Back in 1990, the newly-monikered AFL made a decision to further expand the national competition by extending an invitation to our teutonic brethren from the Barossa- the Adelaide Crows were born, and came on board for the 1991 season. They immediately had an impact on the competition- the Crow Throw was introduced, the number of mulletted footballers rose exponentially, and with an odd number of teams in the competition the AFL was forced to introduce a bye into the draw for the first time since University fell over at the outbreak of the First World War. Who now remembers the bye? Or University, for that matter? The Students or Professors as they were predictably nicknamed, weren't terribly competitive during their brief foray into the big leagues-playing them was arguably the equivalent of a bye in itself.
Back in the early 90s, though, coping with the bye was the subject of much analytical deep thinking and many a newspaper column. Would encountering the bye provide a team with a much needed break or would it instead destroy forward momentum? Was it even possible to win the week following the bye? Opinions differed, and many a tree fell to provide newsprint on the issue until the Freo Dockers entered the competition in 1995 and put a stop to it by putting the bye out of business.
Until, that is, the AFL decided to introduce a split round in order to give the players a week's break in the middle of the season. Many formats have been tried for the split round. At one stage all of the teams got the same week off, resulting in a completely football-free weekend in the middle of winter. Not too popular, that one, except possibly amongst long-suffering football widows. They've also been rounds split 7-1, 4-4, and this year's variety of 5-3. The same old bye discussions have come to the fore leading into the split round- how best should a team cope with the enormous distraction posed by a week off? Presumably next year Freo will adopt a different approach to having a team booze-up at a nightclub in the middle of Darwin (although maybe they'll do it again but just not invite Chris Tarrant). The weekend just gone provided the first on-field showing of how six clubs coped with the break- some a whole lot better than others.
For many weeks the battle between Melbourne and Richmond had been eagerly awaited by footy fans of many stripes- at last, one of the two sides was guaranteed to win (unless of course they did a Carlton-Essendon from last year and couldn't even beat each other). Melbourne had unfortunately spoiled the lead-up by actually winning a couple of matches against quite respectable opposition, and were warm favourites against the still winless Tigers. By halftime however the Dees were ten goals in arrears, and the game was all but over. So, as it turned out, was Neale Daniher's ten year stint as coach of Melbourne. So the week off had proved a fizzer for the Demons but a shot in the arm for Richmond, who finally got to sing their club song and did so loudly and lustily. Does the break help or hinder? Inconclusive.
No Saturday arvo games again this week, we had to wait until the next evening for our footy fix and it came courtesy of the now traditional (since 2003 I think) clash between the Swans and the Magpies up in Sydney. Sydney came into this game brimming with confidence after beating Hawthorn away; Collingwood had lost to the aforementioned Melbourne and looked ordinary doing it. Naturally enough Collingwood never looked like losing on Saturday night and have gotten nothing but positive press all week (right up until Friday when it emerged that Alan Didak had been out drinking with the alleged CBD murderer a couple of days before). But they were great on Saturday night and their new Irishman in the backline is a gem. Not only did he pick up 20-odd possessions in his 12th game of Australian Rules Football ever, he correctly noted that Collingwood was "taking it one game at a toim" in the post-match interview. A natural.
The final game for the weekend was over in Perth between the Eagles, who are just about unbeatable west of the Nullabor and St Kilda, whose season has been plagued by injury and off-field disturbance. The odds on a Saints win were a pretty inviting 6.25- not bad in a two horse race. Canny punters who put on a couple of bob in the knowledge that it was Rob Harvey's 350th match and the Saints might lift to match the occasion would have been clinking glasses of top shelf sparkling wine in the second quarter as the Saints shot out to a 44 point lead in front of the stunned Weagles crowd. By three quarter time however the wine would have ceased to sparkle as the Eagles piled on goal after goal to bring themselves back to within a goal. The smart money would have been on the Saints to capitulate in the final stages, but instead they fought tooth and nail and got themselves across the line, sparking scenes of celebration reminiscent of a Grand Final victory. Relief for the punters then, if not the tipsters. I must admit that my tipping over the weekend went to the schizenhausen, as Rex Hunt would say if 3AW still let him, but I suspect I wasn't the only one scoring a big fat zero. The curse of the split round had struck- tipsters beware!
So with the midseason hump now out of the way all teams are back on board for Round 13. While it's all academic at the bottom for Richmond and Melbourne, and probably Carlton and Brisbane, Freo and St Kilda are entering the last chance saloon for 2007. Geelong are travelling very nicely at the top but there's a lot of competition to fill the next seven spots. Every match counts, and there's going to be some tired footballers by Round 22. If only there was the opportunity for a periodic break...perhaps in the form of a bye? Maybe we could convince University to come back on board to allow this to occur? Worth considering, or another in a long line of Bad Ideas? Grateful views. Until next week then, yibba da yibba da etc.
