To an unwitting observer, AFL and Canberra may seem like two very foreign concepts. Canberra doesn't boast a side in the AFL, whereas the Brumbies of rugby union and the Raiders of rugby league both fly the flag of our national capital on a weekly basis. But don't be fooled! Footy passion in the wasted sheep station does exist, both among the homesick expats from Traditional Football States, those indigenous to the area and even, it would seem, among members of Her Majesty's Loyal Government.
Those following the AFL this season from any sort of distance would be well aware that the league is facing something of a PR problem with drugs (otherwise known as the West Coast Eagles). Some might also be aware that Australian voters go to the polls this year, in an election which looks more and more to be shaping up as a government-changer. So it came as not much of a surprise at all when the government seized upon the AFL drug policy as a potential means of winning over mums and dads both alert and alarmed that AFL clubs were apparently doubling as some sort of latter-day opium dens. Two high ranking government members made the trip down to Melbourne to demand that the AFL revise its much criticised "three strikes" drug policy. However AFL Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou, no fan of the Government, refused to play ball, suggesting that the government talk to the other 80-odd sports registered in Australia who have no drug policy at all before returning for another chat on the matter. Expect this one to come up again the next time an Eagle hits the headlines.
To the joy of Canberran footyheads of all loyalties the AFL roadshow came travelling through over the weekend, giving yours truly the rare opportunity to actually see a match in the flesh. Historic Manuka Oval was bursting at the seams as 14,500 people (which might almost fill the Ponsford Stand at the MCG) came along for the first fixture since the Canberroos gave up and became the Carrarraroos- Western Bulldogs vs Sydney. A most enjoyable day out it was in the late autumn sun, except for hardcore Dogs fans (including the well-lubricated and very vocal group sitting behind me) as the Swans never looked troubled in posting an easy win. Like all Canberra games the crowd were wearing the colours of all 16 clubs, plus an array of attire from rugby union, league, soccer, ten pin bowling, farnakling and darts. It's an eclectic town, sports-wise.
The round kicked off with an ominous fixture- St Kilda live on the TV. Following the universal gnashing of teeth that had followed their last dismal televised appearance against St Kilda, the AFL and Channel Seven must have been dreading the Saints' encounter against Freo. But in stark contrast, this could not have been a more entertaining game. From players landing on their heads after spectacular marks to a completely anarchial approach from both teams, this one had it all. As is common to Freo games, a bloke in the crowd rings a bell everytime former skipper Peter Bell (get it?) gets a touch. He was ringing away as though it was VE Day, Bell was everywhere. If only there'd been a bloke sitting next to him firing off a klaxon horn everytime either team committed a "clanger", the combined din would have reached Madagascar. Both teams turned the ball over with merry abandon, coaches Connolly and Lyon must have aged ten years apiece in the coaches' box. In the end Freo committed slightly less errors and that, combined with yet another addition to St Kilda's comically long injury list (the last VFL player Robert Harvey in game 349), saw the Dockers across the line.
On Saturday Carlton hosted Adelaide. Let me give credit where credit is due. Adelaide's red away strip removed rather than contributed to a clash of jumpers and didn't feature a cartoon crow or indeed any object, animal, mineral, vegetable or phallus (I'm looking at you, Port Adelaide!!). That's what a clash jumper is supposed to be. Not surprisingly, Adelaide looked like a football team and played like one too, accounting for the Blues as per general expectation. Down in Tasmania, however, a big shock was on the cards as the Hawks easily accounted for ladder-leaders West Coast. In the evening games Collingwood were too good for Brisbane up at the Gabba, where they haven't won for quite some time. And my policy of keeping a blind eye and deaf ear to the goings-on of the Bombers proved a winner as they seized victory from the jaws of defeat against the still winless Tiges. General opinion is that Richmond were ripped off in this one, the much maligned in the back interpretation costing temperamental star forward Richo a late goal that would have put Richmond in the lead. Oh well, better luck next week. At least the Punt Roaders can take consolation in the fact that Melbourne is also still winless and able to blow the unblowable. The Demons were unable to defend a five point lead with a minute to go and lost their ninth straight by a point, their third defeat in four weeks by a goal or less.
