’s all looking cheery for the Magpies however, they’ll go into the finals with a great deal of confidence that they can prove that last year’s agonisingly close preliminary final was no fluke. Heath Shaw should chauffer Alan Didak every week!
A possible finals preview took place on the Sunday, with Geelong hosting North Melbourne down at Sleepy Hollow. This was a match which would have given the Roos some indication of how far they had come since the Cats had belted them in the first week of the 2007 finals. And while North can take some satisfaction in the fact that they have come a long way since that debacle, they are still a fair way behind Geelong. Mind you, so is every other club in the competition just now. The Kangaroos were able to take this game right up to Geelong in the early stages, but a 20 minute burst in the second term produced seven Cat goals and basically ended the match as a contest. All good news down at the Cattery, they could probably play the diminuitive Matthew Stokes in the ruck and win right now the way they're going. At least they could if he wasn't out of the side due to "general soreness", which if I'm not mistaken was also the name of one of the villains in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.
Two games to go, and at Telstra Dome all eyes were on Old Man Harvey, who was honoured in his final "home" game (the Saints are the away team at Telstra Dome this weekend) by the unveiling of a giant 35 banner and the attendance of over 200 of his former teammates. With so much former Saint star power on display, it was perhaps not surprising that the current crop were distracted and missed the start. The Crows shot away to an early lead before the Saints realised they were in a game, but 12 Saint goals to 3 in the last three quarters ensured a St Kilda victory and a fitting conclusion to a big day for one of their all time legends. The Saints win meant that the previous night's heroics by Carlton, and Richmond's gallant win over Freo, were all for naught - the final eight was now set in stone.
Over in the West many had thought that Round 21 might be the occasion for star forward Lance Franklin to get his century, including several members of the Franklin clan who flew in specially for the big event. Buddy needed six majors to chalk up the ton, but unfortunately was only able to find four on the day. Not that it mattered, the Hawks were untroubled in racking up a 71 point win and now far more Hawk fans will have the chance to be present as he tries again this weekend. But should fans run onto the ground when (and if, knowing Buddy's erratic kicking record) he does kick his 100th? Yes, says Plugger Lockett, no stranger himself to kicking big scores. No says the Telstra Dome management and the AFL. My guess is it won't matter how many extra security guards they hire, they'll still get a fullscale ground invasion this weekend coming.
But all of that still lies ahead. Casting eyes back on the round just gone, we see that Round 21 proved decisive in a number of ways, but most notably in locking the door on the final eight for 2008. For half the teams in the AFL 2008 will be officially consigned to history following Round 22. But the other half still have much to play for - just who is going to get smashed by Geelong in the Grand Final this year? Will Buddy get his ton, and how many ground invaders will be banned for life if he does? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves be prevailed upon to provide coolie labour to carry off Big Mal Michael? As ever we'll be belatedly on the scene to wrap up all of the big stories from Round 22, see you back here in a week's time.
22 August 2008
Round Twenty: The Clash of the Titans
There are certain inevitabilities in the final rounds of any AFL season. A spate of retirements occurs, as long-serving warriors come to the realisation that their dodgy hamstring/ knee/ performance/ court record is probably going to preclude them from going around for one more season. Fans of the Richmond and Fremantle Football Clubs accept the inevitable of two possibilities; either that their team’s late season gallantry is still not going to make up for their shocking early season form and get them into the finals; or that a bottom of the ladder finish at least will enable them to get a number one draft pick, which they’ll be sure to use wisely on players who will be around for a decade and who will propel the team to the top of the ladder (please don’t mention Richard Lounder or Trent Croad). And whispers of “tanking” will appear, as teams still under the magical threshold of five wins will mysteriously go down in matches in which they should ordinarily be lay down miseres.
And so it has proved once more in 2008. At least this year the tanking madness has held off until Round 20. Last year Carlton was at it before the last of the autumn leaves had hit the ground. This time it is the West Coast Eagles, premiers a mere two seasons ago, who have found themselves banished from the penthouse to the poorhouse in 2008. An awful 2008 for the Weagles has had only three silver linings: cross-town rivals the Dockers have also had a shocker, the Demons have played a season so woeful that it has put every other underperforming side firmly in the shade, and finishing at the bottom will allow for the selection of a new model Chris Judd (who hopefully will stay put in WA) or Ben Cousins (who hopefully won’t go off the rails).
Such is the degree of weary cynicism among AFL fans these days, there was scarcely a raised eyebrow when the betting odds for the Round 20 Melbourne versus West Coast match (“Clash of the Titans!”) were posted. The Demons a week earlier may have resembled Eric the Eel desperately thrashing in the pool while the Michael Phelps-like Geelong tumble-turned with graceful ease, but they went into this match warm favourites. And the Eagles may have ended the Bombers’ finals chances with a gutsy and skilful performance worthy of a Usain Bolt (after a couple of years of being slightly more Ben Johnson - the disgraced sprinter, not the Collingwood player), but not a brass razoo was laid on their chances of beating the bottom-placed Dees. And so it duly came to pass, in one of the worst games of this or any other season. The Eagles were truly appalling, kicking just five goals for the game and only 1 goal 10 behinds in the entire second half. The Demons were marginally less bad, kicking 11 goals for the game. The crowd stayed away in droves, with just 18,000 turning up to the cavernous MCG. Luckily the radio and TV audience was huge, in the northern states at least, because for some inexplicable reason it was selected as the match of the day over Essendon-Adelaide. Madness.
The round had in fact commenced the previous night when Collingwood proved that all those who’d written them off after Liar-gate two weeks earlier (including yours truly) were a bunch of fools by recording a gutsy five goal win interstate against the Power. While Port in 2008 are a traumatised shadow of the exciting side that made it all the way to Grand Final day in 2007 and then got annihilated, winning interstate is never an easy proposition and the Pies will be well pleased to have gained the four points. They’re pretty much guaranteed a finals spot now, although they’d still like another win or two going into the finals. The Power are already looking ahead to 2009, as are a bulk of their supporters given the pitiful turn-up at the match.
In the game on Saturday arvo deemed inferior to the “Clash of the Titans!”, Adelaide made history by recording their first ever victory in Victoria (not Victor-Victoria!) against the Bombers. After a midseason slump the Crows are coming good at the right time of the year. To be fair to the Bombers, whose shoulders might have slumped after their finals chances had vanished across the Nullabor the previous week, their injury list before the game resembled that of a particularly gallant World War One outfit. Their injury list after the game resembled that of General Custer’s regiment, as player after player went down wounded. All of these injuries have had a calamitous effect not only on Essendon’s finals chances, but also on their feeder side the Bendigo Bombers in the second tier Victorian Football League (VFL). With so many Essendon players out the Bendigo seniors found their own ranks drastically depleted and had to fill the gaps with reserves players for their encounter with Williamstown on the weekend. They kicked one goal for the day and went down by 155 points. For their part the poor old reserves team had to resort to recruiting the taller kids from the halftime Auskick program to fill in for the day, they kicked two behinds in total and lost by an astonishing 239 points.
Back in the big league, and there were a couple of eagerly awaited encounters on on Saturday night. It was fourth versus first as Sydney hosted Geelong. The Cats kept alive their chances of equalling the most successful season ever by leaping out of the blocks in the first quarter and then holding the Swans at bay after that. The Swans are still a chance of missing the finals altogether if they can’t get a win in the last two weeks of the season, and neither of their remaining fixtures is a gimme in anyone’s book. Up north the Brisbane Lions kept their own finals chances alive by continuing the Western Bulldogs’ recent slide and taking home a tight 11 point win after trailing all night. Perhaps the Lions were buoyed by the news that their long serving champion Nigel Lappin, the last of the Brisbane Bears and the Ringo Starr of the midfield “Fab Four” (the others being Brownlow Medallists Michael Voss, Simon Black and Jason Akermanis) was hanging up his boots come season’s end. These days Akermanis (who in the Fab Four was both John Lennon and Yoko Ono rolled into one) plies his trade in the red, white and blue of the Dogs, who would very much like to get some form back before they come up against Hawthorn in week one of the finals.
