Some excellent news from Bendigo this week - the Bendigo Bombers reserves not only managed to break their goal drought from the previous week, but were able to put through a grand total of five majors in their battle against the Werribee Tigers. Unfortunately the Tigers booted a lazy thirty goals in response, but as Confucius (or possibly Mick Malthouse) once said, even a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. The BB Magoos’ journey to becoming a competitive football side may well be in its embryonic stages. However the footballing journeys of many a champion AFL player (along with those of the odd hack) are reaching their conclusions in the final weeks of the 2008 season. The hitherto slow trickle of retirements/ delisting announcements has been transformed in recent days into a raging torrent across the league. A massive number of players are going to be running down the race with blurry eyes this weekend, although hopefully this won’t lead any of them to inadvertently run through the opposing side’s banner, huddle, sponsor or mascot.
While some sides, notably Fremantle, have sensibly spaced out their retirements so that every week a different retiree has been featured, other clubs have left it all to the last minute and will face the challenge this weekend of ensuring that there are enough shoulders available to carry off all those deserving of being carried off. For example, Essendon fans this weekend will bid farewell to three club favourites in Adam Ramanauskas, Jason Johnson and Damien Peverill, while another AFL legend in three-time Lions premiership player and latter day Bomber Mal Michael also wears the red and black for a final time. If I was on the Essendon player roster this weekend, I would be positioning myself well in advance of the final siren to ensure that when it sounded I was geared up to get my shoulder under the comparatively wiry figures of either Rama, Johnno or Pev. No disrespect intended to Big Mal, but whoever ends up having to cart his “traditionally built” figure off is going to be staggering about like those poor blokes who used to have to lug portly Gaullish chieftain Vitalstatistix around on his shield in the old Asterix cartoons. At least they’ll have September off to recover.
Those Bombers not on the ever-expanding injury list were in action in the first match of Round 21, up against the stuttering Bulldogs. I was at first outraged that this match was not being telecast live into the northern states – we were instead provided with some minor Olympic sport or other, possibly kayaking, possibly the hammerthrow - until it occurred to me that the game not being broadcast was possibly the most meaningless fixture of all time. Regardless of what happened on the field the Bombers would still be finishing in 12th position and the Bulldogs would still be playing Hawthorn in the first week of the finals. Once I had absorbed this truth a strange sense of calm and acceptance swept over me, no doubt like that experienced by a death row prisoner whose last appeal has just been rejected by the Governor. I was able to handle Essendon’s capitulation in the second and third quarters with the zen-like demeanour of a well-practiced monk. In the end the scoreline damage to Essendon wasn’t too bad, and the Dogs have gained some much needed form. So everyone’s a winner.
Sadly, that statement could not be recycled to describe the Saturday fixtures. Several of the teams running around looked anything like winners, Melbourne most prominent among them. Any confidence the Dees might have gained from the previous weekend’s rout of the tanking Eagles was soundly beaten out of them by the Power in front of yet another pitiful AAMI stadium crowd. Perhaps the Port fans too have been affected by the same calm acceptance that this simply isn’t their year, and watching their team play meaningless matches is not a necessary step on the road to fulfilment. Although no doubt those who did bother to turn up would have thoroughly enjoyed the 78 point shellacking of the very, very ordinary Demons.
With their finals hopes still alive, the Tigers’ management would have probably been hoping for a slightly larger turnout than the 25,000 who chose to spend their Saturday arvo at the MCG watching their side take on Freo. But again those who made the effort were rewarded, with a fingernail-chewing seven point victory keeping Tiger hopes alive while marking the umpteenth time in 2008 that the Dockers have fallen just short. The turning point in the match came when Freo’s problem child Jeff Farmer managed to give away a crucial free kick and fifty metre penalty which blew his side’s momentum, and which will probably end his career at the end of 2008 on 249 games- like his team, falling just short of the mark.
Another team keeping its finals hopes narrowly north of the flatline mark in Round 21 was Carlton, who got up over the plummeting Brisbane Lions by a single kick up at the Gabba in the best match of the round. This really was a most unusual game. First we had the Blues leaping out of the blocks in the first half to be three goals up at the long break. Then the Lions ran amok in the third quarter, booting nine goals to one and seemingly wrapping up the four points necessary to keep their own finals chances alive. But then the Blues turned the game on its head once more, keeping the Lions scoreless in the last and putting through six goals of their own to steal the points. Perhaps most inexplicable of all was the fact that of the eighteen goals kicked by the Navy Blues, just two were off the boot of the Urinator. Fev now requires eight goals next weekend to bring up the ton, an eventuality which just a few weeks ago looked like a dead cert but now looks just plain dead.
One team with reason to feel eternal gratitude to Carlton for their magnificent comeback win is the Sydney Swans, who were somehow guaranteed a finals spot by the Blues’ victory despite themselves crashing to yet another loss. Collingwood hold the wood over Sydney, having beaten them umpteen times in a row. They converted this wood into a four-by-two plank in the first quarter and proceeded to beat the Swans over the head with it, putting through eight goals and opening up a lead that the Sydneysiders never challenged. It’s a bit of a worrying time for Sydney. In recent years they’ve have kept making the finals without being a contender, perhaps not the greatest long-term strategy. Ask any Essendon fan whether they would have preferred not to have done likewise in the period 2002-4 if it meant less recruiting of journeymen from Carlton and more single figure draft picks, and you’ll probably get a reasonably vehement answer. It’s all looking cheery for the Magpies however, they’ll go into the finals with a great deal of confidence that they can prove that last year’s agonisingly close preliminary final was no fluke. Heath Shaw should chauffer Alan Didak every week!
A possible finals preview took place on the Sunday, with Geelong hosting North Melbourne down at Sleepy Hollow. This was a match which would have given the Roos some indication of how far they had come since the Cats had belted them in the first week of the 2007 finals. And while North can take some satisfaction in the fact that they have come a long way since that debacle, they are still a fair way behind Geelong. Mind you, so is every other club in the competition just now. The Kangaroos were able to take this game right up to Geelong in the early stages, but a 20 minute burst in the second term produced seven Cat goals and basically ended the match as a contest. All good news down at the Cattery, they could probably play the diminuitive Matthew Stokes in the ruck and win right now the way they're going. At least they could if he wasn't out of the side due to "general soreness", which if I'm not mistaken was also the name of one of the villains in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.
