Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the Victorian Football League (VFL) comprised of just eight teams. Two more joined in 1908, although one (University) fell over very quickly and is now little remembered (although the actual University itself is still standing). 1925 saw three more teams come on board, after which the VFL enjoyed stability for more than half a century. 12 teams, all in or around the greater Melbourne area, all matches on a Saturday afternoon leaving Sunday free for the wingless thuggery of the VFA. Then came the 1980s and everything changed. South Melbourne headed north to Sydney, where the twin atrocities of Warwick Capper's shorts and Dr Geoffrey Edelstein's pink helicopter must have appalled long time supporters of the old Bloods. Only a few years later the West Coast Eagles and Brisbane Bears came in simultaneously, bringing to the competition two truly garish jumpers, awful club songs and a much greater risk to all involved in the playing, coaching and covering of their matches of contracting deep vein thrombosis.
Come the '90s, come the Crows, Dockers, Power and the all-new Lions, out with the old Roys and Bears. Stability at last. Believe it or not we have had an unchanged line-up of teams now since 1997- that's 12 straight seasons! All together too good a situation to last. The AFL announced at the start of this season that it intended to boost team numbers even further by expanding into the Gold Coast and Western Sydney, two regions not traditionally known for their support of the great game. While the announcement caused general consternation amongst existing AFL clubs, concerned over issues such as player lists and draws, it caused general apoplexy down in Tasmania. The Apple Isle's Premier Paul Lennon stood together with his frontbenchers George McCartney, John Starr and Ringo Harrison and angrily declaimed the AFL for proposing an expansion that would yet again deny Tasmania, a traditional football state, the right to have their own team. Personally I'd like to see a Tasmanian team competing in the AFL. Presumably their nickname would be the Devils, which would lead to a fantastic fixture at least once a season when they took on the Demons. The fans would be slaughtering goats in the stands before the game and playing the club song backwards to follow. Now there's a fixture perfect for Rivalry Round!
But sadly the AFL seems set on excluding the Tasmanians and pushing ahead with its move into the hitherto unfriendly northern outposts. One immediate problem they are facing is that their contract with the Queensland Government necessitates the Gabba (in Brisbane) being the primary venue for AFL matches up north. Ironic, really, back in the '80s we had a team called Brisbane which played all of its home games on the Gold Coast, now the reverse might be the case. But the bigger issue is what on earth are we going to call the new teams? Given that the last two entrants into the AFL have gone with the Dockers and the Power we are already plumbing the depths of team names. Given some of the shockers that the Indian Premier League and the National Netball League have come up with (of which the Knight Riders and the Tactix must surely be the most mindboggling) can we dare hope that the new teams won't be immediately stillborn through the imposition of a fatal moniker? Probably not, which is why I'm proposing that the new Gold Coast team should spring into life as the Gold Coast Muriels. I say this because they're pretty much guaranteed to be both flashy and terrible. On a similar note I'd like the other team to be called the West Sydney Poidas, in tribute to Eric Bana's memorable bogan who will surely be representative of their fan base. Anyone got a better suggestion?
This is what happens when you get behind on writing a blog, you end up writing pretty much any old nonsense. Let's get to the results of Round Five before it gets any worse. This was a round that only contained one great shock- a draw between the Bulldogs and the Tigers. The Dogs pretty much got out of jail free after being 19 points down with only a couple of minutes to go, it was a brave effort to tie it all up. In other matches the Saints put Essendon away without much fuss; Sydney ran Geelong close for three quarters before being blown away in the last; Adelaide beat Freo in a low-scoring affair; Lance "Buddy" Franklin booted 8 as the Hawks kept their unbeaten run going away to Brisbane; Carlton made it two on the trot for the first time in years by extending Melbourne's misery; Port finally opened their account with a surprisingly comfortable away win in Perth against West Coast; and North pulled a rabbit out of the hat by beating Collingwood in a belter of a match on the Saturday night. Like the Tigers the following day, the Pies looked to have wrapped up the game but a series of clangers ( a 45 degree centre bounce by the umpire into the arms of a charging Roo; a miss from 25 metres out by established villain Alan Didak) led to the playing of the jauntiest of club songs when the siren finally sounded.
I'm not sure I've really done the AFL's expansion plans much justice in this wrap, perhaps we'll return to the topic in weeks to come. In the meantime cast your mind to better monikers for the expansion teams, and be kind to your goats. See you back here for Round 6.