The Hawks, though, are not travelling in the most convincing manner possible themselves. They dropped a game nobody expected them to against Richmond on the Sunday afternoon, bringing the Tigers' very slim finals hopes back to life after they'd looked to have been snuffed out the previous weekend. The major problem for Hawthorn this weekend- and indeed, every weekend- is that if Buddy Franklin has an off day with the boot and nobody else can step up they're in trouble. Franklin's forward partner Jarryd Roughead has had a great season but he had a shocker on the weekend. Part of the problem was the Hawks' midfield becoming too Buddy-centric, possibly understandably as he started the day on 91 goals and there was a feeling that he could easily kick 9 for the ton against a demoralised Richmond. It wasn't to be, though, and Geelong will have watched Richmond's defensive tactics with a great deal of interest given that Hawthorn is the team most likely to oppose them on Grand Final day this year.
But not if North Melbourne has anything to say about it. The perenially underrated Roos are coming home with a wet sail in 2008 and they disposed of Carlton in clinical fashion to take over fourth spot. An eight goal second quarter set up the Roos' win, a result which makes it almost impossible for the Blues to play finals in 2008. Their major interest now is in ensuring that the Urinator gets to the ton of goals in the last two weeks. But the Roos are now a real contender. Last year they finished fourth and got walloped by 100 points by Geelong in the first final, but they're looking better this year than last. They may well fancy their chances of causing the mother of all upsets if they're drawn to play each other once more. They'll get an early opportunity to have a go at the Cats as they're off to Kardinia Park this weekend.
One game to complete Round 20, and St Kilda battled hard to ensure a victory they had to have in the west against the Dockers. The Saints are now hanging on grimly to eighth spot, level on points with Collingwood but with an inferior percentage. Brisbane are a game behind and snapping at their heels. Sydney, in sixth, are half a game clear of the Magpies and Saints but are in awful form. Richmond, in tenth, need to win both of their last two matches and need somebody above them to lose both of theirs; Carlton, in eleventh, need the same equation but they need to win their own games by about 100 points apiece to get their percentage up.
So it's all shaped up for a thrilling final two rounds. Will Melbourne's taste of victory put them on a late season roll? Can North cause a boilover down the Avalon Highway? Will Buddy or the Urinator get the century? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves kick a goal this week? The answers to all these and more- right here at Wrap Central.
And so it has proved once more in 2008. At least this year the tanking madness has held off until Round 20. Last year Carlton was at it before the last of the autumn leaves had hit the ground. This time it is the West Coast Eagles, premiers a mere two seasons ago, who have found themselves banished from the penthouse to the poorhouse in 2008. An awful 2008 for the Weagles has had only three silver linings: cross-town rivals the Dockers have also had a shocker, the Demons have played a season so woeful that it has put every other underperforming side firmly in the shade, and finishing at the bottom will allow for the selection of a new model Chris Judd (who hopefully will stay put in WA) or Ben Cousins (who hopefully won’t go off the rails).
Such is the degree of weary cynicism among AFL fans these days, there was scarcely a raised eyebrow when the betting odds for the Round 20 Melbourne versus West Coast match (“Clash of the Titans!”) were posted. The Demons a week earlier may have resembled Eric the Eel desperately thrashing in the pool while the Michael Phelps-like Geelong tumble-turned with graceful ease, but they went into this match warm favourites. And the Eagles may have ended the Bombers’ finals chances with a gutsy and skilful performance worthy of a Usain Bolt (after a couple of years of being slightly more Ben Johnson - the disgraced sprinter, not the Collingwood player), but not a brass razoo was laid on their chances of beating the bottom-placed Dees. And so it duly came to pass, in one of the worst games of this or any other season. The Eagles were truly appalling, kicking just five goals for the game and only 1 goal 10 behinds in the entire second half. The Demons were marginally less bad, kicking 11 goals for the game. The crowd stayed away in droves, with just 18,000 turning up to the cavernous MCG. Luckily the radio and TV audience was huge, in the northern states at least, because for some inexplicable reason it was selected as the match of the day over Essendon-Adelaide. Madness.
The round had in fact commenced the previous night when Collingwood proved that all those who’d written them off after Liar-gate two weeks earlier (including yours truly) were a bunch of fools by recording a gutsy five goal win interstate against the Power. While Port in 2008 are a traumatised shadow of the exciting side that made it all the way to Grand Final day in 2007 and then got annihilated, winning interstate is never an easy proposition and the Pies will be well pleased to have gained the four points. They’re pretty much guaranteed a finals spot now, although they’d still like another win or two going into the finals. The Power are already looking ahead to 2009, as are a bulk of their supporters given the pitiful turn-up at the match.
In the game on Saturday arvo deemed inferior to the “Clash of the Titans!”, Adelaide made history by recording their first ever victory in Victoria (not Victor-Victoria!) against the Bombers. After a midseason slump the Crows are coming good at the right time of the year. To be fair to the Bombers, whose shoulders might have slumped after their finals chances had vanished across the Nullabor the previous week, their injury list before the game resembled that of a particularly gallant World War One outfit. Their injury list after the game resembled that of General Custer’s regiment, as player after player went down wounded. All of these injuries have had a calamitous effect not only on Essendon’s finals chances, but also on their feeder side the Bendigo Bombers in the second tier Victorian Football League (VFL). With so many Essendon players out the Bendigo seniors found their own ranks drastically depleted and had to fill the gaps with reserves players for their encounter with Williamstown on the weekend. They kicked one goal for the day and went down by 155 points. For their part the poor old reserves team had to resort to recruiting the taller kids from the halftime Auskick program to fill in for the day, they kicked two behinds in total and lost by an astonishing 239 points.
Back in the big league, and there were a couple of eagerly awaited encounters on on Saturday night. It was fourth versus first as Sydney hosted Geelong. The Cats kept alive their chances of equalling the most successful season ever by leaping out of the blocks in the first quarter and then holding the Swans at bay after that. The Swans are still a chance of missing the finals altogether if they can’t get a win in the last two weeks of the season, and neither of their remaining fixtures is a gimme in anyone’s book. Up north the Brisbane Lions kept their own finals chances alive by continuing the Western Bulldogs’ recent slide and taking home a tight 11 point win after trailing all night. Perhaps the Lions were buoyed by the news that their long serving champion Nigel Lappin, the last of the Brisbane Bears and the Ringo Starr of the midfield “Fab Four” (the others being Brownlow Medallists Michael Voss, Simon Black and Jason Akermanis) was hanging up his boots come season’s end. These days Akermanis (who in the Fab Four was both John Lennon and Yoko Ono rolled into one) plies his trade in the red, white and blue of the Dogs, who would very much like to get some form back before they come up against Hawthorn in week one of the finals.
The Hawks, though, are not travelling in the most convincing manner possible themselves. They dropped a game nobody expected them to against Richmond on the Sunday afternoon, bringing the Tigers' very slim finals hopes back to life after they'd looked to have been snuffed out the previous weekend. The major problem for Hawthorn this weekend- and indeed, every weekend- is that if Buddy Franklin has an off day with the boot and nobody else can step up they're in trouble. Franklin's forward partner Jarryd Roughead has had a great season but he had a shocker on the weekend. Part of the problem was the Hawks' midfield becoming too Buddy-centric, possibly understandably as he started the day on 91 goals and there was a feeling that he could easily kick 9 for the ton against a demoralised Richmond. It wasn't to be, though, and Geelong will have watched Richmond's defensive tactics with a great deal of interest given that Hawthorn is the team most likely to oppose them on Grand Final day this year.
