Round Twenty: The Clash of the Titans

There are certain inevitabilities in the final rounds of any AFL season. A spate of retirements occurs, as long-serving warriors come to the realisation that their dodgy hamstring/ knee/ performance/ court record is probably going to preclude them from going around for one more season. Fans of the Richmond and Fremantle Football Clubs accept the inevitable of two possibilities; either that their team’s late season gallantry is still not going to make up for their shocking early season form and get them into the finals; or that a bottom of the ladder finish at least will enable them to get a number one draft pick, which they’ll be sure to use wisely on players who will be around for a decade and who will propel the team to the top of the ladder (please don’t mention Richard Lounder or Trent Croad). And whispers of “tanking” will appear, as teams still under the magical threshold of five wins will mysteriously go down in matches in which they should ordinarily be lay down miseres.

And so it has proved once more in 2008. At least this year the tanking madness has held off until Round 20. Last year Carlton was at it before the last of the autumn leaves had hit the ground. This time it is the West Coast Eagles, premiers a mere two seasons ago, who have found themselves banished from the penthouse to the poorhouse in 2008. An awful 2008 for the Weagles has had only three silver linings: cross-town rivals the Dockers have also had a shocker, the Demons have played a season so woeful that it has put every other underperforming side firmly in the shade, and finishing at the bottom will allow for the selection of a new model Chris Judd (who hopefully will stay put in WA) or Ben Cousins (who hopefully won’t go off the rails).

Such is the degree of weary cynicism among AFL fans these days, there was scarcely a raised eyebrow when the betting odds for the Round 20 Melbourne versus West Coast match (“Clash of the Titans!”) were posted. The Demons a week earlier may have resembled Eric the Eel desperately thrashing in the pool while the Michael Phelps-like Geelong tumble-turned with graceful ease, but they went into this match warm favourites. And the Eagles may have ended the Bombers’ finals chances with a gutsy and skilful performance worthy of a Usain Bolt (after a couple of years of being slightly more Ben Johnson - the disgraced sprinter, not the Collingwood player), but not a brass razoo was laid on their chances of beating the bottom-placed Dees. And so it duly came to pass, in one of the worst games of this or any other season. The Eagles were truly appalling, kicking just five goals for the game and only 1 goal 10 behinds in the entire second half. The Demons were marginally less bad, kicking 11 goals for the game. The crowd stayed away in droves, with just 18,000 turning up to the cavernous MCG. Luckily the radio and TV audience was huge, in the northern states at least, because for some inexplicable reason it was selected as the match of the day over Essendon-Adelaide. Madness.

The round had in fact commenced the previous night when Collingwood proved that all those who’d written them off after Liar-gate two weeks earlier (including yours truly) were a bunch of fools by recording a gutsy five goal win interstate against the Power. While Port in 2008 are a traumatised shadow of the exciting side that made it all the way to Grand Final day in 2007 and then got annihilated, winning interstate is never an easy proposition and the Pies will be well pleased to have gained the four points. They’re pretty much guaranteed a finals spot now, although they’d still like another win or two going into the finals. The Power are already looking ahead to 2009, as are a bulk of their supporters given the pitiful turn-up at the match.
In the game on Saturday arvo deemed inferior to the “Clash of the Titans!”, Adelaide made history by recording their first ever victory in Victoria (not Victor-Victoria!) against the Bombers. After a midseason slump the Crows are coming good at the right time of the year. To be fair to the Bombers, whose shoulders might have slumped after their finals chances had vanished across the Nullabor the previous week, their injury list before the game resembled that of a particularly gallant World War One outfit. Their injury list after the game resembled that of General Custer’s regiment, as player after player went down wounded. All of these injuries have had a calamitous effect not only on Essendon’s finals chances, but also on their feeder side the Bendigo Bombers in the second tier Victorian Football League (VFL). With so many Essendon players out the Bendigo seniors found their own ranks drastically depleted and had to fill the gaps with reserves players for their encounter with Williamstown on the weekend. They kicked one goal for the day and went down by 155 points. For their part the poor old reserves team had to resort to recruiting the taller kids from the halftime Auskick program to fill in for the day, they kicked two behinds in total and lost by an astonishing 239 points.

Back in the big league, and there were a couple of eagerly awaited encounters on on Saturday night. It was fourth versus first as Sydney hosted Geelong. The Cats kept alive their chances of equalling the most successful season ever by leaping out of the blocks in the first quarter and then holding the Swans at bay after that. The Swans are still a chance of missing the finals altogether if they can’t get a win in the last two weeks of the season, and neither of their remaining fixtures is a gimme in anyone’s book. Up north the Brisbane Lions kept their own finals chances alive by continuing the Western Bulldogs’ recent slide and taking home a tight 11 point win after trailing all night. Perhaps the Lions were buoyed by the news that their long serving champion Nigel Lappin, the last of the Brisbane Bears and the Ringo Starr of the midfield “Fab Four” (the others being Brownlow Medallists Michael Voss, Simon Black and Jason Akermanis) was hanging up his boots come season’s end. These days Akermanis (who in the Fab Four was both John Lennon and Yoko Ono rolled into one) plies his trade in the red, white and blue of the Dogs, who would very much like to get some form back before they come up against Hawthorn in week one of the finals.

The Hawks, though, are not travelling in the most convincing manner possible themselves. They dropped a game nobody expected them to against Richmond on the Sunday afternoon, bringing the Tigers' very slim finals hopes back to life after they'd looked to have been snuffed out the previous weekend. The major problem for Hawthorn this weekend- and indeed, every weekend- is that if Buddy Franklin has an off day with the boot and nobody else can step up they're in trouble. Franklin's forward partner Jarryd Roughead has had a great season but he had a shocker on the weekend. Part of the problem was the Hawks' midfield becoming too Buddy-centric, possibly understandably as he started the day on 91 goals and there was a feeling that he could easily kick 9 for the ton against a demoralised Richmond. It wasn't to be, though, and Geelong will have watched Richmond's defensive tactics with a great deal of interest given that Hawthorn is the team most likely to oppose them on Grand Final day this year.

But not if North Melbourne has anything to say about it. The perenially underrated Roos are coming home with a wet sail in 2008 and they disposed of Carlton in clinical fashion to take over fourth spot. An eight goal second quarter set up the Roos' win, a result which makes it almost impossible for the Blues to play finals in 2008. Their major interest now is in ensuring that the Urinator gets to the ton of goals in the last two weeks. But the Roos are now a real contender. Last year they finished fourth and got walloped by 100 points by Geelong in the first final, but they're looking better this year than last. They may well fancy their chances of causing the mother of all upsets if they're drawn to play each other once more. They'll get an early opportunity to have a go at the Cats as they're off to Kardinia Park this weekend.

One game to complete Round 20, and St Kilda battled hard to ensure a victory they had to have in the west against the Dockers. The Saints are now hanging on grimly to eighth spot, level on points with Collingwood but with an inferior percentage. Brisbane are a game behind and snapping at their heels. Sydney, in sixth, are half a game clear of the Magpies and Saints but are in awful form. Richmond, in tenth, need to win both of their last two matches and need somebody above them to lose both of theirs; Carlton, in eleventh, need the same equation but they need to win their own games by about 100 points apiece to get their percentage up.

So it's all shaped up for a thrilling final two rounds. Will Melbourne's taste of victory put them on a late season roll? Can North cause a boilover down the Avalon Highway? Will Buddy or the Urinator get the century? Will the Bendigo Bombers reserves kick a goal this week? The answers to all these and more- right here at Wrap Central.