28 June 2007
21 June 2007
Round Twelve Part A: Mr Belvedere, you beauty!
There is a story, possibly an urban legend, that comedian Bill Cosby was so disturbed by what he perceived as negative racial stereotypes in the original 'Lil Rascals TV series that he purchased the rights to the entire catalogue in order that they never be shown on television again. Many are questioning whether Bill's philosophy has been taken on board by the Channel Seven sports department regarding the coverage of AFL football. Why else would you spend millions of dollars on getting the footy rights back from Channel Nine and then not show a single moment of live football? To be fair, the hopeless AFL draw may be slightly to blame- Melbourne, the spiritual home of the AFL did not get a single day game on either Saturday or Sunday last weekend or this one coming. This helps to explain why Seven screened an episode of execrable sitcom "According to Jim" followed by beloved children's classic "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" last Saturday arvo- there was nothing to show in the way of footy. Indeed the AFL and its TV affiliates' aversion to natural light meant that for the entirety of Round 12 there is/was only one match played in daytime- Geelong vs Brisbane, presumably only on the grounds that Skilled Stadium doesn't have decent floodlights fitted. Am I the only one left who likes the option of watching a game down the pub on a Saturday arvo or better yet actually going to one? And don't start me on the mad idea of moving the Grand Final to 5PM in order to allow the TV people to cross to the post-match winners and losers' dinners and to shoot off fireworks at the end, I've wasted enough typing and bile on that one in earlier wraps.
Being confronted with a mad 5PM start time may explain why the Bombers were so bad on the weekend. The Dons and the Power had had completely opposite form coming into their Sunday contest- the Dons had been on fire and the Power awful. This statement was still true at the end of the match, with Essendon kicking six unanswered goals in the last quarter. Unfortunately for the Bombers Port had so completely dominated the first three quarters of the match that even the Power's last quarter slumbers couldn't affect the end result. However Port coach Mark Williams won't be happy that what could have been a 100+ point hiding with huge percentage gains turned into a run of the mill five goal win- in a season as close as this one percentage could well determine who gets a top four spot/home final/finals berth and who doesn't. Kevin Sheedy on the other hand at least had the percentage saved to take away as a positive from an otherwise abysmal display.
Abysmal too was the only way to describe Carlton's effort against Hawthorn on the Friday night. Like Essendon the Blues had come into the match in a rich vein of form only to see it vanish without trace in front of a record Telstra Dome crowd of 50,000 plus (ie. about half of a full MCG turnout). The Hawks hammered the Blues to the tune of 100 points, enjoying a healthy percentage booster to boot which may come in handy in their quest for a top two finish. To get there they'll need to move past either Geelong or West Coast, neither of whom are going to relinquish their position without a fight. The Cats are the team of the moment, unbeaten since Round Five and with a mighty percentage in place. The Cats kept the Lions goalless until halftime on the weekend in a wet encounter down at Sleepy Hollow, running out convincing winners at the final siren. The form of the younger Gary Ablett had Cats fans of all ages misty eyed and in various stages of excitement, he along with colleague Jimmy Bartel are now regarded as Brownlow favourites. Could this at long last be the year of the Cat? Or will 2007 represent yet another in the long line of false dawns that have hit the Second City?
As mentioned there were no games at all on Saturday arvo, but Saturday night saw two fixtures in most unlikely places- one at the Gold Coast, the other in Darwin. In the first fixture, the Cararraroos missed the chance for a clean sweep of their fixtures in their inaugural year on the Coast by going down to a strong Crows performance. In the Darwin fixture, the injury-strapped Dogs over Freo took the four points in a most entertaining game. An old college buddy and I managed to catch a replay of this game down the pub some days later on Foxtel (Seven at the time was no doubt screening repeats of Mr Belvedere at the time, followed by Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). A great game to catch, and we were particularly edified when it was followed by a replay of the iconic 1970 Grand Final. Having never actually seen this game apart from the Jezza mark and various Ted Hopkins goals it was fascinating to see how much it resembled the 1998 Grand Final in that Collingwood (and North later) kicked themselves out of contention, only to be over-run when the opposition gained the momentum. The record crowd, many of whom were wearing actual hats, were treated to a very attractive style of play which certainly compares favourably to some of the negative error-ridden shot chipping-style shockers which sadly occur too often today. And the goal umpires were classic- in the traditional butchers coats and white top hats and with a manner of signalling behinds reminiscent of a gun-slinger at the OK Corral. Although the aggrieved publican's desire to close the pub and go home meant that we were out on the streets just before we could witness Jezza's famous mark, we had been richly spoiled by Foxtel's footy coverage. How does one subscribe to this marvellous network? A top night indeed.