22 April 2008
19 April 2008
Round Four: The Punch Heard Round the World
Picture the scene my friends- a cold weekend night in Sydney, all is as it should be until WHAM! An inexplicably foolish act leads to sirens, general consternation, and condemnation from all quarters. In the middle of it all is one sorry individual standing aghast wondering what just happened, and contemplating the consequences of one second of madness. Yes, that was the scene at the Waldorf Hotel in South Sydney on Friday night when yours truly managed to set off a smoke alarm which caused a hotel evacuation, after an ill-advised attempt to light a coal on a hotplate in order to fire up a balcony shisha. My compliments again to the NSW Fire Service for their rapid response, and my profound thanks to the hotel management for not passing on the call out fee.
Luckily for me my stuff-up was completely overshadowed the following night out at Homebush where big Swan Barry Hall, a trained boxer and frequent visitor to the tribunal, shocked the footy world by delivering a behind the play king hit to young Eagles defender Brent Staker. The whole incident was captured by the TV cameras. Although by now surely everyone has seen the footage perhaps you're reading this from a remote location such as Maputo or Accra and haven't seen it yet, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBKmzqrofrU Needless to say, there was a big outcry after such a cheap shot. It's true that Australian Rules football is a very physical game, and this physicality is a huge part of its appeal. But the AFL has taken pains in recent years to emphasise the difference between hard physical play and outright thuggery, and Hall's punch definitely fitted into the latter category. Staker's parents were furious, branding Hall a "weak mongrel" and calling for him to be banned for the season. Hall's father perhaps unwisely returned fire by blaming Staker for the incident. Barry Hall subsequently managed to rub himself out for a couple of months later in the game by breaking his wrist on a shonkily assembled advertising hoarding. At the tribunal Hall received a seven week suspension, including a 25% reduction for pleading guilty- thanks for that! At least this time, unlike his outrageous 2005 Preliminary Final appearance when he got off a striking charge scot-free, nobody was arguing that Hall was engaged in the play at the time of the incident.
So that was the big story from Round 4, but there were plenty of other points of interest. Once we were all allowed back into the hotel on Friday night I was able to enjoy, with shisha in hand (and doors and windows firmly closed) the Bulldogs-Essendon encounter. The Dogs started well out of the blocks, but the injury-depleted Dons staged a great fightback and held a slender lead at three quarter time. Unfortunately it was all one way traffic in the final term as the Dogs ran away with it, but the Bombers were certainly not disgraced and continue to provide great entertainment through their midfield pace. The first Saturday afternoon game was a very disappointing affair for Demons' supporters who, after the previous week's encouraging performance at Geelong, would have expected better things from their team against North Melbourne. North were untroubled in taking the points against the Dees. In the second, Geelong showed just how difficult they are going to be to defeat this season by giving St Kilda a start, then bombarding them into submission with goal after goal. There were two night matches, in the first Sydney overcame the shock of seeing Barry Hall lose his head (and Staker nearly lose his) to easily defeat the Eagles, who at this stage of the season are really missing departed guns Cousins and Judd. Over in Adelaide it was an extraordinary encounter between Port and Brisbane in the 2004 Grand Final replay. The Power were absolutely cruising to victory approaching three quarter time, holding a 47 point lead and with rain falling. Then the Lions ran amok, kicking the last two goals of the quarter and adding a further 9 goals to 2 in the last to record a most unlikely 20 point victory. Perhaps the Power were shellshocked by the sight of Brisbane's truly awful away jumper, second only to Hawthorn's in terms of garishness, although the Power themselves are no strangers to appalling guernsey choices. In any case they are in a bit of trouble at 0-4, a win here would have been very handy indeed.
The Sunday matches were a very mixed bag. Down in Tasmania the Hawks demonstrated that they are the team most likely to challenge the Cats in 2008 by easily dispensing with the Crows. Over in the west a ton of gamblers lost the shirts of their backs as Richmond recorded the unfathomablenest of 64 point victories over the hapless Dockers, the Tigers' first win at Subiaco since their last final year in 2001. Cult hero Matthew Richardson was the hero for the Tiges, kicking 4 goals from the wing. Freo's 2008 is already looking very shaky. But the big story of the afternoon was Carlton finally remembering how to win just in time to avoid their longest every losing streak, and to the joy of their fans doing it against their hated rivals Collingwood. The Urinator Fevola kicked 7 in a 23 point victory in front of a big MCG crowd of 77,873, many of whom sung the club song long and loud following the final siren. The Magpies will be filthy to have let this one slip, it would have been pencilled in as a likely victory for sure. And one can only imagine the reaction behind closed doors of the Pies supremo Eddie McGuire, he won't have enjoyed that performance one little bit.