Two games to go, and at Telstra Dome all eyes were on Old Man Harvey, who was honoured in his final "home" game (the Saints are the away team at Telstra Dome this weekend) by the unveiling of a giant 35 banner and the attendance of over 200 of his former teammates. With so much former Saint star power on display, it was perhaps not surprising that the current crop were distracted and missed the start. The Crows shot away to an early lead before the Saints realised they were in a game, but 12 Saint goals to 3 in the last three quarters ensured a St Kilda victory and a fitting conclusion to a big day for one of their all time legends. The Saints win meant that the previous night's heroics by Carlton, and Richmond's gallant win over Freo, were all for naught - the final eight was now set in stone.
Over in the West many had thought that Round 21 might be the occasion for star forward Lance Franklin to get his century, including several members of the Franklin clan who flew in specially for the big event. Buddy needed six majors to chalk up the ton, but unfortunately was only able to find four on the day. Not that it mattered, the Hawks were untroubled in racking up a 71 point win and now far more Hawk fans will have the chance to be present as he tries again this weekend. But should fans run onto the ground when (and if, knowing Buddy's erratic kicking record) he does kick his 100th? Yes, says Plugger Lockett, no stranger himself to kicking big scores. No says the Telstra Dome management and the AFL. My guess is it won't matter how many extra security guards they hire, they'll still get a fullscale ground invasion this weekend coming.
But all of that still lies ahead. Casting eyes back on the round just gone, we see that Round 21 proved decisive in a number of ways, but most notably in locking the door on the final eight for 2008. For half the teams in the AFL 2008 will be officially consigned to history following Round 22. But the other half still have much to play for - just who is going to get smashed by Geelong in the Grand Final this year? Will Buddy get his ton, and how many ground invaders will be banned for life if he does? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves be prevailed upon to provide coolie labour to carry off Big Mal Michael? As ever we'll be belatedly on the scene to wrap up all of the big stories from Round 22, see you back here in a week's time.
28 August 2008
22 August 2008
Round Twenty: The Clash of the Titans
There are certain inevitabilities in the final rounds of any AFL season. A spate of retirements occurs, as long-serving warriors come to the realisation that their dodgy hamstring/ knee/ performance/ court record is probably going to preclude them from going around for one more season. Fans of the Richmond and Fremantle Football Clubs accept the inevitable of two possibilities; either that their team’s late season gallantry is still not going to make up for their shocking early season form and get them into the finals; or that a bottom of the ladder finish at least will enable them to get a number one draft pick, which they’ll be sure to use wisely on players who will be around for a decade and who will propel the team to the top of the ladder (please don’t mention Richard Lounder or Trent Croad). And whispers of “tanking” will appear, as teams still under the magical threshold of five wins will mysteriously go down in matches in which they should ordinarily be lay down miseres.
And so it has proved once more in 2008. At least this year the tanking madness has held off until Round 20. Last year Carlton was at it before the last of the autumn leaves had hit the ground. This time it is the West Coast Eagles, premiers a mere two seasons ago, who have found themselves banished from the penthouse to the poorhouse in 2008. An awful 2008 for the Weagles has had only three silver linings: cross-town rivals the Dockers have also had a shocker, the Demons have played a season so woeful that it has put every other underperforming side firmly in the shade, and finishing at the bottom will allow for the selection of a new model Chris Judd (who hopefully will stay put in WA) or Ben Cousins (who hopefully won’t go off the rails).
Such is the degree of weary cynicism among AFL fans these days, there was scarcely a raised eyebrow when the betting odds for the Round 20 Melbourne versus West Coast match (“Clash of the Titans!”) were posted. The Demons a week earlier may have resembled Eric the Eel desperately thrashing in the pool while the Michael Phelps-like Geelong tumble-turned with graceful ease, but they went into this match warm favourites. And the Eagles may have ended the Bombers’ finals chances with a gutsy and skilful performance worthy of a Usain Bolt (after a couple of years of being slightly more Ben Johnson - the disgraced sprinter, not the Collingwood player), but not a brass razoo was laid on their chances of beating the bottom-placed Dees. And so it duly came to pass, in one of the worst games of this or any other season. The Eagles were truly appalling, kicking just five goals for the game and only 1 goal 10 behinds in the entire second half. The Demons were marginally less bad, kicking 11 goals for the game. The crowd stayed away in droves, with just 18,000 turning up to the cavernous MCG. Luckily the radio and TV audience was huge, in the northern states at least, because for some inexplicable reason it was selected as the match of the day over Essendon-Adelaide. Madness.
The round had in fact commenced the previous night when Collingwood proved that all those who’d written them off after Liar-gate two weeks earlier (including yours truly) were a bunch of fools by recording a gutsy five goal win interstate against the Power. While Port in 2008 are a traumatised shadow of the exciting side that made it all the way to Grand Final day in 2007 and then got annihilated, winning interstate is never an easy proposition and the Pies will be well pleased to have gained the four points. They’re pretty much guaranteed a finals spot now, although they’d still like another win or two going into the finals. The Power are already looking ahead to 2009, as are a bulk of their supporters given the pitiful turn-up at the match.
In the game on Saturday arvo deemed inferior to the “Clash of the Titans!”, Adelaide made history by recording their first ever victory in Victoria (not Victor-Victoria!) against the Bombers. After a midseason slump the Crows are coming good at the right time of the year. To be fair to the Bombers, whose shoulders might have slumped after their finals chances had vanished across the Nullabor the previous week, their injury list before the game resembled that of a particularly gallant World War One outfit. Their injury list after the game resembled that of General Custer’s regiment, as player after player went down wounded. All of these injuries have had a calamitous effect not only on Essendon’s finals chances, but also on their feeder side the Bendigo Bombers in the second tier Victorian Football League (VFL). With so many Essendon players out the Bendigo seniors found their own ranks drastically depleted and had to fill the gaps with reserves players for their encounter with Williamstown on the weekend. They kicked one goal for the day and went down by 155 points. For their part the poor old reserves team had to resort to recruiting the taller kids from the halftime Auskick program to fill in for the day, they kicked two behinds in total and lost by an astonishing 239 points.