Fremantle, however, had anything but a top night in the Top End. Not only did they drop the four points in a match they really needed to win, but in the wake of the commiseratory drinks session afterwards assistant coach Mark Harvey was king-hit in the street and serial drongo Chris Tarrant found himself the subject of much approbrium for allegedly mooning a woman to whom he had just been introduced and punching a federal ALP candidate. Quite a night!
So, five matches down and three to go for Round 12. Can anyone this weekend match Geelong's performances on the field or Freo's off it? Given West Coast are in action, perhaps they can accomplish both! Find out back here next week. Congratulations, incidentally, are in order to all associated with the Jakarta "Bintangs" (that name possibly the result of an unholy alliance between Osama Bin Laden and the Wu Tang Clan) who managed a comfortable victory over the Singapore Wombats the other day, cheers Tobes for the update. Go the 'tangs!
Being confronted with a mad 5PM start time may explain why the Bombers were so bad on the weekend. The Dons and the Power had had completely opposite form coming into their Sunday contest- the Dons had been on fire and the Power awful. This statement was still true at the end of the match, with Essendon kicking six unanswered goals in the last quarter. Unfortunately for the Bombers Port had so completely dominated the first three quarters of the match that even the Power's last quarter slumbers couldn't affect the end result. However Port coach Mark Williams won't be happy that what could have been a 100+ point hiding with huge percentage gains turned into a run of the mill five goal win- in a season as close as this one percentage could well determine who gets a top four spot/home final/finals berth and who doesn't. Kevin Sheedy on the other hand at least had the percentage saved to take away as a positive from an otherwise abysmal display.
Abysmal too was the only way to describe Carlton's effort against Hawthorn on the Friday night. Like Essendon the Blues had come into the match in a rich vein of form only to see it vanish without trace in front of a record Telstra Dome crowd of 50,000 plus (ie. about half of a full MCG turnout). The Hawks hammered the Blues to the tune of 100 points, enjoying a healthy percentage booster to boot which may come in handy in their quest for a top two finish. To get there they'll need to move past either Geelong or West Coast, neither of whom are going to relinquish their position without a fight. The Cats are the team of the moment, unbeaten since Round Five and with a mighty percentage in place. The Cats kept the Lions goalless until halftime on the weekend in a wet encounter down at Sleepy Hollow, running out convincing winners at the final siren. The form of the younger Gary Ablett had Cats fans of all ages misty eyed and in various stages of excitement, he along with colleague Jimmy Bartel are now regarded as Brownlow favourites. Could this at long last be the year of the Cat? Or will 2007 represent yet another in the long line of false dawns that have hit the Second City?
As mentioned there were no games at all on Saturday arvo, but Saturday night saw two fixtures in most unlikely places- one at the Gold Coast, the other in Darwin. In the first fixture, the Cararraroos missed the chance for a clean sweep of their fixtures in their inaugural year on the Coast by going down to a strong Crows performance. In the Darwin fixture, the injury-strapped Dogs over Freo took the four points in a most entertaining game. An old college buddy and I managed to catch a replay of this game down the pub some days later on Foxtel (Seven at the time was no doubt screening repeats of Mr Belvedere at the time, followed by Chitty Chitty Bang Bang). A great game to catch, and we were particularly edified when it was followed by a replay of the iconic 1970 Grand Final. Having never actually seen this game apart from the Jezza mark and various Ted Hopkins goals it was fascinating to see how much it resembled the 1998 Grand Final in that Collingwood (and North later) kicked themselves out of contention, only to be over-run when the opposition gained the momentum. The record crowd, many of whom were wearing actual hats, were treated to a very attractive style of play which certainly compares favourably to some of the negative error-ridden shot chipping-style shockers which sadly occur too often today. And the goal umpires were classic- in the traditional butchers coats and white top hats and with a manner of signalling behinds reminiscent of a gun-slinger at the OK Corral. Although the aggrieved publican's desire to close the pub and go home meant that we were out on the streets just before we could witness Jezza's famous mark, we had been richly spoiled by Foxtel's footy coverage. How does one subscribe to this marvellous network? A top night indeed.
Fremantle, however, had anything but a top night in the Top End. Not only did they drop the four points in a match they really needed to win, but in the wake of the commiseratory drinks session afterwards assistant coach Mark Harvey was king-hit in the street and serial drongo Chris Tarrant found himself the subject of much approbrium for allegedly mooning a woman to whom he had just been introduced and punching a federal ALP candidate. Quite a night!
So, five matches down and three to go for Round 12. Can anyone this weekend match Geelong's performances on the field or Freo's off it? Given West Coast are in action, perhaps they can accomplish both! Find out back here next week. Congratulations, incidentally, are in order to all associated with the Jakarta "Bintangs" (that name possibly the result of an unholy alliance between Osama Bin Laden and the Wu Tang Clan) who managed a comfortable victory over the Singapore Wombats the other day, cheers Tobes for the update. Go the 'tangs!