But not if North Melbourne has anything to say about it. The perenially underrated Roos are coming home with a wet sail in 2008 and they disposed of Carlton in clinical fashion to take over fourth spot. An eight goal second quarter set up the Roos' win, a result which makes it almost impossible for the Blues to play finals in 2008. Their major interest now is in ensuring that the Urinator gets to the ton of goals in the last two weeks. But the Roos are now a real contender. Last year they finished fourth and got walloped by 100 points by Geelong in the first final, but they're looking better this year than last. They may well fancy their chances of causing the mother of all upsets if they're drawn to play each other once more. They'll get an early opportunity to have a go at the Cats as they're off to Kardinia Park this weekend.
One game to complete Round 20, and St Kilda battled hard to ensure a victory they had to have in the west against the Dockers. The Saints are now hanging on grimly to eighth spot, level on points with Collingwood but with an inferior percentage. Brisbane are a game behind and snapping at their heels. Sydney, in sixth, are half a game clear of the Magpies and Saints but are in awful form. Richmond, in tenth, need to win both of their last two matches and need somebody above them to lose both of theirs; Carlton, in eleventh, need the same equation but they need to win their own games by about 100 points apiece to get their percentage up.
So it's all shaped up for a thrilling final two rounds. Will Melbourne's taste of victory put them on a late season roll? Can North cause a boilover down the Avalon Highway? Will Buddy or the Urinator get the century? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves kick a goal this week? The answers to all these and more- right here at Wrap Central.
13 August 2008
Round Nineteen: The Technically Flawless Wrap
Some exciting developments this week on the thus far embryonic new Gold Coast team- they may not yet have colours, a home ground or an established nickname, but they now have an inaugural coach! Yes, from next season in the juniors until the Dugongs/ Metermaids/ Schoolies/ Muriels finally take to the field in the big time in 2011, former Eagle backman and latter day Magpie assistant Bluey McKenna (and what a fine Australian name that is!) will be the man in charge. He’s got a big job ahead of him. The record on inaugural coaches at expansion teams isn’t particularly encouraging, most didn’t last terribly long. Poor old Peter Knights was thrown to the wolves at the Carrara Koalas under Christopher Skase, although he did come back a few years later to coach Hawthorn (equally poorly if his win/loss is anything to go by). Ron Alexander lasted but a single season at West Coast before being replaced by WA footy legend Ron Todd; Gerard Neesham is still best remembered at Fremantle as the bloke who cost them Andrew McLeod (on which more later); and even being a SA footy legend didn’t get John Cahill a third season at Port. But maybe Bluey can break the mould. A thought- perhaps in this Beijing Olympic fortnight the appointment of a man with flaming red hair is intended as a subtle wink towards the team’s soon to be disclosed official nickname? Could it be that the Coasters have decided to go down the Chinese route and will be nicknaming the team the (Red) Guards?
Only time will tell. But Beijing was the place to be for the AFL hoi polloi in the week just passed, Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou and Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick both passed up the opportunity to attend the official commemorative event for the sesquicentenary of Australian Rules Football, Scotch College versus Melbourne Grammar supported by Geelong versus Melbourne, in order to sit in a dodgy looking stadium listening to a “technically flawless” prepubescent kid lipsync in Chinese while fraudulent fireworks burst overhead. However, this turned out to be a highly wise decision in retrospect. While the Scotch-Grammar match was a belter (“Rah, rah, boys, rah!”) the Cats-Demons affair was quite possibly the most one-sided affair in the 150 years gone since Tom Wills thought it a good idea to keep cricketers fit in the off season (obviously David Boon, Mike Gatting and Inzamam al-Huq didn’t get that memo). Melbourne were simply not on the same page as Geelong, and for a good while there were in serious danger of lodging a genuine 1858-style scoreline. They didn’t get on the scoreboard at all until well into the second quarter, and only then because a Geelong defender fumbled the ball across his own goal line. New Dees’ President “Shamrock” Jimmy Stynes appeared in shot occasionally in his red and blue scarf looking suitably aghast as yet another Geelong goal went through. He must have been severely tempted at various stages to throw the scarf around the nearest beam and end it all, but thankfully held temptation at bay. The final 116 point margin confirmed what we already were aware of- namely, Geelong is very very good, Melbourne is very very bad, and a wet night in Melbourne watching a total mismatch is no match for photoshopped pyrotechniques in Beijing.
The first half of the Hawthorn-Brisbane match down in Launceston provided similarly dire viewing, with the two sides able to manage a mere four goals between them. But the Hawks slipped up through their gears in the third quarter before throwing open the throttle (and possibly mixing their motoring metaphors) in the final term to belt home nine majors and run away with the points. While superstar Buddy Franklin was the hero up forward with six more majors, taking him ever closer to the magic 100 for the season, it was long serving ’99 Brownlow medallist Shane Crawford in his 300th match who was the focal point for the brown and gold faithful. Crawford managed to put through the final goal of the match and was promptly besieged by his teammates from all parts of the ground. Crawford has been unlucky for the most part in his timing at Hawthorn, arriving just after the glory days of the ‘80s concluded, but perhaps his long wait for a Grand Final appearance is about to end.
One can only hope that if Crawford’s Hawks do make it to the last day of the season in ’08, their Grand Final experience is a little more positive than that of Port Adelaide in ‘07. Following last year’s towelling the Power continue to plummet like a shot down Messerschmidt from the upper reaches of the ladder, smoke billowing and bitter Teutonic epithets spewing forth as the ground rapidly approaches. This week it was the turn of Carlton to bank four points and keep their finals hopes alive at Port’s expense. Like Port, Fremantle have also unselfishly dedicated their 2008 season to the cause of others and for the umpteenth time this season snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Sydney to keep the Swans’ top four chances on track. Once more Freo’s skipper and best player Matthew Pavlich proved that, while he’s a great man to have on your team, he’s not the bloke you want lining up for goal at a crucial point. Pavlich had the chance to seal victory for the Dockers from 30 metres out but sprayed his kick, the Swans swept the ball away to the other end from which it never returned and the Sydney fans were able to celebrate a thrilling victory.
Celebrations went long and hard down at Collingwood too, as the Magpies were able to put their week from hell behind them and take the points against a disappointing St Kilda. While Old Father Time Robert Harvey tried his guts out once more for the Saints, his side was unable to get ahead of a Collingwood side determined to prove a point after the club had been pilloried, tarred, feathered, bollocked and nuggetted in the press over the previous week. Rumours that both President Eddie McGuire and coach Mick Malthouse were spotted actually smiling after the game remain unconfirmed but the black and white army were certainly a lot more chipper than in previous days, their finals hopes are once more alive.
Sadly, the same can’t be said for the finals hopes of Richmond and Essendon, both of which flatlined interstate on the Sunday afternoon of Round 19. The Tigers got thumped by the Crows, while the Bombers were at least competitive in the second half (pity about the first) against the Eagles but nevertheless fell 10 points short. In Adelaide the Crows were celebrating the 300th game of dual Norm Smith medallist Andrew McLeod, who would have been reflecting on the possibility that he could have played his career in the purple of Freo (and no doubt thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t). Apparently a young McLeod and ex-Dockers coach Gerard Neesham took an instant dislike to each other in the mid-90s and a trade was made for long forgotten (except for trivia buffs) Chris Groom. Fair to say that the Crows got the better end of that deal. Sadly for the Tigers their 2008 gun under pressure Joel Bowden won’t remember his 250th quite as fondly. Over in the west rookie full forward Ben McKinley was the hero for the Eagles, booting seven. To their credit Essendon played the game out and will look forward to 2009 with a lot of optimism.