Back in the big league, and there were a couple of eagerly awaited encounters on on Saturday night. It was fourth versus first as Sydney hosted Geelong. The Cats kept alive their chances of equalling the most successful season ever by leaping out of the blocks in the first quarter and then holding the Swans at bay after that. The Swans are still a chance of missing the finals altogether if they can’t get a win in the last two weeks of the season, and neither of their remaining fixtures is a gimme in anyone’s book. Up north the Brisbane Lions kept their own finals chances alive by continuing the Western Bulldogs’ recent slide and taking home a tight 11 point win after trailing all night. Perhaps the Lions were buoyed by the news that their long serving champion Nigel Lappin, the last of the Brisbane Bears and the Ringo Starr of the midfield “Fab Four” (the others being Brownlow Medallists Michael Voss, Simon Black and Jason Akermanis) was hanging up his boots come season’s end. These days Akermanis (who in the Fab Four was both John Lennon and Yoko Ono rolled into one) plies his trade in the red, white and blue of the Dogs, who would very much like to get some form back before they come up against Hawthorn in week one of the finals.
The Hawks, though, are not travelling in the most convincing manner possible themselves. They dropped a game nobody expected them to against Richmond on the Sunday afternoon, bringing the Tigers' very slim finals hopes back to life after they'd looked to have been snuffed out the previous weekend. The major problem for Hawthorn this weekend- and indeed, every weekend- is that if Buddy Franklin has an off day with the boot and nobody else can step up they're in trouble. Franklin's forward partner Jarryd Roughead has had a great season but he had a shocker on the weekend. Part of the problem was the Hawks' midfield becoming too Buddy-centric, possibly understandably as he started the day on 91 goals and there was a feeling that he could easily kick 9 for the ton against a demoralised Richmond. It wasn't to be, though, and Geelong will have watched Richmond's defensive tactics with a great deal of interest given that Hawthorn is the team most likely to oppose them on Grand Final day this year.
But not if North Melbourne has anything to say about it. The perenially underrated Roos are coming home with a wet sail in 2008 and they disposed of Carlton in clinical fashion to take over fourth spot. An eight goal second quarter set up the Roos' win, a result which makes it almost impossible for the Blues to play finals in 2008. Their major interest now is in ensuring that the Urinator gets to the ton of goals in the last two weeks. But the Roos are now a real contender. Last year they finished fourth and got walloped by 100 points by Geelong in the first final, but they're looking better this year than last. They may well fancy their chances of causing the mother of all upsets if they're drawn to play each other once more. They'll get an early opportunity to have a go at the Cats as they're off to Kardinia Park this weekend.
One game to complete Round 20, and St Kilda battled hard to ensure a victory they had to have in the west against the Dockers. The Saints are now hanging on grimly to eighth spot, level on points with Collingwood but with an inferior percentage. Brisbane are a game behind and snapping at their heels. Sydney, in sixth, are half a game clear of the Magpies and Saints but are in awful form. Richmond, in tenth, need to win both of their last two matches and need somebody above them to lose both of theirs; Carlton, in eleventh, need the same equation but they need to win their own games by about 100 points apiece to get their percentage up.
So it's all shaped up for a thrilling final two rounds. Will Melbourne's taste of victory put them on a late season roll? Can North cause a boilover down the Avalon Highway? Will Buddy or the Urinator get the century? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves kick a goal this week? The answers to all these and more- right here at Wrap Central.
And so it has proved once more in 2008. At least this year the tanking madness has held off until Round 20. Last year Carlton was at it before the last of the autumn leaves had hit the ground. This time it is the West Coast Eagles, premiers a mere two seasons ago, who have found themselves banished from the penthouse to the poorhouse in 2008. An awful 2008 for the Weagles has had only three silver linings: cross-town rivals the Dockers have also had a shocker, the Demons have played a season so woeful that it has put every other underperforming side firmly in the shade, and finishing at the bottom will allow for the selection of a new model Chris Judd (who hopefully will stay put in WA) or Ben Cousins (who hopefully won’t go off the rails).
Such is the degree of weary cynicism among AFL fans these days, there was scarcely a raised eyebrow when the betting odds for the Round 20 Melbourne versus West Coast match (“Clash of the Titans!”) were posted. The Demons a week earlier may have resembled Eric the Eel desperately thrashing in the pool while the Michael Phelps-like Geelong tumble-turned with graceful ease, but they went into this match warm favourites. And the Eagles may have ended the Bombers’ finals chances with a gutsy and skilful performance worthy of a Usain Bolt (after a couple of years of being slightly more Ben Johnson - the disgraced sprinter, not the Collingwood player), but not a brass razoo was laid on their chances of beating the bottom-placed Dees. And so it duly came to pass, in one of the worst games of this or any other season. The Eagles were truly appalling, kicking just five goals for the game and only 1 goal 10 behinds in the entire second half. The Demons were marginally less bad, kicking 11 goals for the game. The crowd stayed away in droves, with just 18,000 turning up to the cavernous MCG. Luckily the radio and TV audience was huge, in the northern states at least, because for some inexplicable reason it was selected as the match of the day over Essendon-Adelaide. Madness.
The round had in fact commenced the previous night when Collingwood proved that all those who’d written them off after Liar-gate two weeks earlier (including yours truly) were a bunch of fools by recording a gutsy five goal win interstate against the Power. While Port in 2008 are a traumatised shadow of the exciting side that made it all the way to Grand Final day in 2007 and then got annihilated, winning interstate is never an easy proposition and the Pies will be well pleased to have gained the four points. They’re pretty much guaranteed a finals spot now, although they’d still like another win or two going into the finals. The Power are already looking ahead to 2009, as are a bulk of their supporters given the pitiful turn-up at the match.