14 June 2007
Round Eleven: To Cranbourne! And don't forget the pie-warmer!
Australian Rules Football at its best ie. when teams aren't flooding or winding down the clock with fifteen minutes still to play, is a highly entertaining game to watch. Many an effusive paragraph has been dedicated to the joy produced by a Hird sleight of hand, a Judd acceleration, a Brown feat of strength or a Davis piece of magic. But at least as many paragraphs have been devoted to the often hilarious off-field wheelings and dealings in the backrooms of the clubs, particularly when the club is struggling on the field. Victorian clubs have a bit of a lead on the interstaters in this regard, in part because of their longer history and in part because of their recent on-field mediocrity. All of the Vic clubs, big and small, have their occasional moments of off-field tension- Essendon, for example, frets every decade or so on whether to replace Kevin Sheedy as coach; Collingwood stresses over whether to wear a black jumper with white stripes or a white jumper with black stripes. The Club Once Known as North Melbourne bickers over whether t'is better to sail forth as the Canberroos or the Carrarraroos or simply to follow Fitzroy's path into Melbourne-based oblivion. So all clubs have their occasional moments of off-field instability. But some have turned boardroom bickering into a genuine art-form, providing endless entertainment for the football community and much schadenfraudic glee for supporters of opposing sides (all very conscious that it will be their side's turn in a fortnight or so). Richmond of course have been a basket case both on and off the field since 1983. Melbourne have periodically threatened to implode for decades. In recent years the off-field shenanigans at Carlton have contributed to the Blues' dismal showings. But the king of the calamitous headlines, without a shadow of a doubt, is everyone's second favourite team- St Kilda.
The AFL would be a far lesser competition without the Saints. They have produced some of the best players the league has seen- Baldock, Harvey, Barker, Stewart, Lockett for example. Generously, for some reason they have always been happy to pass on their talent to other clubs- Stewart and Lockett both found greater riches and success elsewhere, as have Hall and Everitt more recently. Team success though has been noticably lacking for the Sainters, with only the 1966 one point epic over Collingwood to show for over a hundred seasons in the VFL/AFL ( I don't count victories in the Let's Throw the Victorian Clubs a Bone Pre-Season Cup Proudly Brought to You by This Year's Sponsor With a Loud and Annoying Ad). Supporters of opposing teams have appreciated the Saints for their seeming unfailing and cheerful willingness to save other clubs embarrassment by taking home the wooden spoon on such a regular basis. The Saints can cope with failure. Any small sniff of success though has the effect of sending them into a panic, causing them to make absolutely bizarre and nonsensical decisions. Consider, if you will, the recent evidence.
In the early 1990s Ken Sheldon got the Saints into the finals for the first time in decades. When they briefly dipped out again he was promptly sacked and replaced by Stan Alves. Alves delivered a victory in the aforementioned preseason competition in '96 and followed it up the following year with a once in a blue moon actual Grand Final appearance. The Saints went down on the day, due in no small part to the absence of their best ruckman Everitt through injury, but made the finals again the following year. Inconceivably, Alves was sacked. In his wisdom then-President Andrew Plympton plumped (plymped?) for ex-Dons legend Tim Watson, untried as a coach but proven as a Seven Network media performer. Many argued that this was an unwise course of action. Many were proven absolutely correct as Timmy guided the Saints to a wooden spoon within two years and wisely headed straight back to the Seven Network. Plympton too departed, new President Rod Butterss taking the far more conservative coaching option of a proven performer- dual premiership coach Malcolm Blight for a cool $1 million. Fifteen games later, Blight was sacked. Does anyone have a calculator handy? Nice work if you can get it. Little known coaching assistant (and good mate of Butterss) Grant Thomas took over for the rest of the season. An exhaustive coaching review at the end of the 2001 scanned the credentials of all possible candidates and settled on...Grant Thomas. Thomas followed a cunning plan of settling for low finishes in the next two seasons (and trading established players such as Everitt and Hall) in return for high draft picks and by 2004 had a team which couldn't possibly fail to win a flag in either that year or the next. Except they could, failing to make it past the preliminary finals in either season due in part to a cripplingly long injury list. When in 2006 the Saints dipped out in the first week of the finals Butterss, who had long fallen out with Thomas, showed him the door and appointed Ross Lyon instead.