One game to go to complete Round 19, and North Melbourne were able to complete the double over the Doggies, who’ve dropped to third (not that it matters, they’ll be playing Hawthorn at the MCG in the first week of the finals regardless of what happens in the last couple of weeks). North led all day in this one, with the AFL’s smallest player Brent Harvey giving his Brownlow Medal chances yet another kick along with another best afield performance.
So 150 years have passed since the first kick about on Gosch’s Paddock, 19 rounds have passed since the first ball was bounced on season 2008. If you can tear yourself away from the Olympics, due tune in again next week when we dissect Round 20. Until then, may your fireworks be bright and unadulterated and all of your viewing technically flawless.
Only time will tell. But Beijing was the place to be for the AFL hoi polloi in the week just passed, Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou and Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick both passed up the opportunity to attend the official commemorative event for the sesquicentenary of Australian Rules Football, Scotch College versus Melbourne Grammar supported by Geelong versus Melbourne, in order to sit in a dodgy looking stadium listening to a “technically flawless” prepubescent kid lipsync in Chinese while fraudulent fireworks burst overhead. However, this turned out to be a highly wise decision in retrospect. While the Scotch-Grammar match was a belter (“Rah, rah, boys, rah!”) the Cats-Demons affair was quite possibly the most one-sided affair in the 150 years gone since Tom Wills thought it a good idea to keep cricketers fit in the off season (obviously David Boon, Mike Gatting and Inzamam al-Huq didn’t get that memo). Melbourne were simply not on the same page as Geelong, and for a good while there were in serious danger of lodging a genuine 1858-style scoreline. They didn’t get on the scoreboard at all until well into the second quarter, and only then because a Geelong defender fumbled the ball across his own goal line. New Dees’ President “Shamrock” Jimmy Stynes appeared in shot occasionally in his red and blue scarf looking suitably aghast as yet another Geelong goal went through. He must have been severely tempted at various stages to throw the scarf around the nearest beam and end it all, but thankfully held temptation at bay. The final 116 point margin confirmed what we already were aware of- namely, Geelong is very very good, Melbourne is very very bad, and a wet night in Melbourne watching a total mismatch is no match for photoshopped pyrotechniques in Beijing.
The first half of the Hawthorn-Brisbane match down in Launceston provided similarly dire viewing, with the two sides able to manage a mere four goals between them. But the Hawks slipped up through their gears in the third quarter before throwing open the throttle (and possibly mixing their motoring metaphors) in the final term to belt home nine majors and run away with the points. While superstar Buddy Franklin was the hero up forward with six more majors, taking him ever closer to the magic 100 for the season, it was long serving ’99 Brownlow medallist Shane Crawford in his 300th match who was the focal point for the brown and gold faithful. Crawford managed to put through the final goal of the match and was promptly besieged by his teammates from all parts of the ground. Crawford has been unlucky for the most part in his timing at Hawthorn, arriving just after the glory days of the ‘80s concluded, but perhaps his long wait for a Grand Final appearance is about to end.
One can only hope that if Crawford’s Hawks do make it to the last day of the season in ’08, their Grand Final experience is a little more positive than that of Port Adelaide in ‘07. Following last year’s towelling the Power continue to plummet like a shot down Messerschmidt from the upper reaches of the ladder, smoke billowing and bitter Teutonic epithets spewing forth as the ground rapidly approaches. This week it was the turn of Carlton to bank four points and keep their finals hopes alive at Port’s expense. Like Port, Fremantle have also unselfishly dedicated their 2008 season to the cause of others and for the umpteenth time this season snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Sydney to keep the Swans’ top four chances on track. Once more Freo’s skipper and best player Matthew Pavlich proved that, while he’s a great man to have on your team, he’s not the bloke you want lining up for goal at a crucial point. Pavlich had the chance to seal victory for the Dockers from 30 metres out but sprayed his kick, the Swans swept the ball away to the other end from which it never returned and the Sydney fans were able to celebrate a thrilling victory.
Celebrations went long and hard down at Collingwood too, as the Magpies were able to put their week from hell behind them and take the points against a disappointing St Kilda. While Old Father Time Robert Harvey tried his guts out once more for the Saints, his side was unable to get ahead of a Collingwood side determined to prove a point after the club had been pilloried, tarred, feathered, bollocked and nuggetted in the press over the previous week. Rumours that both President Eddie McGuire and coach Mick Malthouse were spotted actually smiling after the game remain unconfirmed but the black and white army were certainly a lot more chipper than in previous days, their finals hopes are once more alive.
Sadly, the same can’t be said for the finals hopes of Richmond and Essendon, both of which flatlined interstate on the Sunday afternoon of Round 19. The Tigers got thumped by the Crows, while the Bombers were at least competitive in the second half (pity about the first) against the Eagles but nevertheless fell 10 points short. In Adelaide the Crows were celebrating the 300th game of dual Norm Smith medallist Andrew McLeod, who would have been reflecting on the possibility that he could have played his career in the purple of Freo (and no doubt thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t). Apparently a young McLeod and ex-Dockers coach Gerard Neesham took an instant dislike to each other in the mid-90s and a trade was made for long forgotten (except for trivia buffs) Chris Groom. Fair to say that the Crows got the better end of that deal. Sadly for the Tigers their 2008 gun under pressure Joel Bowden won’t remember his 250th quite as fondly. Over in the west rookie full forward Ben McKinley was the hero for the Eagles, booting seven. To their credit Essendon played the game out and will look forward to 2009 with a lot of optimism.
One game to go to complete Round 19, and North Melbourne were able to complete the double over the Doggies, who’ve dropped to third (not that it matters, they’ll be playing Hawthorn at the MCG in the first week of the finals regardless of what happens in the last couple of weeks). North led all day in this one, with the AFL’s smallest player Brent Harvey giving his Brownlow Medal chances yet another kick along with another best afield performance.
So 150 years have passed since the first kick about on Gosch’s Paddock, 19 rounds have passed since the first ball was bounced on season 2008. If you can tear yourself away from the Olympics, due tune in again next week when we dissect Round 20. Until then, may your fireworks be bright and unadulterated and all of your viewing technically flawless.
06 August 2008
Round Eighteen: Baby, You Can Drive My Car (Into A Number of Parked Cars)
Less than a month ago, the Magpie Army was flying high. They had just belted Adelaide, a week after completing a difficult away win against the top four Swans. They were then, as now, the only team to have beaten the all-conquering Cats. Given that they had come within five points of achieving the mother of all upsets against the same opposition in last year’s Preliminary Final, many pundits had them down as a genuine dark horse for the 2008 premiership. They just needed to secure the last top four position which, given the Swans’ shaky form, they seemed more than capable of doing. Then it all went horribly wrong. A second disappointing defeat for the season against the unfancied Kangaroos was followed by a wholly unexpected thumping at the hands of Essendon, a team Collingwood had summarily put to the sword by 12 goals on Anzac Day. Then the Magpies were made to look like second rate pretenders by the genuine item in Hawthorn (further details later in the Wrap). And the (seemingly) final nail was put in the coffin of the Pies’ 2008 season late on Sunday night.