In the game on Saturday arvo deemed inferior to the “Clash of the Titans!”, Adelaide made history by recording their first ever victory in Victoria (not Victor-Victoria!) against the Bombers. After a midseason slump the Crows are coming good at the right time of the year. To be fair to the Bombers, whose shoulders might have slumped after their finals chances had vanished across the Nullabor the previous week, their injury list before the game resembled that of a particularly gallant World War One outfit. Their injury list after the game resembled that of General Custer’s regiment, as player after player went down wounded. All of these injuries have had a calamitous effect not only on Essendon’s finals chances, but also on their feeder side the Bendigo Bombers in the second tier Victorian Football League (VFL). With so many Essendon players out the Bendigo seniors found their own ranks drastically depleted and had to fill the gaps with reserves players for their encounter with Williamstown on the weekend. They kicked one goal for the day and went down by 155 points. For their part the poor old reserves team had to resort to recruiting the taller kids from the halftime Auskick program to fill in for the day, they kicked two behinds in total and lost by an astonishing 239 points.
Back in the big league, and there were a couple of eagerly awaited encounters on on Saturday night. It was fourth versus first as Sydney hosted Geelong. The Cats kept alive their chances of equalling the most successful season ever by leaping out of the blocks in the first quarter and then holding the Swans at bay after that. The Swans are still a chance of missing the finals altogether if they can’t get a win in the last two weeks of the season, and neither of their remaining fixtures is a gimme in anyone’s book. Up north the Brisbane Lions kept their own finals chances alive by continuing the Western Bulldogs’ recent slide and taking home a tight 11 point win after trailing all night. Perhaps the Lions were buoyed by the news that their long serving champion Nigel Lappin, the last of the Brisbane Bears and the Ringo Starr of the midfield “Fab Four” (the others being Brownlow Medallists Michael Voss, Simon Black and Jason Akermanis) was hanging up his boots come season’s end. These days Akermanis (who in the Fab Four was both John Lennon and Yoko Ono rolled into one) plies his trade in the red, white and blue of the Dogs, who would very much like to get some form back before they come up against Hawthorn in week one of the finals.
The Hawks, though, are not travelling in the most convincing manner possible themselves. They dropped a game nobody expected them to against Richmond on the Sunday afternoon, bringing the Tigers' very slim finals hopes back to life after they'd looked to have been snuffed out the previous weekend. The major problem for Hawthorn this weekend- and indeed, every weekend- is that if Buddy Franklin has an off day with the boot and nobody else can step up they're in trouble. Franklin's forward partner Jarryd Roughead has had a great season but he had a shocker on the weekend. Part of the problem was the Hawks' midfield becoming too Buddy-centric, possibly understandably as he started the day on 91 goals and there was a feeling that he could easily kick 9 for the ton against a demoralised Richmond. It wasn't to be, though, and Geelong will have watched Richmond's defensive tactics with a great deal of interest given that Hawthorn is the team most likely to oppose them on Grand Final day this year.
But not if North Melbourne has anything to say about it. The perenially underrated Roos are coming home with a wet sail in 2008 and they disposed of Carlton in clinical fashion to take over fourth spot. An eight goal second quarter set up the Roos' win, a result which makes it almost impossible for the Blues to play finals in 2008. Their major interest now is in ensuring that the Urinator gets to the ton of goals in the last two weeks. But the Roos are now a real contender. Last year they finished fourth and got walloped by 100 points by Geelong in the first final, but they're looking better this year than last. They may well fancy their chances of causing the mother of all upsets if they're drawn to play each other once more. They'll get an early opportunity to have a go at the Cats as they're off to Kardinia Park this weekend.
One game to complete Round 20, and St Kilda battled hard to ensure a victory they had to have in the west against the Dockers. The Saints are now hanging on grimly to eighth spot, level on points with Collingwood but with an inferior percentage. Brisbane are a game behind and snapping at their heels. Sydney, in sixth, are half a game clear of the Magpies and Saints but are in awful form. Richmond, in tenth, need to win both of their last two matches and need somebody above them to lose both of theirs; Carlton, in eleventh, need the same equation but they need to win their own games by about 100 points apiece to get their percentage up.
So it's all shaped up for a thrilling final two rounds. Will Melbourne's taste of victory put them on a late season roll? Can North cause a boilover down the Avalon Highway? Will Buddy or the Urinator get the century? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves kick a goal this week? The answers to all these and more- right here at Wrap Central.
13 August 2008
Round Nineteen: The Technically Flawless Wrap
Some exciting developments this week on the thus far embryonic new Gold Coast team- they may not yet have colours, a home ground or an established nickname, but they now have an inaugural coach! Yes, from next season in the juniors until the Dugongs/ Metermaids/ Schoolies/ Muriels finally take to the field in the big time in 2011, former Eagle backman and latter day Magpie assistant Bluey McKenna (and what a fine Australian name that is!) will be the man in charge. He’s got a big job ahead of him. The record on inaugural coaches at expansion teams isn’t particularly encouraging, most didn’t last terribly long. Poor old Peter Knights was thrown to the wolves at the Carrara Koalas under Christopher Skase, although he did come back a few years later to coach Hawthorn (equally poorly if his win/loss is anything to go by). Ron Alexander lasted but a single season at West Coast before being replaced by WA footy legend Ron Todd; Gerard Neesham is still best remembered at Fremantle as the bloke who cost them Andrew McLeod (on which more later); and even being a SA footy legend didn’t get John Cahill a third season at Port. But maybe Bluey can break the mould. A thought- perhaps in this Beijing Olympic fortnight the appointment of a man with flaming red hair is intended as a subtle wink towards the team’s soon to be disclosed official nickname? Could it be that the Coasters have decided to go down the Chinese route and will be nicknaming the team the (Red) Guards?