So a bumper round of footy has demonstrated that droughts can be broken, huge margins can be overcome, king-hits are now taboo, and smoke alarms should be treated with due care and respect. The ladder is starting to take a discernable form, there's still three teams yet to taste the bitter pill of defeat, but for the two yet to open their 2008 account this weekend coming will be absolutely crucial. As always you'll get the best if occasionally belated wrap up right here, see you next week.
Luckily for me my stuff-up was completely overshadowed the following night out at Homebush where big Swan Barry Hall, a trained boxer and frequent visitor to the tribunal, shocked the footy world by delivering a behind the play king hit to young Eagles defender Brent Staker. The whole incident was captured by the TV cameras. Although by now surely everyone has seen the footage perhaps you're reading this from a remote location such as Maputo or Accra and haven't seen it yet, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBKmzqrofrU Needless to say, there was a big outcry after such a cheap shot. It's true that Australian Rules football is a very physical game, and this physicality is a huge part of its appeal. But the AFL has taken pains in recent years to emphasise the difference between hard physical play and outright thuggery, and Hall's punch definitely fitted into the latter category. Staker's parents were furious, branding Hall a "weak mongrel" and calling for him to be banned for the season. Hall's father perhaps unwisely returned fire by blaming Staker for the incident. Barry Hall subsequently managed to rub himself out for a couple of months later in the game by breaking his wrist on a shonkily assembled advertising hoarding. At the tribunal Hall received a seven week suspension, including a 25% reduction for pleading guilty- thanks for that! At least this time, unlike his outrageous 2005 Preliminary Final appearance when he got off a striking charge scot-free, nobody was arguing that Hall was engaged in the play at the time of the incident.
So that was the big story from Round 4, but there were plenty of other points of interest. Once we were all allowed back into the hotel on Friday night I was able to enjoy, with shisha in hand (and doors and windows firmly closed) the Bulldogs-Essendon encounter. The Dogs started well out of the blocks, but the injury-depleted Dons staged a great fightback and held a slender lead at three quarter time. Unfortunately it was all one way traffic in the final term as the Dogs ran away with it, but the Bombers were certainly not disgraced and continue to provide great entertainment through their midfield pace. The first Saturday afternoon game was a very disappointing affair for Demons' supporters who, after the previous week's encouraging performance at Geelong, would have expected better things from their team against North Melbourne. North were untroubled in taking the points against the Dees. In the second, Geelong showed just how difficult they are going to be to defeat this season by giving St Kilda a start, then bombarding them into submission with goal after goal. There were two night matches, in the first Sydney overcame the shock of seeing Barry Hall lose his head (and Staker nearly lose his) to easily defeat the Eagles, who at this stage of the season are really missing departed guns Cousins and Judd. Over in Adelaide it was an extraordinary encounter between Port and Brisbane in the 2004 Grand Final replay. The Power were absolutely cruising to victory approaching three quarter time, holding a 47 point lead and with rain falling. Then the Lions ran amok, kicking the last two goals of the quarter and adding a further 9 goals to 2 in the last to record a most unlikely 20 point victory. Perhaps the Power were shellshocked by the sight of Brisbane's truly awful away jumper, second only to Hawthorn's in terms of garishness, although the Power themselves are no strangers to appalling guernsey choices. In any case they are in a bit of trouble at 0-4, a win here would have been very handy indeed.
The Sunday matches were a very mixed bag. Down in Tasmania the Hawks demonstrated that they are the team most likely to challenge the Cats in 2008 by easily dispensing with the Crows. Over in the west a ton of gamblers lost the shirts of their backs as Richmond recorded the unfathomablenest of 64 point victories over the hapless Dockers, the Tigers' first win at Subiaco since their last final year in 2001. Cult hero Matthew Richardson was the hero for the Tiges, kicking 4 goals from the wing. Freo's 2008 is already looking very shaky. But the big story of the afternoon was Carlton finally remembering how to win just in time to avoid their longest every losing streak, and to the joy of their fans doing it against their hated rivals Collingwood. The Urinator Fevola kicked 7 in a 23 point victory in front of a big MCG crowd of 77,873, many of whom sung the club song long and loud following the final siren. The Magpies will be filthy to have let this one slip, it would have been pencilled in as a likely victory for sure. And one can only imagine the reaction behind closed doors of the Pies supremo Eddie McGuire, he won't have enjoyed that performance one little bit.
So a bumper round of footy has demonstrated that droughts can be broken, huge margins can be overcome, king-hits are now taboo, and smoke alarms should be treated with due care and respect. The ladder is starting to take a discernable form, there's still three teams yet to taste the bitter pill of defeat, but for the two yet to open their 2008 account this weekend coming will be absolutely crucial. As always you'll get the best if occasionally belated wrap up right here, see you next week.