The facts of the case are these, Your Honour. Despite the finals being imminent, the brothers Shaw and one Alan Didak decided to enjoy a classy night at Kew’s finest tavern, the Geebung Polo Club. Somewhat more than a few beverages later, the junior Shaw elected to drive home in a slightly weaving manner, predictably taking out dodgem car style a few innocent bystanders (mercifully in the form of parked cars) on the way. The police arrived to find Shaw Jr and Didak on the scene, but were informed (as was the footy club) that Didak had not been in the car but had rather been summoned by Shaw to assist in his hour of need. This, not surprisingly, turned out to be a packet of lies. Didak had indeed been in the car, for the second year in a row he had made a bad passenger-related decision. Unfortunately for Collingwood, and El Presidente Eddie McGuire in particular, the truth didn’t emerge until after all and sundry had sworn blind before the assembled media that the passenger had not been Didak but a “scaly mate” of Shaw Jr’s. Hell hath no fury like a high profile TV show host made to look like a schmuck. When the dust settled both Didak and Shaw Jr had been handled season-ending suspensions and comparatively light fines (Shaw Sr got two weeks for drinking while injured). The suspensions of two of the Pies’ top players mean that just making the finals is going to be a big ask now, let alone getting a top four spot. And the dark horse of premiership contention has been put behind a screen and shot. It seems more than likely that Alan Didak will not be at Collingwood next season, the only reason he wasn’t sacked would seem to be that the Pies think they can get something for him on the trading market at the end of the year. By all accounts President McGuire gave the playing group a fearsome spray on Monday, not a happy team at all are the Magpies.
Hawthorn, on the other hand, are a very happy team as their jaunty club song would attest. And they were singing it long and loud on Friday night after easily accounting for the hapless Pies. As ever forward Lance “Buddy” Franklin was the man to watch, booting a lazy eight while missing another half dozen. One of these days he’s going to learn to kick straight and will break the goals in a game record by half time. As it is he’s leading the Coleman Medal tally for both goals and behinds. Eight was the magic number once more the next day at the MCG, this time it was Bombers’ skipper Matthew Lloyd enjoying a day out. Lloyd’s heroics were the bright spot of an otherwise lacklustre match, the absolute highlight was Lloyd turning back the years, launching himself into the stratosphere and most probably securing the car for Mark of the Year. Drive sober, Lloydy! Dons by 16 points, and a most unlikely finals appearance is still an outside possibility. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIPGdAL1gLU&feature=related
Alive too are the finals prospects of North Melbourne, who fought out a gritty win against the rapidly faltering Lions in the Roos’ last ever “home game” on the Gold Coast. With the Roos’ departure, the “coast” (b’doom ching!) is now clear for the as yet un-monikered new side- Gold Coast Dugongs, anyone? The Roos are now very much in the mix for the last top four spot, although getting it is going to be something of a poisoned chalice as it involves coming up against Geelong in the first week of the finals. The Roos did just that last year and got absolutely annihilated. Brisbane, on the other hand, would probably be happy just to be involved in September after blowing yet another winnable game. As indeed would Richmond, who took the game up to the seemingly unbeatable Cats in the first half, but were comprehensively trounced in the second. Not that there’s any shame in that, Hawthorn is the only team to get anywhere near Geelong in the last couple of months. In yet another game involving potential finalists, Adelaide was able to hold off the fast finishing Carlton. Difficult now for the Blues to make it to September, they’ll need to win all of their remaining matches to have a shot one would think.
To the Sunday matches, and to the great joy of the public service there was AFL footy on at Historic Manuka Oval- the match of the round, no less! And conditions were absolutely superlative, perfect blue sky, ground in excellent nick and two teams in the top four with everything to play for. The Bulldogs and Swans both looked resplendent in their contrasting strips but it was the Swans who got off to a flyer with four unanswered goals in the first six minutes. It appeared as though a boilover was on the cards, particularly as the Dogs had lost their last two matches. However Dogs’ coach Rodney Eade (formerly at the helm of the Swans) was able to flick a switch and the Bulldogs put through eleven of the next twelve goals to go in comfortably ahead at the halftime break. The Swans then had the better of the third quarter, but the Dogs held them off and recorded a very valuable win. Hawthorn and the Western Bulldogs are now all but certain to play each other in week one of the finals, what a cracker of a game that’s going to be. The Swans are still desperately clinging to fourth, but this was a rare defeat in their ACT home away from home. They’ll be looking to regain some form before the finals kick off.
To the last two games of Round 18 and down in Melbourne the Saints marched in in a close one against the massively underachieving Port Adelaide. It’s difficult to imagine how the Power made it to a Grand Final less than 12 months ago, they’ve never even looked like being a contender in 2008. The Saints though are still definitely in contention for that last top four spot. They were given extra motivation to have a real tilt for the title in the days following the Round’s conclusion by the announcement that the AFL’s oldest player Robert Harvey will hang up his boots at the end of this season. Harvey is an indisputable champion of the game, a back to back Brownlow Medallist and eight time all-Australian. He made his debut back in the old VFL in 1988- anyone remember World Expo ’88? Or the Seoul Olympics? Certainly not the copious number of players on AFL lists who weren’t even born in 1988! An amazing career, unlikely that anyone else is going to chalk up 21 seasons at the top level of such a physical game any time soon.
And historic retirements were the order of the day over in the west as well, as Freo’s final foundation player Sean McManus chose the latest version of Derby: Fully Loaded as the occasion for his final match. McManus has been there since day one of the Dockers’ long strange purple journey, through tragedy and disappointment, the bad moments and the frustrating. There haven’t been too many moments of actual success for Fremantle over the last fourteen seasons. However the two matches a season their long-suffering fans crave victory in are the two against West Coast, and this year the Dockers have won them both! So perhaps their season hasn’t been all bad after all. Their win saw them leapfrog Port Adelaide into fourth bottom, the Eagles’ are now rooted in the bottom two and still in danger of a first wooden spoon just two seasons after taking a (possibly substance-assisted) premiership.
So just four rounds to go in the 2008 home and away season for all bar those whose propensity to have a lager or two, drive in a less than confidence-inspiring manner and then play fast and loose with the truth have seen them banished to the sidelines. Drive carefully, all! And never, ever, make Eddie McGuire look foolish. Here’s a treat, a sneak preview of the AFL Grand Final pre-game entertainment for 2008. See you back here for the Round 19 Wrap next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31x2WpuSAkA
The facts of the case are these, Your Honour. Despite the finals being imminent, the brothers Shaw and one Alan Didak decided to enjoy a classy night at Kew’s finest tavern, the Geebung Polo Club. Somewhat more than a few beverages later, the junior Shaw elected to drive home in a slightly weaving manner, predictably taking out dodgem car style a few innocent bystanders (mercifully in the form of parked cars) on the way. The police arrived to find Shaw Jr and Didak on the scene, but were informed (as was the footy club) that Didak had not been in the car but had rather been summoned by Shaw to assist in his hour of need. This, not surprisingly, turned out to be a packet of lies. Didak had indeed been in the car, for the second year in a row he had made a bad passenger-related decision. Unfortunately for Collingwood, and El Presidente Eddie McGuire in particular, the truth didn’t emerge until after all and sundry had sworn blind before the assembled media that the passenger had not been Didak but a “scaly mate” of Shaw Jr’s. Hell hath no fury like a high profile TV show host made to look like a schmuck. When the dust settled both Didak and Shaw Jr had been handled season-ending suspensions and comparatively light fines (Shaw Sr got two weeks for drinking while injured). The suspensions of two of the Pies’ top players mean that just making the finals is going to be a big ask now, let alone getting a top four spot. And the dark horse of premiership contention has been put behind a screen and shot. It seems more than likely that Alan Didak will not be at Collingwood next season, the only reason he wasn’t sacked would seem to be that the Pies think they can get something for him on the trading market at the end of the year. By all accounts President McGuire gave the playing group a fearsome spray on Monday, not a happy team at all are the Magpies.