Only time will tell. But Beijing was the place to be for the AFL hoi polloi in the week just passed, Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou and Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick both passed up the opportunity to attend the official commemorative event for the sesquicentenary of Australian Rules Football, Scotch College versus Melbourne Grammar supported by Geelong versus Melbourne, in order to sit in a dodgy looking stadium listening to a “technically flawless” prepubescent kid lipsync in Chinese while fraudulent fireworks burst overhead. However, this turned out to be a highly wise decision in retrospect. While the Scotch-Grammar match was a belter (“Rah, rah, boys, rah!”) the Cats-Demons affair was quite possibly the most one-sided affair in the 150 years gone since Tom Wills thought it a good idea to keep cricketers fit in the off season (obviously David Boon, Mike Gatting and Inzamam al-Huq didn’t get that memo). Melbourne were simply not on the same page as Geelong, and for a good while there were in serious danger of lodging a genuine 1858-style scoreline. They didn’t get on the scoreboard at all until well into the second quarter, and only then because a Geelong defender fumbled the ball across his own goal line. New Dees’ President “Shamrock” Jimmy Stynes appeared in shot occasionally in his red and blue scarf looking suitably aghast as yet another Geelong goal went through. He must have been severely tempted at various stages to throw the scarf around the nearest beam and end it all, but thankfully held temptation at bay. The final 116 point margin confirmed what we already were aware of- namely, Geelong is very very good, Melbourne is very very bad, and a wet night in Melbourne watching a total mismatch is no match for photoshopped pyrotechniques in Beijing.
The first half of the Hawthorn-Brisbane match down in Launceston provided similarly dire viewing, with the two sides able to manage a mere four goals between them. But the Hawks slipped up through their gears in the third quarter before throwing open the throttle (and possibly mixing their motoring metaphors) in the final term to belt home nine majors and run away with the points. While superstar Buddy Franklin was the hero up forward with six more majors, taking him ever closer to the magic 100 for the season, it was long serving ’99 Brownlow medallist Shane Crawford in his 300th match who was the focal point for the brown and gold faithful. Crawford managed to put through the final goal of the match and was promptly besieged by his teammates from all parts of the ground. Crawford has been unlucky for the most part in his timing at Hawthorn, arriving just after the glory days of the ‘80s concluded, but perhaps his long wait for a Grand Final appearance is about to end.
One can only hope that if Crawford’s Hawks do make it to the last day of the season in ’08, their Grand Final experience is a little more positive than that of Port Adelaide in ‘07. Following last year’s towelling the Power continue to plummet like a shot down Messerschmidt from the upper reaches of the ladder, smoke billowing and bitter Teutonic epithets spewing forth as the ground rapidly approaches. This week it was the turn of Carlton to bank four points and keep their finals hopes alive at Port’s expense. Like Port, Fremantle have also unselfishly dedicated their 2008 season to the cause of others and for the umpteenth time this season snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Sydney to keep the Swans’ top four chances on track. Once more Freo’s skipper and best player Matthew Pavlich proved that, while he’s a great man to have on your team, he’s not the bloke you want lining up for goal at a crucial point. Pavlich had the chance to seal victory for the Dockers from 30 metres out but sprayed his kick, the Swans swept the ball away to the other end from which it never returned and the Sydney fans were able to celebrate a thrilling victory.
Celebrations went long and hard down at Collingwood too, as the Magpies were able to put their week from hell behind them and take the points against a disappointing St Kilda. While Old Father Time Robert Harvey tried his guts out once more for the Saints, his side was unable to get ahead of a Collingwood side determined to prove a point after the club had been pilloried, tarred, feathered, bollocked and nuggetted in the press over the previous week. Rumours that both President Eddie McGuire and coach Mick Malthouse were spotted actually smiling after the game remain unconfirmed but the black and white army were certainly a lot more chipper than in previous days, their finals hopes are once more alive.
Sadly, the same can’t be said for the finals hopes of Richmond and Essendon, both of which flatlined interstate on the Sunday afternoon of Round 19. The Tigers got thumped by the Crows, while the Bombers were at least competitive in the second half (pity about the first) against the Eagles but nevertheless fell 10 points short. In Adelaide the Crows were celebrating the 300th game of dual Norm Smith medallist Andrew McLeod, who would have been reflecting on the possibility that he could have played his career in the purple of Freo (and no doubt thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t). Apparently a young McLeod and ex-Dockers coach Gerard Neesham took an instant dislike to each other in the mid-90s and a trade was made for long forgotten (except for trivia buffs) Chris Groom. Fair to say that the Crows got the better end of that deal. Sadly for the Tigers their 2008 gun under pressure Joel Bowden won’t remember his 250th quite as fondly. Over in the west rookie full forward Ben McKinley was the hero for the Eagles, booting seven. To their credit Essendon played the game out and will look forward to 2009 with a lot of optimism.
One game to go to complete Round 19, and North Melbourne were able to complete the double over the Doggies, who’ve dropped to third (not that it matters, they’ll be playing Hawthorn at the MCG in the first week of the finals regardless of what happens in the last couple of weeks). North led all day in this one, with the AFL’s smallest player Brent Harvey giving his Brownlow Medal chances yet another kick along with another best afield performance.
So 150 years have passed since the first kick about on Gosch’s Paddock, 19 rounds have passed since the first ball was bounced on season 2008. If you can tear yourself away from the Olympics, due tune in again next week when we dissect Round 20. Until then, may your fireworks be bright and unadulterated and all of your viewing technically flawless.
Only time will tell. But Beijing was the place to be for the AFL hoi polloi in the week just passed, Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou and Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick both passed up the opportunity to attend the official commemorative event for the sesquicentenary of Australian Rules Football, Scotch College versus Melbourne Grammar supported by Geelong versus Melbourne, in order to sit in a dodgy looking stadium listening to a “technically flawless” prepubescent kid lipsync in Chinese while fraudulent fireworks burst overhead. However, this turned out to be a highly wise decision in retrospect. While the Scotch-Grammar match was a belter (“Rah, rah, boys, rah!”) the Cats-Demons affair was quite possibly the most one-sided affair in the 150 years gone since Tom Wills thought it a good idea to keep cricketers fit in the off season (obviously David Boon, Mike Gatting and Inzamam al-Huq didn’t get that memo). Melbourne were simply not on the same page as Geelong, and for a good while there were in serious danger of lodging a genuine 1858-style scoreline. They didn’t get on the scoreboard at all until well into the second quarter, and only then because a Geelong defender fumbled the ball across his own goal line. New Dees’ President “Shamrock” Jimmy Stynes appeared in shot occasionally in his red and blue scarf looking suitably aghast as yet another Geelong goal went through. He must have been severely tempted at various stages to throw the scarf around the nearest beam and end it all, but thankfully held temptation at bay. The final 116 point margin confirmed what we already were aware of- namely, Geelong is very very good, Melbourne is very very bad, and a wet night in Melbourne watching a total mismatch is no match for photoshopped pyrotechniques in Beijing.