10 April 2008
Round Three: Jimmy Crack Corn
Something of a rarity in the lead up to Round Three- the eyes of the footy world were glued firmly on the ABC. The national broadcaster hasn't been the focus of the VFL/AFL since, I believe, the 1987 season when for reasons long since lost in the mists of time Channel Seven lost the broadcast rights for one year and Aunty did her best to substitute. It wasn't a tremendous success at the time. For example, the ABC couldn't get it together to ensure that there were cameras at all grounds, so plenty of great marks and goals were lost to posterity. At the end of the season the rights went straight back to Channel Seven to the general relief of all.
But this week it was Enough Rope with Andrew Denton, featuring the one time king of football Wayne Carey, that commanded attention. Most TV shows featuring footballers are exercises in buffoonery and gags in bad taste- cough The Footy Show cough. This, however, was something very different indeed. Carey's off-field life has been a train wreck for many years, but in latter times the train has veered right off the rails and gone thundering through crowded shopping malls scattering screaming crowds in its path. The only bright side in the whole depressing saga is that unlike the similar travails of Carey's compatriot Gary Ablett Sr- possibly the only other person who could lay a claim to being as good on the field as Carey in the recent era- nobody has yet died as a result of partying with Carey. Denton's interview with Carey was difficult viewing. It's clear that Carey had a shocking childhood and is now really struggling in post-footy life. Even in his playing days Carey was a figure who inspired extreme reactions, it's doubtful that his performance on Enough Rope has converted too many into seeing him as a good bloke. However there might be a bit more sympathy for him as a flawed human being with a lot of demons to battle. Without wanting to make light of Carey's situation, it's clear that he has an issue with partying in general- in particular knowing when to leave. I'd like to take this opportunity to help him out by referring him to the indispensable 1950s educational video "What Makes A Good Party"- this clearly indicates that it's all over once the guest sits at the piano and leads everyone in a rousing singalong of "Jimmy Crack Corn". Right after the hat making contest. Enjoy it here- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvivEqxjsI.
To the footy- Round 3 was Rivalry Round, the AFL's annual attempt to cash in on the genuine rivalries and to attempt to convince the supporters of various other teams that they have a deep seated reason for disliking another beyond standing in the way of the acquisition of the four points. Take, for example, St Kilda and the Western Bulldogs. What's their rivalry about, which team's single premiership was more iconic? Which club is the "second team" of more Victorian supporters? It smacks a bit of the Onion's parody headline about a war between Uruguay and Paraguay over which country was "guay-er". Despite the fairly dubious nature of their "rivalry", the two sides did turn on a cracker to open Round 3. The Saints shot away to a six goal quarter time lead and all looked dire for the Doggies. But the game turned 180 degrees in the next three quarters as the Bullies exploded into action and blasted 18 goals to the Saints' 6 to run away with a most unlikely 38 point win. St Kilda's capitulation sparked gloomy predictions that their season was all but over- possibly a bit premature in Round 3. We'll see how they bounce back next week.
The Saturday arvo saw the Wrap engaged on a cycling tour around various capital venues interspersed with various sporting pursuits and beer drinking as part of the pre-wedding celebrations of a good buddy of the Hawks pursuasion. While I excelled at the cycling and beer drinking, my lawn bowls were ordinary, my petanque left a lot to be decided, I was less than successful on the foosball table and the less said about ultimate frisbee the better. Still, much fun was had by all and the icing on the cake for the groom-to-be came with the announcement that after trailing all day the Hawks had come home with a wet sail to overhaul North Melbourne. Apparently Hawthorn led for only nine minutes of the entire match, but they were ahead when the bell rang and that's all that matters. They're looking pretty good at this early stage of the season, are Hawthorn.
Over in the west it was the latest installment of the Western Rollerderby, a game that represents a genuine rivalry in anyone's book. Freo scored a much needed win over the Eagles in a typically tough encounter. Up in Brisbane it was a match between the northern outpost clubs Brisbane and Sydney, both of whom will face state rivals in coming seasons- more on that in future weeks. The Swans have had the wood over the Lions in recent years and were able to extend their run of wins in this fixture.