Hawthorn, on the other hand, are a very happy team as their jaunty club song would attest. And they were singing it long and loud on Friday night after easily accounting for the hapless Pies. As ever forward Lance “Buddy” Franklin was the man to watch, booting a lazy eight while missing another half dozen. One of these days he’s going to learn to kick straight and will break the goals in a game record by half time. As it is he’s leading the Coleman Medal tally for both goals and behinds. Eight was the magic number once more the next day at the MCG, this time it was Bombers’ skipper Matthew Lloyd enjoying a day out. Lloyd’s heroics were the bright spot of an otherwise lacklustre match, the absolute highlight was Lloyd turning back the years, launching himself into the stratosphere and most probably securing the car for Mark of the Year. Drive sober, Lloydy! Dons by 16 points, and a most unlikely finals appearance is still an outside possibility. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIPGdAL1gLU&feature=related
Alive too are the finals prospects of North Melbourne, who fought out a gritty win against the rapidly faltering Lions in the Roos’ last ever “home game” on the Gold Coast. With the Roos’ departure, the “coast” (b’doom ching!) is now clear for the as yet un-monikered new side- Gold Coast Dugongs, anyone? The Roos are now very much in the mix for the last top four spot, although getting it is going to be something of a poisoned chalice as it involves coming up against Geelong in the first week of the finals. The Roos did just that last year and got absolutely annihilated. Brisbane, on the other hand, would probably be happy just to be involved in September after blowing yet another winnable game. As indeed would Richmond, who took the game up to the seemingly unbeatable Cats in the first half, but were comprehensively trounced in the second. Not that there’s any shame in that, Hawthorn is the only team to get anywhere near Geelong in the last couple of months. In yet another game involving potential finalists, Adelaide was able to hold off the fast finishing Carlton. Difficult now for the Blues to make it to September, they’ll need to win all of their remaining matches to have a shot one would think.
To the Sunday matches, and to the great joy of the public service there was AFL footy on at Historic Manuka Oval- the match of the round, no less! And conditions were absolutely superlative, perfect blue sky, ground in excellent nick and two teams in the top four with everything to play for. The Bulldogs and Swans both looked resplendent in their contrasting strips but it was the Swans who got off to a flyer with four unanswered goals in the first six minutes. It appeared as though a boilover was on the cards, particularly as the Dogs had lost their last two matches. However Dogs’ coach Rodney Eade (formerly at the helm of the Swans) was able to flick a switch and the Bulldogs put through eleven of the next twelve goals to go in comfortably ahead at the halftime break. The Swans then had the better of the third quarter, but the Dogs held them off and recorded a very valuable win. Hawthorn and the Western Bulldogs are now all but certain to play each other in week one of the finals, what a cracker of a game that’s going to be. The Swans are still desperately clinging to fourth, but this was a rare defeat in their ACT home away from home. They’ll be looking to regain some form before the finals kick off.
To the last two games of Round 18 and down in Melbourne the Saints marched in in a close one against the massively underachieving Port Adelaide. It’s difficult to imagine how the Power made it to a Grand Final less than 12 months ago, they’ve never even looked like being a contender in 2008. The Saints though are still definitely in contention for that last top four spot. They were given extra motivation to have a real tilt for the title in the days following the Round’s conclusion by the announcement that the AFL’s oldest player Robert Harvey will hang up his boots at the end of this season. Harvey is an indisputable champion of the game, a back to back Brownlow Medallist and eight time all-Australian. He made his debut back in the old VFL in 1988- anyone remember World Expo ’88? Or the Seoul Olympics? Certainly not the copious number of players on AFL lists who weren’t even born in 1988! An amazing career, unlikely that anyone else is going to chalk up 21 seasons at the top level of such a physical game any time soon.
And historic retirements were the order of the day over in the west as well, as Freo’s final foundation player Sean McManus chose the latest version of Derby: Fully Loaded as the occasion for his final match. McManus has been there since day one of the Dockers’ long strange purple journey, through tragedy and disappointment, the bad moments and the frustrating. There haven’t been too many moments of actual success for Fremantle over the last fourteen seasons. However the two matches a season their long-suffering fans crave victory in are the two against West Coast, and this year the Dockers have won them both! So perhaps their season hasn’t been all bad after all. Their win saw them leapfrog Port Adelaide into fourth bottom, the Eagles’ are now rooted in the bottom two and still in danger of a first wooden spoon just two seasons after taking a (possibly substance-assisted) premiership.
So just four rounds to go in the 2008 home and away season for all bar those whose propensity to have a lager or two, drive in a less than confidence-inspiring manner and then play fast and loose with the truth have seen them banished to the sidelines. Drive carefully, all! And never, ever, make Eddie McGuire look foolish. Here’s a treat, a sneak preview of the AFL Grand Final pre-game entertainment for 2008. See you back here for the Round 19 Wrap next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31x2WpuSAkA
26 July 2008
Round Seventeen: The Long Awaited Wrap
Some months back I had the opportunity to meet former Prime Minister Paul Keating. I asked him for a photo, noting that I had voted for him in 1996 (the one that saw his government thrown out of office and which ushered in eleven glorious years of Howardism). He was pleased by this, commenting "True believer, eh?" So, as the first Wrap in months goes to print (so to speak), allow me to dedicate it to the true believers of the Wrap who have long awaited its coming. This one's for you.
Round Seventeen itself can be summed up as the long awaited round. There has been no game more eagerly awaited in 2008 than Geelong versus Hawthorn, the champions versus the challengers. Due to the vagaries of the 2008 draw these two teams had not done battle prior to this encounter, and indeed hadn't met each other at all since early in the 2007 season. This game was billed as the likely Grand Final preview, and it certainly lived up to expectations. In front of a sell-out MCG crowd the two sides put on a belter, with fate and momentum shifting like the Sahara sands in a windstorm. Early on it looked like the Cats were going to dispense of the Hawks in the same brutal fashion that they had put down the Hawks fellow pretender the Bulldogs the previous week. But the Hawks fought back valiantly and hit the front in the third quarter. It was a ding dong final stanza. Unfortunately for the Hawks their champion midfielder Luke Hodge blew their final chance with a most uncharacteristic clanger, a kick straight to the opposition which allowed the Cats to sweep the ball away and seal a thrilling match. Hodge can probably be forgiven for his mind being elsewhere, his partner was massively pregnant and there were doubts that he would play in the match at all. Luckily it all worked out well for the Hodge family- Luke's first son arrived a little less than 24 hours after the game concluded, I think on balance Hodge Sr will judge it a pretty good weekend all round.
But who can stop the Cats in 2008? It seems more than likely now that they will go through the remainder of the season undefeated, thereby equally the record of the Almost Invincibles Bomber outfit of 2000 which also lost just one match for the season. Geelong's one defeat, to Collingwood by a massive 86 points some months back, was incredible at the time and seems completely inexplicable now. Certainly Cats fans, who for so long awaited September glory, are being thoroughly spoiled just at the moment by one of the best teams the game has ever seen.