The first half of the Hawthorn-Brisbane match down in Launceston provided similarly dire viewing, with the two sides able to manage a mere four goals between them. But the Hawks slipped up through their gears in the third quarter before throwing open the throttle (and possibly mixing their motoring metaphors) in the final term to belt home nine majors and run away with the points. While superstar Buddy Franklin was the hero up forward with six more majors, taking him ever closer to the magic 100 for the season, it was long serving ’99 Brownlow medallist Shane Crawford in his 300th match who was the focal point for the brown and gold faithful. Crawford managed to put through the final goal of the match and was promptly besieged by his teammates from all parts of the ground. Crawford has been unlucky for the most part in his timing at Hawthorn, arriving just after the glory days of the ‘80s concluded, but perhaps his long wait for a Grand Final appearance is about to end.
One can only hope that if Crawford’s Hawks do make it to the last day of the season in ’08, their Grand Final experience is a little more positive than that of Port Adelaide in ‘07. Following last year’s towelling the Power continue to plummet like a shot down Messerschmidt from the upper reaches of the ladder, smoke billowing and bitter Teutonic epithets spewing forth as the ground rapidly approaches. This week it was the turn of Carlton to bank four points and keep their finals hopes alive at Port’s expense. Like Port, Fremantle have also unselfishly dedicated their 2008 season to the cause of others and for the umpteenth time this season snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Sydney to keep the Swans’ top four chances on track. Once more Freo’s skipper and best player Matthew Pavlich proved that, while he’s a great man to have on your team, he’s not the bloke you want lining up for goal at a crucial point. Pavlich had the chance to seal victory for the Dockers from 30 metres out but sprayed his kick, the Swans swept the ball away to the other end from which it never returned and the Sydney fans were able to celebrate a thrilling victory.
Celebrations went long and hard down at Collingwood too, as the Magpies were able to put their week from hell behind them and take the points against a disappointing St Kilda. While Old Father Time Robert Harvey tried his guts out once more for the Saints, his side was unable to get ahead of a Collingwood side determined to prove a point after the club had been pilloried, tarred, feathered, bollocked and nuggetted in the press over the previous week. Rumours that both President Eddie McGuire and coach Mick Malthouse were spotted actually smiling after the game remain unconfirmed but the black and white army were certainly a lot more chipper than in previous days, their finals hopes are once more alive.
Sadly, the same can’t be said for the finals hopes of Richmond and Essendon, both of which flatlined interstate on the Sunday afternoon of Round 19. The Tigers got thumped by the Crows, while the Bombers were at least competitive in the second half (pity about the first) against the Eagles but nevertheless fell 10 points short. In Adelaide the Crows were celebrating the 300th game of dual Norm Smith medallist Andrew McLeod, who would have been reflecting on the possibility that he could have played his career in the purple of Freo (and no doubt thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t). Apparently a young McLeod and ex-Dockers coach Gerard Neesham took an instant dislike to each other in the mid-90s and a trade was made for long forgotten (except for trivia buffs) Chris Groom. Fair to say that the Crows got the better end of that deal. Sadly for the Tigers their 2008 gun under pressure Joel Bowden won’t remember his 250th quite as fondly. Over in the west rookie full forward Ben McKinley was the hero for the Eagles, booting seven. To their credit Essendon played the game out and will look forward to 2009 with a lot of optimism.
One game to go to complete Round 19, and North Melbourne were able to complete the double over the Doggies, who’ve dropped to third (not that it matters, they’ll be playing Hawthorn at the MCG in the first week of the finals regardless of what happens in the last couple of weeks). North led all day in this one, with the AFL’s smallest player Brent Harvey giving his Brownlow Medal chances yet another kick along with another best afield performance.
So 150 years have passed since the first kick about on Gosch’s Paddock, 19 rounds have passed since the first ball was bounced on season 2008. If you can tear yourself away from the Olympics, due tune in again next week when we dissect Round 20. Until then, may your fireworks be bright and unadulterated and all of your viewing technically flawless.
06 August 2008
Round Eighteen: Baby, You Can Drive My Car (Into A Number of Parked Cars)
Less than a month ago, the Magpie Army was flying high. They had just belted Adelaide, a week after completing a difficult away win against the top four Swans. They were then, as now, the only team to have beaten the all-conquering Cats. Given that they had come within five points of achieving the mother of all upsets against the same opposition in last year’s Preliminary Final, many pundits had them down as a genuine dark horse for the 2008 premiership. They just needed to secure the last top four position which, given the Swans’ shaky form, they seemed more than capable of doing. Then it all went horribly wrong. A second disappointing defeat for the season against the unfancied Kangaroos was followed by a wholly unexpected thumping at the hands of Essendon, a team Collingwood had summarily put to the sword by 12 goals on Anzac Day. Then the Magpies were made to look like second rate pretenders by the genuine item in Hawthorn (further details later in the Wrap). And the (seemingly) final nail was put in the coffin of the Pies’ 2008 season late on Sunday night.