The most eagerly anticipated Saturday fixture was on at the MCG, where Essendon and Carlton, the two clubs most successful in premiership terms but now both definitely in rebuilding mode wrote another chapter in their own recent rivalry. A lot went right for Carlton on the night. The Urinator kicked eight goals. The Juddernaught had his best game in a blue (or white) jumper. Their latest number 1 draft pick Matthew Kreuzer played one of the best debut games in recent memory. And they kicked a pretty respectable 21 goals for the night. Despite all that, it was the jaunty notes of "See the Bombers Fly Up" that rang through the night air at the conclusion of a modern day classic, the Dons saluting by 16 points. At 150 points to 134, this was one of the highest scoring matches since the 1972 Grand Final between the Blues and Richmond, when both teams abandoned defence for all out attack. There were no less than 25 individual goalkickers and no shortage of highlights for the end of season video. Bombers speedster Andrew Lovett provided two blinding goals in his first match back from internally-imposed suspension, you won't see too many better in 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjMyb6mR0zU. Carlton have now equaled their longest losing streak of 13 games which dates back to the horse and cart era, perhaps all of that tanking last year has contributed to a club mindset that no longer knows how to win?
Luckily for the Blues, the Demons are also in a fairly decrepit state just at the moment. They faced the daunting prospect on the Sunday of taking on the rampant Cats at Kardinia Park on the same afternoon that Geelong unfurled its 2007 AFL and VFL premiership flags. Given that the Dees had lost its opening two matches by a combined total of 199 points and the Cats had produced a near perfect performance the previous week against Essendon, it was no surprise that the odds being offered on a Melbourne win were the longest in history. One punter allegedly put $100,000 on Geelong to win back just $4000. He would have been gulping nervously halfway through the opening quarter as the Demons stormed out of the blocks to kick the opening three goals. Perhaps the Cats were still to warm up after standing in the cold for half an hour waiting for skydivers to descend with the premiership flags. Once they did get going they were able to dispense of the Melbourne challenge without any real problems, but for Dees fans it was a Dee-cidedly improved performance on the unDee-niably lamentable efforts in the previous two weeks. Although the game never hit any real heights the Cats fans were justifiably excited by the performance of young gun Tom Hawkins- the Tomahawk is only 19 and still developing but he is going to be an absolute superstar in future years. Seeing the crowd's excitement when he marked was reminiscent of watching Matthew Lloyd in his early days- the future there plain to see.
Over at the MCG it was the Tiges versus the Pies, two very big clubs but again without any real rivalry to speak of outside the 1980 Grand Final (and you won't find too many Collingwood fans who wish to speak of that dark day). No such problems for the Carringbush in this match though, they were never troubled and took the four points without breaking a sweat. Round Three was concluded over the border with a brutal Showdown encounter, the Crows triumphed by a kick over the Power as players went down like ninepins. Port join the hapless Blues and Demons at the bottom of the table, winless after three rounds. The Crows are gathering momentum for another possible finals tilt.
So after three rounds the ladder is divided nicely into semi-equal castes: three unbeaten teams, five with two wins, five with one win and three yet to trouble the scorers. Can the Untouchables at the bottom trouble the Brahmins at the top? Can Carlton recall how to win or is an unwelcome record on its way to Princes Park? Will that Geelong punter be game enough to place another bet this season? Find out the answers to these and more right here at the Wrap, see you next week.
But this week it was Enough Rope with Andrew Denton, featuring the one time king of football Wayne Carey, that commanded attention. Most TV shows featuring footballers are exercises in buffoonery and gags in bad taste- cough The Footy Show cough. This, however, was something very different indeed. Carey's off-field life has been a train wreck for many years, but in latter times the train has veered right off the rails and gone thundering through crowded shopping malls scattering screaming crowds in its path. The only bright side in the whole depressing saga is that unlike the similar travails of Carey's compatriot Gary Ablett Sr- possibly the only other person who could lay a claim to being as good on the field as Carey in the recent era- nobody has yet died as a result of partying with Carey. Denton's interview with Carey was difficult viewing. It's clear that Carey had a shocking childhood and is now really struggling in post-footy life. Even in his playing days Carey was a figure who inspired extreme reactions, it's doubtful that his performance on Enough Rope has converted too many into seeing him as a good bloke. However there might be a bit more sympathy for him as a flawed human being with a lot of demons to battle. Without wanting to make light of Carey's situation, it's clear that he has an issue with partying in general- in particular knowing when to leave. I'd like to take this opportunity to help him out by referring him to the indispensable 1950s educational video "What Makes A Good Party"- this clearly indicates that it's all over once the guest sits at the piano and leads everyone in a rousing singalong of "Jimmy Crack Corn". Right after the hat making contest. Enjoy it here- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvivEqxjsI.
