22 September 2009

Preliminary Final 2: Cats vs Magpies/ Brownlow count

Well, one of the 2009 preliminary finals might have been a match for the ages, but the other was a massive anticlimax, at least in the second half. The Magpies have been one of the better sides going around this year, but they were made to look decidedly second rate after halftime by a Cats side with redemption on its mind. Indeed, after the Pies opened with the first two goals of the game, 17 of the next 21 went the way of Geelong, including 6 to nil in the final quarter. By this stage most Collingwood supporters had made a beeline for the exits, with only the hard core sticking it out to the bitter end. The big question was: was former wrestling champ Hulk Hogan among them? The Hulkster had appeared as if from nowhere at halftime, delighting the crowd with a few trademark moves and then delivering a fairly well executed handball into the stands. Perhaps Mick Malthouse should have whacked a Magpie jumper on him and kept him out on the ground for the second half, he couldn't have done any worse than those out there in black and white. A disappointing end to the season for the Magpie army, but the Cats faithful will have watched with a real sense of excitement as their side roared into its third straight Grand Final - it will take a good team to stop them reversing last year's disappointment.

And St Kilda, make no mistake, is a very good team indeed. Winning 20 home and away games is no small achievement, and it could easily have been 22- their two losses were by less than a kick, both against teams they were unbackable favourites to demolish. It's terrific that once again we've got a Grand Final between the two unquestionably best teams in the season thus far, and if the big match is half as good as the Round 14 match where the two sides slugged out a one goal result (Saints won) then we're in for a mighty treat.

Grand Final week kicked off in customary fashion, with a couple of drunken incidents at the Brownlow Medal count. This time, as in so many cases before, Carlton's Brendan Fevola was the main offender. Fev was, perhaps foolishly, handed the microphone for the fairly tired Footy Show's "Streettalk" segment, replacing the fairly tired Sam Newman who had himself managed to once more disgrace himself repeatedly. Too boring to explain exactly why, but Sam was on the nose with the footy community to the extent that he was persona non grata at the big night. As indeed was Fev afterwards, after putting in a performance that Mickey Rourke on a pub crawl at Schoolies would be proud of. Still, he did better than ex-Brownlow winner Jason Akermanis, Aka went slightly too hard at the Bulldogs' Mad Monday celebrations and didn't make it to the Brownlow at all. Which disappointed his wife somewhat, as she'd already bought the dress and gotten the fake tan done. Hell hath no fury like a woman terracotted for nothing.

Inside the actual event, though, things finally went according to plan for Gary Ablett Jr, who finally won after being favourite for three consecutive years. It was a deserved victory, the Little Maestro has done the seemingly impossible by putting his illustrious father into the shade, and there's no reason why he can't win at least another medal in the time he's got left. The count was decided by Round 20, which would have come as a huge relief to Ablett who'd been reeled in at the death in previous years. For a while it looked as though one of the Saints might spoil Gazza's night - and they'll certainly be aiming to spoil this weekend for him - but they ended up spoiling each other's chances by taking votes from each other. Former winner Chris Judd of the Blues came runner up with a highly respectable 22 votes, enough to win in many years, but this year he was well behind, Ablett scored a lazy 30.

But apart from the actual result, and the opportunity to drink like a lunatic, the Brownlow night is all about the wives and girlfriends of the players concerned. It's an opportunity to shine for the WAGs, and most of them get it right. There's always one or two who don't, however, and this year it was the hitherto unheard of Brynne Gordon, soon to be wife of disgraced ex-medico and one time owner of the Sydney Swans in their 1980s-Warwick-Capper-in-the-short-shorts-pink-helicopters-best-forgotten-all-round-era, Geoffrey Edelsten. Gordon turned up in an outfit Britney Spears would have balked at as "a tad raunchy", check it out here- http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/afl/double-barrel-blast-for-brynne-gordon-over-that-dress/story-fn423fp2-1225778330577 But the real question surely went unanswered: who the hell invited Edelsten to attend the Brownlow in the first place? Was it an 80s theme this year? Was Capper sitting up the front somewhere in the gold lame shorts, perhaps escorted by Mark "Jacko" Jackson or Rene "The Incredible Hulk" Kink? A dumber call than whoever decided that Fev was a safe bet to handle a live microphone.

So with just days to go until season 2009 disappears into the rear-vision mirror of memory, who should you be putting your hard earned on this weekend? Well, it's a tough call. On the one hand, St Kilda have been the best performed side in 2009. They beat Geelong in their only clash, have an unbelievably stingy defence, and will go into the big game with 99% of the neutral support given their long wait for a flag. On the other hand, Geelong have a massive motivation to prove that last year's defeat was a blip rather than an indication of some greater flaw, and have far more big game experience than their opponents. A lot will depend on how their forward line operates, if they kick like they did last year then you would have to think that they'll struggle to get a winning score. At the other end, the battle between Nick Riedwolt and whoever the Cats put on him, probably Matthew Scarlett, will be pivotal. Riedwolt has had a blinder in the finals so far, and if he gets a run on then he could just about get the Saints home. In the middle, it's a clash between the Rolls Royces and the Aston Martins, getting on top here will be vital. My call- Saints. No, Cats. Actually, I have no idea, it's going to be a belter.

Enjoy the big day, let's hope the entertainment both pre-game and during the big match is worthy of the event. If you're enjoying a drink or two remember the tragic experiences of Fev and Aka and keep it in moderation! See you back here for the Big Game Wrap.

4 comments:

Kirsten said...

A top wrap once again, Stu! "Hell hath no fury like a woman terracotted for nothing" wins for the best line!

Nobody appears to have any idea why that sleazebag Edelsten was invited, even the AFL people don't know! And we should all be counting our blessings- an interview with his fiancee yesterday revealed that she'd added the crystal bra after deciding her frock was a bit skimpy without it.

I don't know what Carlton or the league can do about Fev. I feel very sorry for his wife- 6.5 months pregnant with their third, and having to explain to their daughters why Daddy's a cretin. :(

Looking forward to the Grand Final- it'll be a top match!

lsn said...

Edelsten obviously has pull somewhere with someone. God alone knows who, they're not admitting it.

Thank God his fiance has some sense though - that would have been one interesting post-shower wrap dress without the bra.

I have to admit to no sympathy for Fevola's wife - she married him. Some sympathy for Aka's wife though - yes, she married him as well, but she appears to be able to put the foot down a bit better.

Am completely over Mad Monday though - wasn't that the entire purpose of the footy trip? Why do we now have to put up with drunken footballers roaming the streets because they don't have to play (and why aren't they doing this on Saturday night?) Bugger off and annoy the locals somewhere else, preferably somewhere with crocodiles that can eat them when they get drunk and fall in the water.

lsn said...

Adding to the 'Mad Monday' idiocy - there's now reports of U17s taking the day off school because they want to celebrate it.

Um, no. For starters they can't drink legally, and for seconds it's complete rubbish anyway.

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