The facts of the case are these, Your Honour. Despite the finals being imminent, the brothers Shaw and one Alan Didak decided to enjoy a classy night at Kew’s finest tavern, the Geebung Polo Club. Somewhat more than a few beverages later, the junior Shaw elected to drive home in a slightly weaving manner, predictably taking out dodgem car style a few innocent bystanders (mercifully in the form of parked cars) on the way. The police arrived to find Shaw Jr and Didak on the scene, but were informed (as was the footy club) that Didak had not been in the car but had rather been summoned by Shaw to assist in his hour of need. This, not surprisingly, turned out to be a packet of lies. Didak had indeed been in the car, for the second year in a row he had made a bad passenger-related decision. Unfortunately for Collingwood, and El Presidente Eddie McGuire in particular, the truth didn’t emerge until after all and sundry had sworn blind before the assembled media that the passenger had not been Didak but a “scaly mate” of Shaw Jr’s. Hell hath no fury like a high profile TV show host made to look like a schmuck. When the dust settled both Didak and Shaw Jr had been handled season-ending suspensions and comparatively light fines (Shaw Sr got two weeks for drinking while injured). The suspensions of two of the Pies’ top players mean that just making the finals is going to be a big ask now, let alone getting a top four spot. And the dark horse of premiership contention has been put behind a screen and shot. It seems more than likely that Alan Didak will not be at Collingwood next season, the only reason he wasn’t sacked would seem to be that the Pies think they can get something for him on the trading market at the end of the year. By all accounts President McGuire gave the playing group a fearsome spray on Monday, not a happy team at all are the Magpies.
Hawthorn, on the other hand, are a very happy team as their jaunty club song would attest. And they were singing it long and loud on Friday night after easily accounting for the hapless Pies. As ever forward Lance “Buddy” Franklin was the man to watch, booting a lazy eight while missing another half dozen. One of these days he’s going to learn to kick straight and will break the goals in a game record by half time. As it is he’s leading the Coleman Medal tally for both goals and behinds. Eight was the magic number once more the next day at the MCG, this time it was Bombers’ skipper Matthew Lloyd enjoying a day out. Lloyd’s heroics were the bright spot of an otherwise lacklustre match, the absolute highlight was Lloyd turning back the years, launching himself into the stratosphere and most probably securing the car for Mark of the Year. Drive sober, Lloydy! Dons by 16 points, and a most unlikely finals appearance is still an outside possibility. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIPGdAL1gLU&feature=related
Alive too are the finals prospects of North Melbourne, who fought out a gritty win against the rapidly faltering Lions in the Roos’ last ever “home game” on the Gold Coast. With the Roos’ departure, the “coast” (b’doom ching!) is now clear for the as yet un-monikered new side- Gold Coast Dugongs, anyone? The Roos are now very much in the mix for the last top four spot, although getting it is going to be something of a poisoned chalice as it involves coming up against Geelong in the first week of the finals. The Roos did just that last year and got absolutely annihilated. Brisbane, on the other hand, would probably be happy just to be involved in September after blowing yet another winnable game. As indeed would Richmond, who took the game up to the seemingly unbeatable Cats in the first half, but were comprehensively trounced in the second. Not that there’s any shame in that, Hawthorn is the only team to get anywhere near Geelong in the last couple of months. In yet another game involving potential finalists, Adelaide was able to hold off the fast finishing Carlton. Difficult now for the Blues to make it to September, they’ll need to win all of their remaining matches to have a shot one would think.
To the Sunday matches, and to the great joy of the public service there was AFL footy on at Historic Manuka Oval- the match of the round, no less! And conditions were absolutely superlative, perfect blue sky, ground in excellent nick and two teams in the top four with everything to play for. The Bulldogs and Swans both looked resplendent in their contrasting strips but it was the Swans who got off to a flyer with four unanswered goals in the first six minutes. It appeared as though a boilover was on the cards, particularly as the Dogs had lost their last two matches. However Dogs’ coach Rodney Eade (formerly at the helm of the Swans) was able to flick a switch and the Bulldogs put through eleven of the next twelve goals to go in comfortably ahead at the halftime break. The Swans then had the better of the third quarter, but the Dogs held them off and recorded a very valuable win. Hawthorn and the Western Bulldogs are now all but certain to play each other in week one of the finals, what a cracker of a game that’s going to be. The Swans are still desperately clinging to fourth, but this was a rare defeat in their ACT home away from home. They’ll be looking to regain some form before the finals kick off.
To the last two games of Round 18 and down in Melbourne the Saints marched in in a close one against the massively underachieving Port Adelaide. It’s difficult to imagine how the Power made it to a Grand Final less than 12 months ago, they’ve never even looked like being a contender in 2008. The Saints though are still definitely in contention for that last top four spot. They were given extra motivation to have a real tilt for the title in the days following the Round’s conclusion by the announcement that the AFL’s oldest player Robert Harvey will hang up his boots at the end of this season. Harvey is an indisputable champion of the game, a back to back Brownlow Medallist and eight time all-Australian. He made his debut back in the old VFL in 1988- anyone remember World Expo ’88? Or the Seoul Olympics? Certainly not the copious number of players on AFL lists who weren’t even born in 1988! An amazing career, unlikely that anyone else is going to chalk up 21 seasons at the top level of such a physical game any time soon.
And historic retirements were the order of the day over in the west as well, as Freo’s final foundation player Sean McManus chose the latest version of Derby: Fully Loaded as the occasion for his final match. McManus has been there since day one of the Dockers’ long strange purple journey, through tragedy and disappointment, the bad moments and the frustrating. There haven’t been too many moments of actual success for Fremantle over the last fourteen seasons. However the two matches a season their long-suffering fans crave victory in are the two against West Coast, and this year the Dockers have won them both! So perhaps their season hasn’t been all bad after all. Their win saw them leapfrog Port Adelaide into fourth bottom, the Eagles’ are now rooted in the bottom two and still in danger of a first wooden spoon just two seasons after taking a (possibly substance-assisted) premiership.