To the footy- Round 3 was Rivalry Round, the AFL's annual attempt to cash in on the genuine rivalries and to attempt to convince the supporters of various other teams that they have a deep seated reason for disliking another beyond standing in the way of the acquisition of the four points. Take, for example, St Kilda and the Western Bulldogs. What's their rivalry about, which team's single premiership was more iconic? Which club is the "second team" of more Victorian supporters? It smacks a bit of the Onion's parody headline about a war between Uruguay and Paraguay over which country was "guay-er". Despite the fairly dubious nature of their "rivalry", the two sides did turn on a cracker to open Round 3. The Saints shot away to a six goal quarter time lead and all looked dire for the Doggies. But the game turned 180 degrees in the next three quarters as the Bullies exploded into action and blasted 18 goals to the Saints' 6 to run away with a most unlikely 38 point win. St Kilda's capitulation sparked gloomy predictions that their season was all but over- possibly a bit premature in Round 3. We'll see how they bounce back next week.
The Saturday arvo saw the Wrap engaged on a cycling tour around various capital venues interspersed with various sporting pursuits and beer drinking as part of the pre-wedding celebrations of a good buddy of the Hawks pursuasion. While I excelled at the cycling and beer drinking, my lawn bowls were ordinary, my petanque left a lot to be decided, I was less than successful on the foosball table and the less said about ultimate frisbee the better. Still, much fun was had by all and the icing on the cake for the groom-to-be came with the announcement that after trailing all day the Hawks had come home with a wet sail to overhaul North Melbourne. Apparently Hawthorn led for only nine minutes of the entire match, but they were ahead when the bell rang and that's all that matters. They're looking pretty good at this early stage of the season, are Hawthorn.
Over in the west it was the latest installment of the Western Rollerderby, a game that represents a genuine rivalry in anyone's book. Freo scored a much needed win over the Eagles in a typically tough encounter. Up in Brisbane it was a match between the northern outpost clubs Brisbane and Sydney, both of whom will face state rivals in coming seasons- more on that in future weeks. The Swans have had the wood over the Lions in recent years and were able to extend their run of wins in this fixture.
The most eagerly anticipated Saturday fixture was on at the MCG, where Essendon and Carlton, the two clubs most successful in premiership terms but now both definitely in rebuilding mode wrote another chapter in their own recent rivalry. A lot went right for Carlton on the night. The Urinator kicked eight goals. The Juddernaught had his best game in a blue (or white) jumper. Their latest number 1 draft pick Matthew Kreuzer played one of the best debut games in recent memory. And they kicked a pretty respectable 21 goals for the night. Despite all that, it was the jaunty notes of "See the Bombers Fly Up" that rang through the night air at the conclusion of a modern day classic, the Dons saluting by 16 points. At 150 points to 134, this was one of the highest scoring matches since the 1972 Grand Final between the Blues and Richmond, when both teams abandoned defence for all out attack. There were no less than 25 individual goalkickers and no shortage of highlights for the end of season video. Bombers speedster Andrew Lovett provided two blinding goals in his first match back from internally-imposed suspension, you won't see too many better in 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjMyb6mR0zU. Carlton have now equaled their longest losing streak of 13 games which dates back to the horse and cart era, perhaps all of that tanking last year has contributed to a club mindset that no longer knows how to win?
Luckily for the Blues, the Demons are also in a fairly decrepit state just at the moment. They faced the daunting prospect on the Sunday of taking on the rampant Cats at Kardinia Park on the same afternoon that Geelong unfurled its 2007 AFL and VFL premiership flags. Given that the Dees had lost its opening two matches by a combined total of 199 points and the Cats had produced a near perfect performance the previous week against Essendon, it was no surprise that the odds being offered on a Melbourne win were the longest in history. One punter allegedly put $100,000 on Geelong to win back just $4000. He would have been gulping nervously halfway through the opening quarter as the Demons stormed out of the blocks to kick the opening three goals. Perhaps the Cats were still to warm up after standing in the cold for half an hour waiting for skydivers to descend with the premiership flags. Once they did get going they were able to dispense of the Melbourne challenge without any real problems, but for Dees fans it was a Dee-cidedly improved performance on the unDee-niably lamentable efforts in the previous two weeks. Although the game never hit any real heights the Cats fans were justifiably excited by the performance of young gun Tom Hawkins- the Tomahawk is only 19 and still developing but he is going to be an absolute superstar in future years. Seeing the crowd's excitement when he marked was reminiscent of watching Matthew Lloyd in his early days- the future there plain to see.
Over at the MCG it was the Tiges versus the Pies, two very big clubs but again without any real rivalry to speak of outside the 1980 Grand Final (and you won't find too many Collingwood fans who wish to speak of that dark day). No such problems for the Carringbush in this match though, they were never troubled and took the four points without breaking a sweat. Round Three was concluded over the border with a brutal Showdown encounter, the Crows triumphed by a kick over the Power as players went down like ninepins. Port join the hapless Blues and Demons at the bottom of the table, winless after three rounds. The Crows are gathering momentum for another possible finals tilt.