During his time at the Saints Thomas had not only taken on the traditional coaching duties but had also usurped a plethora of other responsibilities eg. negotiating individual player contracts, fixing the pie-warmer in the social club etc. His departure then left a gaping hole which, according to Butterss at least, Thomas felt an obligation to fill by calling his ex-players and inviting them down to his local for a quiet beer and a chat over issues like player contracts, the working state of the social club pie-warmer etc. Thomas denied these allegations, but Butterss ordered him away from St Kilda, while simultaneously threatening to move the club away from its longstanding home at Moorabbin to of all places Cranbourne (perhaps on the basis that Cranbourne is a long way from Thomas' local). This farce has played out in the Melbourne press for the last few weeks, enraging Saints supporter and "comedian" Steve Bedwell (he cracks funnies on the godawful Fox FM station so the inverted commas on the word comedian are no mistake) who threatened a putsch against Butterss which at this stage has yet to occur. What chance do the players have on concentrating on footy with all this going on (and their injury list now heading out the soon-to-be-vacated-maybe Moorabbin door)? None whatsoever, and they duly went down on the weekend to the Carrarraroos.
The match of the round was undoubtedly the Friday night clash between the Bombers and the Eagles. Ten minutes into the match the Eagles were several goals up and the Bombers had about three touches between them (all clangers). It looked like being an absolute slaughter, and prompted me to switch over to the rugby league fixture where a mighty crowd of less than 5000 were sitting in the rain at Stadium Australia. Ten minutes of watching people sliding through the mud was enough and I switched back over to discover that the Dons had finally gotten it together to score at least a couple of goals, perhaps a respectable loss was on the cards. Three quarters later and I, like the full Red and Black army present at the Telstra Dome, was on the edge of my seat as the clock ticked down with the Bombers up by the narrowest of margins. The place erupted as the siren sounded with Essendon up by just one point for the second week in a row, again defeating one of last year's Grand Finalists. The old guard of Fletcher, Lucas and Hird were superb, it was a hell of a good win. And my apologies to my neighbours, who for the second weekend in a row copped a repeated late night slurred and bellowed version of "See the Bombers Go Up".
After such a stirring and high quality game high hopes were held for the clash between the highflying Hawks and the determined Swans, but this was a bit of a scrappy affair. The main interest in the game was in the seemingly ubiquitous Peter Everitt- the one-time Saint was making his first appearance as a Swan against his old team the Hawks. Everitt copped the mother of all bakes from bitter columnist Robert Walls in the Age newspaper on the morning of the match but had the last laugh as the Swans took the four points. Another prodigal son, Jason Akermanis, was also smiling at the end of his first trip back to the Gabba as the Western Bulldogs were able to overcome a couple of serious injuries to key players to defeat struggling Brisbane. And one-time ladder leader Port's season is on the skids at the moment, Carlton easily accounting for them to leap frog the Saints into 13th spot.
Over in the west Richmond's misery continued as on-again off-again Freo kept their season alive with a comfortable victory. Geelong leapt into top spot and outright premiership favouritism with a gutsy interstate win over the Crows. And Collingwood missed a golden opportunity to shore up a spot in the four by going down to lowly Melbourne once again in the Queen's Birthday weekend encounter at the 'G.
So with half the season gone it has become very evident that this is the most even season for some time. Only Richmond and Melbourne are out of the running, only Geelong and West Coast are secure of a finals spot. Twelve teams are still fighting it out for six places, and spots in the top four would seem to be a very precious commodity. Unbelievably at this point in the season one of those spots is occupied by Essendon! Kevin Sheedy is safe for another three years. Of course if he'd produced this result at St Kilda he'd no doubt be sacked immediately and replaced by Steve Bedwell.
The second half of the season will no doubt be every bit as eventful as the first, see you back here next week for Round 12.
The AFL would be a far lesser competition without the Saints. They have produced some of the best players the league has seen- Baldock, Harvey, Barker, Stewart, Lockett for example. Generously, for some reason they have always been happy to pass on their talent to other clubs- Stewart and Lockett both found greater riches and success elsewhere, as have Hall and Everitt more recently. Team success though has been noticably lacking for the Sainters, with only the 1966 one point epic over Collingwood to show for over a hundred seasons in the VFL/AFL ( I don't count victories in the Let's Throw the Victorian Clubs a Bone Pre-Season Cup Proudly Brought to You by This Year's Sponsor With a Loud and Annoying Ad). Supporters of opposing teams have appreciated the Saints for their seeming unfailing and cheerful willingness to save other clubs embarrassment by taking home the wooden spoon on such a regular basis. The Saints can cope with failure. Any small sniff of success though has the effect of sending them into a panic, causing them to make absolutely bizarre and nonsensical decisions. Consider, if you will, the recent evidence.