So just four rounds to go in the 2008 home and away season for all bar those whose propensity to have a lager or two, drive in a less than confidence-inspiring manner and then play fast and loose with the truth have seen them banished to the sidelines. Drive carefully, all! And never, ever, make Eddie McGuire look foolish. Here’s a treat, a sneak preview of the AFL Grand Final pre-game entertainment for 2008. See you back here for the Round 19 Wrap next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31x2WpuSAkA
The facts of the case are these, Your Honour. Despite the finals being imminent, the brothers Shaw and one Alan Didak decided to enjoy a classy night at Kew’s finest tavern, the Geebung Polo Club. Somewhat more than a few beverages later, the junior Shaw elected to drive home in a slightly weaving manner, predictably taking out dodgem car style a few innocent bystanders (mercifully in the form of parked cars) on the way. The police arrived to find Shaw Jr and Didak on the scene, but were informed (as was the footy club) that Didak had not been in the car but had rather been summoned by Shaw to assist in his hour of need. This, not surprisingly, turned out to be a packet of lies. Didak had indeed been in the car, for the second year in a row he had made a bad passenger-related decision. Unfortunately for Collingwood, and El Presidente Eddie McGuire in particular, the truth didn’t emerge until after all and sundry had sworn blind before the assembled media that the passenger had not been Didak but a “scaly mate” of Shaw Jr’s. Hell hath no fury like a high profile TV show host made to look like a schmuck. When the dust settled both Didak and Shaw Jr had been handled season-ending suspensions and comparatively light fines (Shaw Sr got two weeks for drinking while injured). The suspensions of two of the Pies’ top players mean that just making the finals is going to be a big ask now, let alone getting a top four spot. And the dark horse of premiership contention has been put behind a screen and shot. It seems more than likely that Alan Didak will not be at Collingwood next season, the only reason he wasn’t sacked would seem to be that the Pies think they can get something for him on the trading market at the end of the year. By all accounts President McGuire gave the playing group a fearsome spray on Monday, not a happy team at all are the Magpies.
Hawthorn, on the other hand, are a very happy team as their jaunty club song would attest. And they were singing it long and loud on Friday night after easily accounting for the hapless Pies. As ever forward Lance “Buddy” Franklin was the man to watch, booting a lazy eight while missing another half dozen. One of these days he’s going to learn to kick straight and will break the goals in a game record by half time. As it is he’s leading the Coleman Medal tally for both goals and behinds. Eight was the magic number once more the next day at the MCG, this time it was Bombers’ skipper Matthew Lloyd enjoying a day out. Lloyd’s heroics were the bright spot of an otherwise lacklustre match, the absolute highlight was Lloyd turning back the years, launching himself into the stratosphere and most probably securing the car for Mark of the Year. Drive sober, Lloydy! Dons by 16 points, and a most unlikely finals appearance is still an outside possibility. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIPGdAL1gLU&feature=related
Alive too are the finals prospects of North Melbourne, who fought out a gritty win against the rapidly faltering Lions in the Roos’ last ever “home game” on the Gold Coast. With the Roos’ departure, the “coast” (b’doom ching!) is now clear for the as yet un-monikered new side- Gold Coast Dugongs, anyone? The Roos are now very much in the mix for the last top four spot, although getting it is going to be something of a poisoned chalice as it involves coming up against Geelong in the first week of the finals. The Roos did just that last year and got absolutely annihilated. Brisbane, on the other hand, would probably be happy just to be involved in September after blowing yet another winnable game. As indeed would Richmond, who took the game up to the seemingly unbeatable Cats in the first half, but were comprehensively trounced in the second. Not that there’s any shame in that, Hawthorn is the only team to get anywhere near Geelong in the last couple of months. In yet another game involving potential finalists, Adelaide was able to hold off the fast finishing Carlton. Difficult now for the Blues to make it to September, they’ll need to win all of their remaining matches to have a shot one would think.
To the Sunday matches, and to the great joy of the public service there was AFL footy on at Historic Manuka Oval- the match of the round, no less! And conditions were absolutely superlative, perfect blue sky, ground in excellent nick and two teams in the top four with everything to play for. The Bulldogs and Swans both looked resplendent in their contrasting strips but it was the Swans who got off to a flyer with four unanswered goals in the first six minutes. It appeared as though a boilover was on the cards, particularly as the Dogs had lost their last two matches. However Dogs’ coach Rodney Eade (formerly at the helm of the Swans) was able to flick a switch and the Bulldogs put through eleven of the next twelve goals to go in comfortably ahead at the halftime break. The Swans then had the better of the third quarter, but the Dogs held them off and recorded a very valuable win. Hawthorn and the Western Bulldogs are now all but certain to play each other in week one of the finals, what a cracker of a game that’s going to be. The Swans are still desperately clinging to fourth, but this was a rare defeat in their ACT home away from home. They’ll be looking to regain some form before the finals kick off.
To the last two games of Round 18 and down in Melbourne the Saints marched in in a close one against the massively underachieving Port Adelaide. It’s difficult to imagine how the Power made it to a Grand Final less than 12 months ago, they’ve never even looked like being a contender in 2008. The Saints though are still definitely in contention for that last top four spot. They were given extra motivation to have a real tilt for the title in the days following the Round’s conclusion by the announcement that the AFL’s oldest player Robert Harvey will hang up his boots at the end of this season. Harvey is an indisputable champion of the game, a back to back Brownlow Medallist and eight time all-Australian. He made his debut back in the old VFL in 1988- anyone remember World Expo ’88? Or the Seoul Olympics? Certainly not the copious number of players on AFL lists who weren’t even born in 1988! An amazing career, unlikely that anyone else is going to chalk up 21 seasons at the top level of such a physical game any time soon.
And historic retirements were the order of the day over in the west as well, as Freo’s final foundation player Sean McManus chose the latest version of Derby: Fully Loaded as the occasion for his final match. McManus has been there since day one of the Dockers’ long strange purple journey, through tragedy and disappointment, the bad moments and the frustrating. There haven’t been too many moments of actual success for Fremantle over the last fourteen seasons. However the two matches a season their long-suffering fans crave victory in are the two against West Coast, and this year the Dockers have won them both! So perhaps their season hasn’t been all bad after all. Their win saw them leapfrog Port Adelaide into fourth bottom, the Eagles’ are now rooted in the bottom two and still in danger of a first wooden spoon just two seasons after taking a (possibly substance-assisted) premiership.
So just four rounds to go in the 2008 home and away season for all bar those whose propensity to have a lager or two, drive in a less than confidence-inspiring manner and then play fast and loose with the truth have seen them banished to the sidelines. Drive carefully, all! And never, ever, make Eddie McGuire look foolish. Here’s a treat, a sneak preview of the AFL Grand Final pre-game entertainment for 2008. See you back here for the Round 19 Wrap next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31x2WpuSAkA
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