Another big crowd showed up the next day for the rematch between Collingwood and Essendon. Prior to the match the Magpies were still in contention for a top four finish and accompanying double chance, despite their loss the previous week to North Melbourne. Essendon's faint finals hopes had seemingly disappeared with its heartbreakingly narrow loss the previous week to Richmond. All signs pointed to another comfortable Collingwood win. But instead it was the Bombers who came out to play, blitzing the Pies in the opening quarter, withstanding a fightback and then running away with it in glorious style in the latter stages. Long awaited revenge for the Anzac Day debacle for the red and black brigade. It may well be too late for the Dons in 2008 to be a finals contender, but after a couple of months of pain they have given supporters a lot of hope for 2009. While son of a gun Jobe Watson racked up a stunning 41 disposals, it was the garish orange footwear of teenage sensation Kyle Reimers which caught the eye. The kid can play. For Collingwood, it was a bitterly disappointing defeat. It looks as though again they're going to have to do the finals the hard way, presuming they qualify. It must gall their supporters that they can thrash the reigning champs by 86 points and win interstate, but then drop games to the likes of Essendon, Carlton and North (the latter two twice each). And a tough draw in the last couple of rounds isn't going to help (they actually have to play away from the MCG!)
West Coast fans have endured a shocking season in 2008 as the footy gods have delivered a karmic response to their representatives' off-field shenanigans of 2006/7. But they experienced a long awaited victory against the Saints in Round 17, snapping a seven match losing streak and moving the Eagles one step further removed from a dreaded first wooden spoon. Perhaps the Eagles were inspired by the news that chronically indecisive ex-Lions skipper Michael Voss had decided to come on board as an assistant coach for 2009 after previously stringing out Essendon and Carlton in 2007 (as a possible coach) and the Gold Coast (as the possible inaugural coach of the new side). Perhaps Vossie was put off the Coasters by the awful choice of nicknames their citizens are being asked to choose from. Sadly neither the Muriels nor the far better Schoolies made the list, but with cool nicknames like the Sharks and Dolphins being unavailable (and a maritime theme seemingly being mandatory, the new team will be called one of: Stingrays, Rays, Marlins, Ironmen or Guards. Seriously- the Ironmen? God help us. That would have to be the single worse nickname in the history of professional sport, and I include the Kolkata Knight Riders, the netballing Skope Tactix from NZ, the Toronto Argonauts (or any random outfit in the Canadian Football League, check the website!) or the Fremantle Dockers in that. Although the Dockers still have the worst club song. Unless we're including the West Coast Eagles or Port Adelaide Power in this. But really, the Ironmen? Will those poxy lifeguard hats be part of the uniform? Will members of the Haemochromatisis Society be given free memberships? Will ex-Goon Peter Sellers' little-known masterpiece "Any Old Iron" be redubbed as the club song? Or will it have to be something by Iron Maiden? If any of that sorry list of potential nicknames is to get up, my vote is for the Marlins- Go the Brandos!
Returning to the game under discussion, the Saints will be kicking themselves for letting slip a chance to push for the last remaining top four spot. However the Swans, who currently occupy fourth spot, blew their chance to secure it by going down at home to the Crows, who themselves snapped a five game losing streak. This was a remarkable game for posters, the SCG brains trust must surely be regretting installing the leather magnets in the goal posts as the Swans pelted them with gay abandon. Nine wins out of ten for the Crows against the Swans, they've got the wood there. Barry Hall's return from the psychiatrist's couch was a mixed bag, he didn't punch anyone but didn't have any great impact on the field either. Food for thought for all concerned there.
While all this was going on two other sides still in finals contention, Richmond and Brisbane, were putting on a belter down in Melbourne. The Lions looked great in the old Fitzroy colours, but unfortunately donning the Roys jumper seems to be the kiss of death for them in 2008. They went in at three quarter time with a fairly comfortable lead, but the Tigers pegged them back until the ball wound up in the hands of Joel Bowden, needing to kick a goal to ensure the win. Bowden had had plenty of media coverage in the previous week, after he had deliberately rushed a couple of behinds in the dying stages of the match against Essendon in a successful bid to run down the clock. Some had compared his actions to those of Trevor Chappell. However this week Bowden got to play the role of Michael Bevan, whacking a four on the last ball of the match (or kicking the goal at least) to steal the points and give the Tiges an outside chance of a long awaited finals berth.
To the Sunday games, and a great coincidence here as all three games were decided by a 28 point margin. At the MCG North Melbourne had little trouble in knocking off the hapless Demons in front of a crowd which could have been comfortably accommodated within the Ponsford Stand, if not the Long Bar in the Members Pavilion. The Dees were coming off a troubled week in which ex-Wimbledon doubles champ and short-lived CEO Paul Macnamee had been shown the door by incoming President Jim Stynes. Perhaps, given this is the 8th Demons CEO in 10 years (Essendon have had one over the same period) Stynes has run across the mark with this one? Rumours that the Woodies will be coming in to take over the position in a job-share arrangement remain unconfirmed at this time.
Over in Adelaide the Fremantle Dockers belied their dreadful season form and won the battle of the Most Disappointing Teams of 2008 comp against the Power in front of another pitiful crowd at AAMI Stadium in Adelaide. In the absence of skipper Matthew Pavlich the Dockers were somehow able to chalk up an AFL/VFL equalling record of 16 individual goalkickers- the six blokes who didn't get on the scoresheet must be dirty! 2008 has been harsh for the Power, basically nothing has gone right for them since the 2007 preliminary final. At least, given that they won't be featuring in September, they'll be spared another 20 goal hiding on a worldwide broadcast on Grand Final day this year.
To the final game of a classic round, and in front of a slightly better crowd Carlton ran all over the Bulldogs in the second half to pull off a stunning victory. Tipsters already shaking from upset after upset were left aghast as the Urinator recovered from a dreadful first half to boot Carlton home with the assistance of a mighty performance from skipper and number one recruit Chris Judd in his 150th match. Carlton's recovery from the doldrums of the Pagan era remains on track. The Dogs are just a tad shaky after consecutive losses, particularly given last quarter fade outs in both games. But their finals spot is guaranteed, whereas Carlton may still be waiting for next year to break their finals drought.
So what a round it was- I got four in the tipping, anyone who got eight is either a medium or a dirty rotten cheater. The final eight may have looked home and hosed just a few weeks ago (I'd refer you to earlier columns but unfortunately the Wrap was on hiatus during this period) but it's anyone's guess who's going to be in the eight now. Not that it matters, Geelong are going to win by a street at this rate of knots. Still, with footy entertainment of the kind provided over the last week there's no shortage of interest in seeing how it all goes. Barring some kind of unforeseen calamity I'll be back writing up the remaining rounds so do stop by and see how it all pans out. Until next week, your proverbial scribe has returned (another Bible reference!) so thanks for keeping the faith.
Oh, and before I forget, a Youtube link- it's Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served. Just because. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSHSxKIyKMM&feature=related
Round Seventeen itself can be summed up as the long awaited round. There has been no game more eagerly awaited in 2008 than Geelong versus Hawthorn, the champions versus the challengers. Due to the vagaries of the 2008 draw these two teams had not done battle prior to this encounter, and indeed hadn't met each other at all since early in the 2007 season. This game was billed as the likely Grand Final preview, and it certainly lived up to expectations. In front of a sell-out MCG crowd the two sides put on a belter, with fate and momentum shifting like the Sahara sands in a windstorm. Early on it looked like the Cats were going to dispense of the Hawks in the same brutal fashion that they had put down the Hawks fellow pretender the Bulldogs the previous week. But the Hawks fought back valiantly and hit the front in the third quarter. It was a ding dong final stanza. Unfortunately for the Hawks their champion midfielder Luke Hodge blew their final chance with a most uncharacteristic clanger, a kick straight to the opposition which allowed the Cats to sweep the ball away and seal a thrilling match. Hodge can probably be forgiven for his mind being elsewhere, his partner was massively pregnant and there were doubts that he would play in the match at all. Luckily it all worked out well for the Hodge family- Luke's first son arrived a little less than 24 hours after the game concluded, I think on balance Hodge Sr will judge it a pretty good weekend all round.