In the early 1990s Ken Sheldon got the Saints into the finals for the first time in decades. When they briefly dipped out again he was promptly sacked and replaced by Stan Alves. Alves delivered a victory in the aforementioned preseason competition in '96 and followed it up the following year with a once in a blue moon actual Grand Final appearance. The Saints went down on the day, due in no small part to the absence of their best ruckman Everitt through injury, but made the finals again the following year. Inconceivably, Alves was sacked. In his wisdom then-President Andrew Plympton plumped (plymped?) for ex-Dons legend Tim Watson, untried as a coach but proven as a Seven Network media performer. Many argued that this was an unwise course of action. Many were proven absolutely correct as Timmy guided the Saints to a wooden spoon within two years and wisely headed straight back to the Seven Network. Plympton too departed, new President Rod Butterss taking the far more conservative coaching option of a proven performer- dual premiership coach Malcolm Blight for a cool $1 million. Fifteen games later, Blight was sacked. Does anyone have a calculator handy? Nice work if you can get it. Little known coaching assistant (and good mate of Butterss) Grant Thomas took over for the rest of the season. An exhaustive coaching review at the end of the 2001 scanned the credentials of all possible candidates and settled on...Grant Thomas. Thomas followed a cunning plan of settling for low finishes in the next two seasons (and trading established players such as Everitt and Hall) in return for high draft picks and by 2004 had a team which couldn't possibly fail to win a flag in either that year or the next. Except they could, failing to make it past the preliminary finals in either season due in part to a cripplingly long injury list. When in 2006 the Saints dipped out in the first week of the finals Butterss, who had long fallen out with Thomas, showed him the door and appointed Ross Lyon instead.
During his time at the Saints Thomas had not only taken on the traditional coaching duties but had also usurped a plethora of other responsibilities eg. negotiating individual player contracts, fixing the pie-warmer in the social club etc. His departure then left a gaping hole which, according to Butterss at least, Thomas felt an obligation to fill by calling his ex-players and inviting them down to his local for a quiet beer and a chat over issues like player contracts, the working state of the social club pie-warmer etc. Thomas denied these allegations, but Butterss ordered him away from St Kilda, while simultaneously threatening to move the club away from its longstanding home at Moorabbin to of all places Cranbourne (perhaps on the basis that Cranbourne is a long way from Thomas' local). This farce has played out in the Melbourne press for the last few weeks, enraging Saints supporter and "comedian" Steve Bedwell (he cracks funnies on the godawful Fox FM station so the inverted commas on the word comedian are no mistake) who threatened a putsch against Butterss which at this stage has yet to occur. What chance do the players have on concentrating on footy with all this going on (and their injury list now heading out the soon-to-be-vacated-maybe Moorabbin door)? None whatsoever, and they duly went down on the weekend to the Carrarraroos.
The match of the round was undoubtedly the Friday night clash between the Bombers and the Eagles. Ten minutes into the match the Eagles were several goals up and the Bombers had about three touches between them (all clangers). It looked like being an absolute slaughter, and prompted me to switch over to the rugby league fixture where a mighty crowd of less than 5000 were sitting in the rain at Stadium Australia. Ten minutes of watching people sliding through the mud was enough and I switched back over to discover that the Dons had finally gotten it together to score at least a couple of goals, perhaps a respectable loss was on the cards. Three quarters later and I, like the full Red and Black army present at the Telstra Dome, was on the edge of my seat as the clock ticked down with the Bombers up by the narrowest of margins. The place erupted as the siren sounded with Essendon up by just one point for the second week in a row, again defeating one of last year's Grand Finalists. The old guard of Fletcher, Lucas and Hird were superb, it was a hell of a good win. And my apologies to my neighbours, who for the second weekend in a row copped a repeated late night slurred and bellowed version of "See the Bombers Go Up".
After such a stirring and high quality game high hopes were held for the clash between the highflying Hawks and the determined Swans, but this was a bit of a scrappy affair. The main interest in the game was in the seemingly ubiquitous Peter Everitt- the one-time Saint was making his first appearance as a Swan against his old team the Hawks. Everitt copped the mother of all bakes from bitter columnist Robert Walls in the Age newspaper on the morning of the match but had the last laugh as the Swans took the four points. Another prodigal son, Jason Akermanis, was also smiling at the end of his first trip back to the Gabba as the Western Bulldogs were able to overcome a couple of serious injuries to key players to defeat struggling Brisbane. And one-time ladder leader Port's season is on the skids at the moment, Carlton easily accounting for them to leap frog the Saints into 13th spot.
Over in the west Richmond's misery continued as on-again off-again Freo kept their season alive with a comfortable victory. Geelong leapt into top spot and outright premiership favouritism with a gutsy interstate win over the Crows. And Collingwood missed a golden opportunity to shore up a spot in the four by going down to lowly Melbourne once again in the Queen's Birthday weekend encounter at the 'G.
So with half the season gone it has become very evident that this is the most even season for some time. Only Richmond and Melbourne are out of the running, only Geelong and West Coast are secure of a finals spot. Twelve teams are still fighting it out for six places, and spots in the top four would seem to be a very precious commodity. Unbelievably at this point in the season one of those spots is occupied by Essendon! Kevin Sheedy is safe for another three years. Of course if he'd produced this result at St Kilda he'd no doubt be sacked immediately and replaced by Steve Bedwell.