So after three rounds the ladder is divided nicely into semi-equal castes: three unbeaten teams, five with two wins, five with one win and three yet to trouble the scorers. Can the Untouchables at the bottom trouble the Brahmins at the top? Can Carlton recall how to win or is an unwelcome record on its way to Princes Park? Will that Geelong punter be game enough to place another bet this season? Find out the answers to these and more right here at the Wrap, see you next week.
07 April 2008
Round Two: A Long Week of Unnecessary White Jumpers
A week is a long time in footy, goes the adage. But how long is a week? In Round Two, Geelong and Richmond had very long weeks indeed- ten whole days. Essendon and North Melbourne, on the other hand, found themselves fronting up for their second outing of the season after a mere six days off. But was the longer break of any advantage? Well, we'll get to that. Round Two can be summarised in one word- shellackings. With a few honourable exceptions it was one drubbing after another, leaving some teams and their supporters gleefully ascendent and others glumly contemplating the long cold winter ahead- although with the silver lining of a possible number 1 draft pick to ease the pain.
Before we get into all things football I'd like to offer an apology to all those who felt that I defamed young Magpie Sharrod Wellingham last week on the grounds that he had a ridiculous made-up first name. Particular apologies to my dear friends Shodney, Grillip and Brimothy. Also to all those who advised me that "Jarryd" is an incorrect spelling of that particular moniker- thanks for putting me right on that one, Jarrod. Also cheers to you, Jared, and you too Jharreid.
The opening game of Round 2 was the exception to the shellackings rule, with the travelling Magpies somehow falling short by just 2 points against the Brisbane Lions after looking home and hosed at three quarter time. There was much muttering amongst the black and white army about the umpiring performance in the final quarter, with the Magpie faithful's general consensus being that the men in tangerine had taken steps in the final stanza to equal a hitherto lopsided freekick count. Both of the Saturday afternoon games, however, were anything but close encounters. At the MCG the Bulldogs continued the Demons' horrific start to 2008 with a 95 point annihilation- Dee-ja vu for the Redlegs supporters, another Dee-bacle of a performance which will have severely Dee-moralised all involved. A particularly tough debut to the coaching ranks for Dee-n Bailey, who must be wondering what he's let himself in for. At AAMI stadium the Crows ended their recent run of outs against the West Coast Eagles, doing it easily to the tune of 76 points. The Eagles' Western Australian compatriots Freo also went down in Round 2, with the valiant Hawks getting home in a close one. This game was most notable for Hawthorn's mystifying decision to wear their all white away strip- given that they are quite possibly the only team in the competition whose normal jumper doesn't clash with the Dockers' technicolour yawn of a guernsey, the logic to this one was not immediately apparent.
Another side taking to the field in an all-white jumper for no good reason was the confusingly monikered Navy Blues, whose run of losses extended to thirteen as they went down to St Kilda at the Dome. The Blues are evidently finding it difficult to shake last year's game plan, as they shot away to an early lead before easing off and allowing the Saints to run away with the points. The Saints, mercifully, were slightly more entertaining than their diabolical performance the previous week. So too were their Round One opponents Sydney, who were evidently stung by the universal criticism that greeted their borefest the previous week and were completely unrecognisable against the Power. Gone was the error-filled chipping and flooding, replaced with an attacking purposeful style of play which wiped Port off the SCG. The hypothetical eight year old from last week would have been inspired, ripping his Waratahs posters from his bedroom wall and demanding a red and white mini-football to kick around the lounge room to annoy his sister with in the middle of Great Celebrity Dance-off or whatever it's called. A terrible start to Port Adelaide's 2008 quest for redemption though, two straight defeats to open with and a very ordinary percentage to boot.
And so to the match of the round, the reigning premiers Geelong against last week's excitement machines Essendon. And once more speed and skill was very much in evidence. Unfortunately for the Dons faithful those demonstrating speed and skill in Round Two were exclusively wearing blue and white hoops. It was all Geelong as they demonstrated quite firmly that a good win in Round One does not a premier make. The only real bright spot for the Bombers was that they at least kept the final margin within 100 points, only just though, they lost by 99. There was at least one muttered "Knights...whadda bum!" from the notoriously fickle Bombers supporters but most were philosophical. Geelong are a pretty damn good team, particularly when they're coming off a ten day to six break!
