Round Two: Krusty, Ringo, Capper and Diamond John Brumby

Talk about coincidence- in Round One's wrap I wrote about Poochie the ill-conceived cartoon dog, then lo and behold there he was stinking up the joint in the following night's Simpsons episode! Having seen the episode again, I stand by my comparison of Krusty's promotion of Poochie and the build-up to the Cousins-Judd rematch. But then again I am a hardcore Krusty the Clown fan, and after two decades of the Simpsons almost everything can be referenced to him or one of the other characters. Take the Beatles semi-reunion (Paul and Ringo) that took place in the lead-up to Round Two, a great event for those there but what charity were the Fab Two benefitting? Meditation for Kids! All I could think of was Krusty out the front of the Motion Sickness Benefit telethon, overcome with emotion, "Waugh...you should see the bus they came to the studio in!" Speaking of Ringo, that name is also one familiar to viewers of longrunning soapie Neighbours, who after thirty odd years are clearly running out of convincing names (Ringo's offsider is named Zeke, and Toadfish Rebecchi is still living on Ramsey Street too). Ringo and Zeke, as it turns out, are right into their footy and I was lucky enough some months ago to switch on the telly to see the boys lining up for Erinsborough for the Grand Final with none other than legendary four-time Richmond premiership coach Tom Hafey on the sidelines as the guest coach! Pretty tough on Erinsborough's actual coach, who had evidently got the team to the grand final and then been shunted aside for the big game. But super entertaining viewing watching Tommy nod sagely on the sidelines at every Ringo mark or Zeke drop punt. The best AFL guest spot on Neighbours since ex-Swans pretty boy Warwick Capper turned up circa-1987 in order to try and recruit Kylie Minogue as a Swanette.

And it's fair to say that Richmond fans wouldn't mind getting Tom Hafey back in the coaches' box, even in a guest capacity. After their abysmal Round One appearance, many feared that their trip down the highway to Geelong would be yet another chapter in the longrunning series that is Cat Goes Medieval On Tiger. But surprisingly this time around the Tiges were very competitive and gave Geelong a genuine scare before the Cats got home. The game started conventionally enough, with the Cats well up at halftime and seemingly home and hosed. But an eight goal Richmond third term had them up by a point at the final change. The Cats were able to pull away in the last to record their 44th victory from 47 outings (a pity one of the other three was a Grand Final). But it's far from clear this year whether the Cats have the aura of invincibility that they've carried over the last two seasons.

One team that does seem to be growing such an aura though is St Kilda, who pulled off a hard fought win interstate against the Crows. Adelaide stuck like a limpus to the Saints for three quarters, but the visitors were able to run away with it in the last for a rare win in South Australia. And there was an unhappy postscript for the Crows, with their 2008 best and fairest Nathan Bock arrested the next night for (allegedly) drunkenly striking his girlfriend. All in all Round Two not one the Crows will remember fondly. Nor too will the Jones family of Melbourne; first son Nathan was part of the Dees' defeat at the hands of Collingwood, then his father was bashed in front of his other son after the game by a trio of cowardly louts. Happily violence among spectators is a far less common occurrence that it is in other codes ie. European soccer. But Victorian Premier John Brumby, much like his Springfield counterpart "Diamond" Joe Quimby, knows a populist issue when he sees one. Whereas Diamond Joe might declare a bear patrol tax, Diamond John promptly declared a summit on AFL spectator violence, much to the mystification of AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou who wasn't informed. Hopefully this misguided bit of nonsense will fade away by midseason.

Two Saturday night fixtures in Round Two. In Melbourne the Blues sparked even more excitement in their already over-excited supporters (and hello to everybody at the Canberra Carlton Supporters Club, who I maligned in last week's Wrap) by defeating Brisbane in a thrilling encounter. The Blues are starting to believe that their long decade out in the cold is about to come to an end. Up in Sydney there was a shock result, with defending premiers Hawthorn going down for the second time in 2009 at the hands of the Swans, in a result few outside the red and white faithful would have picked.

Another shock result over in the west on Sunday, with unfancied West Coast giving the Power a right bath. Perhaps Port's latest abysmal clash jumper was to blame for their poor showing, we all know the Power have a troubled history in this regard. Check it out here- http://www.portadelaidefc.com.au/tabid/6038/default.aspx?newsid=70982. And where exactly is the clash between the existing Eagles and Power jumpers, anyway! Won't somebody stop the change jumper madness, there's a challenge for you Brumby!

Two very different matches back in Melbourne to complete Round Two, at the MCG the Bulldogs prevailed over the Roos in a lowscoring armwrestle encounter to keep their unbeaten start to the season alive. The Dogs had to really fight for it after North pulled their way back to just two points down after being nearly five goals down. Across town a small Docklands crowd was treated to a fine display by a young Bombers side which, despite nil returns from veterans Matthew Lloyd and Scott Lucas and many a skill error, convincingly defeated the massively disappointing Freo Dockers. It looks like being another long season for the Purple Haze, two rounds in and they're already all but gone. But many encouraging signs this week for Essendon supporters after their insipid Round One performance. Perhaps best of all was the performance of two Bomber debutants: David Zaharakis looked great and is the first Z I can recall in the AFL since Bulldog Zeno Tzatzaris way back in the '80s (please drop a comment if there's been one in the meantime); and Essendon has finally got on the Irish bandwagon with young Michael Quinn who's been in the country all of about twenty minutes but looks to be a player. Quinn looks about twelve and sounded in interview like a Gaelic version of the Pimply Faced Kid, but by all accounts he's far less temperamental than his compatriot Setanta O'hAilpin over at Carlton which can't be a bad thing. Good signs for the future of Windy Hill.

And so concludes the Worst. Wrap. Ever. Hope you enjoyed, hopefully Round Three will appear very shortly also.