The second half of the season will no doubt be every bit as eventful as the first, see you back here next week for Round 12.
07 June 2007
Round 10: A shower of Bad Ideas
From time to time, AFL figures- (ex) players, coaches, presidents, media types etc.- put up suggestions for "improvements" which can immediately be identified as Bad Ideas. The alternative jumper suggestion is a case in point, as is virtually any change to interpretations of the rules of the game (this year, it's the hands in the back interpretation which is causing everyone angst). One hardy perennial Bad Idea constantly raising its head, causing concerned onlookers to try and smack it back down again Whack-a-Mole style, is the plan to change the timing of the Grand Final from day to night. TV types are the main culprits behind this generally unpopular suggestion, arguing that: a) the game would rate much better at night; b) every other major sporting event is now at night; and c) overseas viewers would get to see the game in a better timeslot. To which the obvious responses are: a) who cares about increasing TV ratings other than TV executives? b) who cares what other sports do? And in any case, the FA Cup final is still a day fixture (although this year's final would have benefited from being played at late as night as possible, preferably with the lights off). And c) who cares about whether the drunken expats in the Shepherds Bush Walkabout/Saskatoon Outback Steakhouse/Bruce's Bonza Bar in Bangalore (who are, let's be frank, the only people overseas other than Taigh Kennelly's nearest and dearest) who could possibly care about the AFL Grand Final get to see the game in a decent timeslot or not? Australian sports fans have been getting up at sparrowfart for generations to watch overseas sporting events, let the rest of the world suffer for once! This year though, an even Worse Idea has been mooted- the Twilight Grand Final. The rationale, as I understand it, is that this would allow the covering TV channel the opportunity to show something like 24 consecutive hours of football related activity, from the Grand Final lunch to the game to the players' dinners afterwards. That should make interesting viewing! Certainly the Brownlow Medal count is always a riveting watch. Seeing the depressed defeated side hitting the turps for the first time in months should provide some memorable moments. Will they turn on each other in a haze of recriminations? Certainly Sticks Kernahan would love to see someone else broadcast in an inebriated state if only to deflect attention from his own unforgettable boozy tone-deaf rendition of "Stand By Your Man" performed outside Naughton's Hotel following the 1995 premiership. Thankfully, there appears to be no interest whatsoever in this godawful suggestion and hopefully it will disappear from the headlines until this time next year. Have your mallets ready for when this particular mole pops up again.
Another Bad Idea which does have some support is to bring back State of Origin football. Many players are keen to have some chance of representative football, now that the Irish have had enough of having the shit kicked out of them every year. But surely I'm not the only one to recall that State of Origin died a natural death some years back because it had just become farcical? The only thing more pathetic than the crowd attendences was the list of high-profile players injured for the game, all of whom miraculously recovered just a few days later in time for the home and away matches. Those in favour of the revival say things along the lines of, "wouldn't it be great to see Chris Judd and Jonathan Brown in the same Victorian team?" Well yes, it would, but there's no chance of it actually happening! How often did James Hird turn out for NSW/ACT/The Allies? Not too often, and as a Bomber fan I'm very pleased about this. I don't want to see Lloyd's hammy or Fletcher's knee go while they're playing in an ultimately meaningless fixture. How thrilled would Eagles' fans be if Juddy went down with a long term injury while playing for Victoria? Not very, you would have to think. No, the Big V and the rest belong to a bygone era, along with playing all matches on a Saturday afternoon and umpires in white. Let it rest in peace.
One Bad Idea of my own that I was happy to let go was not watching the Bombers live. And I'm very happy that I dispensed with this one on the weekend as I got to see one of their best performances in ages as they gutsed out a 1 point win over the Swans up in Sydney. Belated revenge for the 96 preliminary final. Swans' supporters felt they were hardly done by in the umpiring stakes, but ultimately the Dons deserved their win. Peter Everitt will surely never again punch through a kick after the siren, while nobody would be surprised to learn that the fat SCG goalposts had all undergone a considerable fitness regime following the last minute poster which could have won it for the Swans had the portly post sucked its gut in just a bit. Amazingly the other match on that night ended in a draw- Richmond's losing run ending, sort of. The Tiges and Lions were both disappointed not to take 4 points away from this one, Richmond coach Terry Wallace called for draws to be done away with in favour of extra time- yet another Bad Idea!
The round began with a grudge match between Collingwood and Fremantle in which ex-Magpie hero, now Docker Chris Tarrant proved that he still can't kick straight. The Pies took the points and are flying high in 07, the Dockers are now in doubt of making the finals after being premiership favourites at the start of the season. Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse continues to delight schoolboys nationwide with his team selection- the Magpies are now fielding not only a Cox, a Dick and a Johnson, but the very Austin Powersesque Goldsack! Lovely stuff.