But who can stop the Cats in 2008? It seems more than likely now that they will go through the remainder of the season undefeated, thereby equally the record of the Almost Invincibles Bomber outfit of 2000 which also lost just one match for the season. Geelong's one defeat, to Collingwood by a massive 86 points some months back, was incredible at the time and seems completely inexplicable now. Certainly Cats fans, who for so long awaited September glory, are being thoroughly spoiled just at the moment by one of the best teams the game has ever seen.
Another big crowd showed up the next day for the rematch between Collingwood and Essendon. Prior to the match the Magpies were still in contention for a top four finish and accompanying double chance, despite their loss the previous week to North Melbourne. Essendon's faint finals hopes had seemingly disappeared with its heartbreakingly narrow loss the previous week to Richmond. All signs pointed to another comfortable Collingwood win. But instead it was the Bombers who came out to play, blitzing the Pies in the opening quarter, withstanding a fightback and then running away with it in glorious style in the latter stages. Long awaited revenge for the Anzac Day debacle for the red and black brigade. It may well be too late for the Dons in 2008 to be a finals contender, but after a couple of months of pain they have given supporters a lot of hope for 2009. While son of a gun Jobe Watson racked up a stunning 41 disposals, it was the garish orange footwear of teenage sensation Kyle Reimers which caught the eye. The kid can play. For Collingwood, it was a bitterly disappointing defeat. It looks as though again they're going to have to do the finals the hard way, presuming they qualify. It must gall their supporters that they can thrash the reigning champs by 86 points and win interstate, but then drop games to the likes of Essendon, Carlton and North (the latter two twice each). And a tough draw in the last couple of rounds isn't going to help (they actually have to play away from the MCG!)
West Coast fans have endured a shocking season in 2008 as the footy gods have delivered a karmic response to their representatives' off-field shenanigans of 2006/7. But they experienced a long awaited victory against the Saints in Round 17, snapping a seven match losing streak and moving the Eagles one step further removed from a dreaded first wooden spoon. Perhaps the Eagles were inspired by the news that chronically indecisive ex-Lions skipper Michael Voss had decided to come on board as an assistant coach for 2009 after previously stringing out Essendon and Carlton in 2007 (as a possible coach) and the Gold Coast (as the possible inaugural coach of the new side). Perhaps Vossie was put off the Coasters by the awful choice of nicknames their citizens are being asked to choose from. Sadly neither the Muriels nor the far better Schoolies made the list, but with cool nicknames like the Sharks and Dolphins being unavailable (and a maritime theme seemingly being mandatory, the new team will be called one of: Stingrays, Rays, Marlins, Ironmen or Guards. Seriously- the Ironmen? God help us. That would have to be the single worse nickname in the history of professional sport, and I include the Kolkata Knight Riders, the netballing Skope Tactix from NZ, the Toronto Argonauts (or any random outfit in the Canadian Football League, check the website!) or the Fremantle Dockers in that. Although the Dockers still have the worst club song. Unless we're including the West Coast Eagles or Port Adelaide Power in this. But really, the Ironmen? Will those poxy lifeguard hats be part of the uniform? Will members of the Haemochromatisis Society be given free memberships? Will ex-Goon Peter Sellers' little-known masterpiece "Any Old Iron" be redubbed as the club song? Or will it have to be something by Iron Maiden? If any of that sorry list of potential nicknames is to get up, my vote is for the Marlins- Go the Brandos!
Returning to the game under discussion, the Saints will be kicking themselves for letting slip a chance to push for the last remaining top four spot. However the Swans, who currently occupy fourth spot, blew their chance to secure it by going down at home to the Crows, who themselves snapped a five game losing streak. This was a remarkable game for posters, the SCG brains trust must surely be regretting installing the leather magnets in the goal posts as the Swans pelted them with gay abandon. Nine wins out of ten for the Crows against the Swans, they've got the wood there. Barry Hall's return from the psychiatrist's couch was a mixed bag, he didn't punch anyone but didn't have any great impact on the field either. Food for thought for all concerned there.
While all this was going on two other sides still in finals contention, Richmond and Brisbane, were putting on a belter down in Melbourne. The Lions looked great in the old Fitzroy colours, but unfortunately donning the Roys jumper seems to be the kiss of death for them in 2008. They went in at three quarter time with a fairly comfortable lead, but the Tigers pegged them back until the ball wound up in the hands of Joel Bowden, needing to kick a goal to ensure the win. Bowden had had plenty of media coverage in the previous week, after he had deliberately rushed a couple of behinds in the dying stages of the match against Essendon in a successful bid to run down the clock. Some had compared his actions to those of Trevor Chappell. However this week Bowden got to play the role of Michael Bevan, whacking a four on the last ball of the match (or kicking the goal at least) to steal the points and give the Tiges an outside chance of a long awaited finals berth.
To the Sunday games, and a great coincidence here as all three games were decided by a 28 point margin. At the MCG North Melbourne had little trouble in knocking off the hapless Demons in front of a crowd which could have been comfortably accommodated within the Ponsford Stand, if not the Long Bar in the Members Pavilion. The Dees were coming off a troubled week in which ex-Wimbledon doubles champ and short-lived CEO Paul Macnamee had been shown the door by incoming President Jim Stynes. Perhaps, given this is the 8th Demons CEO in 10 years (Essendon have had one over the same period) Stynes has run across the mark with this one? Rumours that the Woodies will be coming in to take over the position in a job-share arrangement remain unconfirmed at this time.
Over in Adelaide the Fremantle Dockers belied their dreadful season form and won the battle of the Most Disappointing Teams of 2008 comp against the Power in front of another pitiful crowd at AAMI Stadium in Adelaide. In the absence of skipper Matthew Pavlich the Dockers were somehow able to chalk up an AFL/VFL equalling record of 16 individual goalkickers- the six blokes who didn't get on the scoresheet must be dirty! 2008 has been harsh for the Power, basically nothing has gone right for them since the 2007 preliminary final. At least, given that they won't be featuring in September, they'll be spared another 20 goal hiding on a worldwide broadcast on Grand Final day this year.
To the final game of a classic round, and in front of a slightly better crowd Carlton ran all over the Bulldogs in the second half to pull off a stunning victory. Tipsters already shaking from upset after upset were left aghast as the Urinator recovered from a dreadful first half to boot Carlton home with the assistance of a mighty performance from skipper and number one recruit Chris Judd in his 150th match. Carlton's recovery from the doldrums of the Pagan era remains on track. The Dogs are just a tad shaky after consecutive losses, particularly given last quarter fade outs in both games. But their finals spot is guaranteed, whereas Carlton may still be waiting for next year to break their finals drought.
So what a round it was- I got four in the tipping, anyone who got eight is either a medium or a dirty rotten cheater. The final eight may have looked home and hosed just a few weeks ago (I'd refer you to earlier columns but unfortunately the Wrap was on hiatus during this period) but it's anyone's guess who's going to be in the eight now. Not that it matters, Geelong are going to win by a street at this rate of knots. Still, with footy entertainment of the kind provided over the last week there's no shortage of interest in seeing how it all goes. Barring some kind of unforeseen calamity I'll be back writing up the remaining rounds so do stop by and see how it all pans out. Until next week, your proverbial scribe has returned (another Bible reference!) so thanks for keeping the faith.
Oh, and before I forget, a Youtube link- it's Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served. Just because. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSHSxKIyKMM&feature=related
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