The ten day break was of no assistance though to the Tigers, who fell short against the resurgent North Melbourne. Tigers' coach Terry Wallace put the Kangeroos' vastly improved performance down to the short break, arguing that the Roos had copped so much criticism after capitulating to the Bombers that their win was a fait accompli. Surely, by that logic, they would have done even better if they'd copped criticism for the extra four days? In any case, a 41 point win by the Northerners resulted and their 2008 campaign is now under way after a misfire in Round One.
So with two rounds now played it's the Cats, Saints, Bulldogs and Hawks leading the way, ahead of a logjam of clubs and the winless Blues, Power, Dockers and below all the Demons still to open their accounts. But there's still 20 rounds to play and as we've seen a week can be a very long time in football. See you back here for Round Three.
Before we get into all things football I'd like to offer an apology to all those who felt that I defamed young Magpie Sharrod Wellingham last week on the grounds that he had a ridiculous made-up first name. Particular apologies to my dear friends Shodney, Grillip and Brimothy. Also to all those who advised me that "Jarryd" is an incorrect spelling of that particular moniker- thanks for putting me right on that one, Jarrod. Also cheers to you, Jared, and you too Jharreid.
The opening game of Round 2 was the exception to the shellackings rule, with the travelling Magpies somehow falling short by just 2 points against the Brisbane Lions after looking home and hosed at three quarter time. There was much muttering amongst the black and white army about the umpiring performance in the final quarter, with the Magpie faithful's general consensus being that the men in tangerine had taken steps in the final stanza to equal a hitherto lopsided freekick count. Both of the Saturday afternoon games, however, were anything but close encounters. At the MCG the Bulldogs continued the Demons' horrific start to 2008 with a 95 point annihilation- Dee-ja vu for the Redlegs supporters, another Dee-bacle of a performance which will have severely Dee-moralised all involved. A particularly tough debut to the coaching ranks for Dee-n Bailey, who must be wondering what he's let himself in for. At AAMI stadium the Crows ended their recent run of outs against the West Coast Eagles, doing it easily to the tune of 76 points. The Eagles' Western Australian compatriots Freo also went down in Round 2, with the valiant Hawks getting home in a close one. This game was most notable for Hawthorn's mystifying decision to wear their all white away strip- given that they are quite possibly the only team in the competition whose normal jumper doesn't clash with the Dockers' technicolour yawn of a guernsey, the logic to this one was not immediately apparent.
Another side taking to the field in an all-white jumper for no good reason was the confusingly monikered Navy Blues, whose run of losses extended to thirteen as they went down to St Kilda at the Dome. The Blues are evidently finding it difficult to shake last year's game plan, as they shot away to an early lead before easing off and allowing the Saints to run away with the points. The Saints, mercifully, were slightly more entertaining than their diabolical performance the previous week. So too were their Round One opponents Sydney, who were evidently stung by the universal criticism that greeted their borefest the previous week and were completely unrecognisable against the Power. Gone was the error-filled chipping and flooding, replaced with an attacking purposeful style of play which wiped Port off the SCG. The hypothetical eight year old from last week would have been inspired, ripping his Waratahs posters from his bedroom wall and demanding a red and white mini-football to kick around the lounge room to annoy his sister with in the middle of Great Celebrity Dance-off or whatever it's called. A terrible start to Port Adelaide's 2008 quest for redemption though, two straight defeats to open with and a very ordinary percentage to boot.
And so to the match of the round, the reigning premiers Geelong against last week's excitement machines Essendon. And once more speed and skill was very much in evidence. Unfortunately for the Dons faithful those demonstrating speed and skill in Round Two were exclusively wearing blue and white hoops. It was all Geelong as they demonstrated quite firmly that a good win in Round One does not a premier make. The only real bright spot for the Bombers was that they at least kept the final margin within 100 points, only just though, they lost by 99. There was at least one muttered "Knights...whadda bum!" from the notoriously fickle Bombers supporters but most were philosophical. Geelong are a pretty damn good team, particularly when they're coming off a ten day to six break!
The ten day break was of no assistance though to the Tigers, who fell short against the resurgent North Melbourne. Tigers' coach Terry Wallace put the Kangeroos' vastly improved performance down to the short break, arguing that the Roos had copped so much criticism after capitulating to the Bombers that their win was a fait accompli. Surely, by that logic, they would have done even better if they'd copped criticism for the extra four days? In any case, a 41 point win by the Northerners resulted and their 2008 campaign is now under way after a misfire in Round One.
So with two rounds now played it's the Cats, Saints, Bulldogs and Hawks leading the way, ahead of a logjam of clubs and the winless Blues, Power, Dockers and below all the Demons still to open their accounts. But there's still 20 rounds to play and as we've seen a week can be a very long time in football. See you back here for Round Three.
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