There were a couple of surprise results in Round 10, none more so than Carlton's leap back to the winner's circle over the struggling Bulldogs. The Blues had been winless since their amazing comeback performance over Essendon way back in Round 3. The Carrarraroos hadn't lost since that round, but found West Coast away far too big a challenge and got thumped. No surprise there, but the much underestimated Hawthorn, probably the most anonymous team in the AFL, continue to beat more highly fancied opposition and gave Port their second straight home defeat. The Power's cross town rivals the Crows, once more resplendent in their classy red away strip, crashed to defeat to give Melbourne their belated first victory for the 2007 season. Dees' coach Neale Daniher visibly lost 10 years between the blowing of the siren and his emergence on to the MCG to congratulate his players. Finally, the Cats continued their good run by easily accounting for St Kilda who appear to be imploding off the field- more on that next week.
So, after ten rounds West Coast appear to have a mortgage on top spot but the other top four positions remain pretty open. The Vic teams are finally showing something after some pretty grim years, maybe this year one of them might even make the Grand Final which we hope will be played in daylight as God and nature intended! Still much football to be played and no doubt many more Bad Ideas to be propagated, Round 11 is next and we'll cover it all back here this time next week.
Another Bad Idea which does have some support is to bring back State of Origin football. Many players are keen to have some chance of representative football, now that the Irish have had enough of having the shit kicked out of them every year. But surely I'm not the only one to recall that State of Origin died a natural death some years back because it had just become farcical? The only thing more pathetic than the crowd attendences was the list of high-profile players injured for the game, all of whom miraculously recovered just a few days later in time for the home and away matches. Those in favour of the revival say things along the lines of, "wouldn't it be great to see Chris Judd and Jonathan Brown in the same Victorian team?" Well yes, it would, but there's no chance of it actually happening! How often did James Hird turn out for NSW/ACT/The Allies? Not too often, and as a Bomber fan I'm very pleased about this. I don't want to see Lloyd's hammy or Fletcher's knee go while they're playing in an ultimately meaningless fixture. How thrilled would Eagles' fans be if Juddy went down with a long term injury while playing for Victoria? Not very, you would have to think. No, the Big V and the rest belong to a bygone era, along with playing all matches on a Saturday afternoon and umpires in white. Let it rest in peace.
One Bad Idea of my own that I was happy to let go was not watching the Bombers live. And I'm very happy that I dispensed with this one on the weekend as I got to see one of their best performances in ages as they gutsed out a 1 point win over the Swans up in Sydney. Belated revenge for the 96 preliminary final. Swans' supporters felt they were hardly done by in the umpiring stakes, but ultimately the Dons deserved their win. Peter Everitt will surely never again punch through a kick after the siren, while nobody would be surprised to learn that the fat SCG goalposts had all undergone a considerable fitness regime following the last minute poster which could have won it for the Swans had the portly post sucked its gut in just a bit. Amazingly the other match on that night ended in a draw- Richmond's losing run ending, sort of. The Tiges and Lions were both disappointed not to take 4 points away from this one, Richmond coach Terry Wallace called for draws to be done away with in favour of extra time- yet another Bad Idea!
The round began with a grudge match between Collingwood and Fremantle in which ex-Magpie hero, now Docker Chris Tarrant proved that he still can't kick straight. The Pies took the points and are flying high in 07, the Dockers are now in doubt of making the finals after being premiership favourites at the start of the season. Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse continues to delight schoolboys nationwide with his team selection- the Magpies are now fielding not only a Cox, a Dick and a Johnson, but the very Austin Powersesque Goldsack! Lovely stuff.
There were a couple of surprise results in Round 10, none more so than Carlton's leap back to the winner's circle over the struggling Bulldogs. The Blues had been winless since their amazing comeback performance over Essendon way back in Round 3. The Carrarraroos hadn't lost since that round, but found West Coast away far too big a challenge and got thumped. No surprise there, but the much underestimated Hawthorn, probably the most anonymous team in the AFL, continue to beat more highly fancied opposition and gave Port their second straight home defeat. The Power's cross town rivals the Crows, once more resplendent in their classy red away strip, crashed to defeat to give Melbourne their belated first victory for the 2007 season. Dees' coach Neale Daniher visibly lost 10 years between the blowing of the siren and his emergence on to the MCG to congratulate his players. Finally, the Cats continued their good run by easily accounting for St Kilda who appear to be imploding off the field- more on that next week.
So, after ten rounds West Coast appear to have a mortgage on top spot but the other top four positions remain pretty open. The Vic teams are finally showing something after some pretty grim years, maybe this year one of them might even make the Grand Final which we hope will be played in daylight as God and nature intended! Still much football to be played and no doubt many more Bad Ideas to be propagated, Round 11 is next and we'll cover it all back here this time next week.
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