The final game of Round Nine saw the high flying Cats soundly thump Port Adelaide away from home. Is this the season when Geelong will finally make the break-through? It's shaping up at this stage as a West Coast-Geelong GF, maybe it will be third time lucky for the Cats. But there's still plenty of time between now and the big day. Many, many things could happen. Could drugs in the AFL be the Tampa the government is looking for? Probably not actually. But you never, never know. In politics, as in football, it ain't over until the siren has sounded, the bell has tolled and the klaxon has ...klaxoned for the final clanger. See you back here for Round 10.
29 May 2007
23 May 2007
Round Eight: Feck arf, coop!
It has often been commented that Australian Rules Football is not a game which lends itself well to television. For starters, unlike games such as soccer, rugby or tennis AFL grounds are extremely big, making it impossible to simultaneously cover both the on-ball and down the field action. When the action is close-up on a player wheeling out of a pack and booting the ball downfield, it isn't until the camera zooms back that it becomes clear whether his kick is on a perfect trajectory to a fast-leading teammate, has gone over his head and dribbled out of bounds, or is on a perfect trajectory to a fast-leading opponent. You often need to rely on crowd reaction noise to tell you the story, not easy when the game is Melbourne-Freo at the MCG on a wet June Sunday afternoon in front of 11,000 people. There really is no substitute for being there. However, given that the AFL involves 8 matches a weekend across five states (unless there happens to be a game on that weekend in Darwin, Launceston, Canberra, Cairns, Norfolk Island or the Australian Antarctic Base) no human alive can make it to all 8 matches barring some sort of Star Trek telepathic device. Whether if you were in possession of such a device you would wish to utilise it on being present on the aforementioned Melbourne-Freo game is a question only you can answer, gentle reader.
So despite the shortcomings of television coverage of AFL, it is unfortunately necessary for footy funs to utilise its services from time to time. Such was the case for me last weekend, when I found myself sitting in front of the box for a number of fixtures. Living in a "non-traditional football state", my previous experience of AFL coverage under the Eddie McGuire regime had not been a positive one. How well I remember my righteous wrath one Friday night when waiting to see the Bombers and having to sit through not only the rugby league, not only the late news but would you believe it the Queen Mother's funeral procession! So I was quite mollified to discover that for the moment the Seven affiliate is screening the Friday game at 8.30pm and I was thus able to see Richmond's latest defeat in something approaching real time. The Crows kicked off with three goals in what seemed like a minute, and another Tiger tragedy looked on the cards. But to their credit Richmond fought back valiantly and had tipsters across the nation on tenterhooks before falling agonisingly short at the final siren. Eight straight, but a lot better than a couple of their previous defeats.
The next day featured a rarity- a Bombers game live from the MCG! So needless to say I went down the pub to watch it, only to find that the pub was screening the Geelong-Fremantle game on Foxtel. My self-imposed exile from the Dons game had the desired effect- Essendon roundly thumped the Brisbane Lions by ten goals. Given that every Essendon game I've watched, attended or listened to this season has resulted in defeat, I will now undertake a policy of football abstinence and hopefully the Dons will go on to take the flag as a result. The Geelong game wasn't a bad watch, it's always nice to see a bit of suburban footy on and the Cats didn't have any real problems in disposing of Freo.
Following my long afternoon down the pub I was somewhat the worse for wear when I arrived home and put on the late match- Hawthorn vs St Kilda. I thought I was suffering from blurred vision when I looked at the score board- 3 goals to 2 approaching three quarter time! Sadly I wasn't, this was one of the most boring, negative, godawful matches for many a day and the fans from both team were not restrained in voicing their opinions. Incredibly, there was something on at the exact same time that was equally bad- the FA Cup final on SBS in which Chelsea and Manchester United attempted to bore their opponents into submission. FA Cup was an apt description- I was reminded of one of my favourite lines from the magnificent sitcom Father Ted (Mrs Doyle solicitously offers Father Jack a cup of tea- "Now, what would you say to a cup?"
Father Jack drunkenly bellows back "Feck arf, coop!") I was doing a fair bit of drunken bellowing myself as I switched between the two shockers before giving up on them both and going to bed. Hawthorn won the footy I think, couldn't care less about the soccer.
Nursing a mild hangover the next day, I arose around noon and perused the papers. All were highly critical of the Hawks-Saints game which didn't surprise. It turned out that the other game on the Saturday night which was on Foxtel- Carlton vs the Carrararoos- had been an absolute cracker, a goalfest which the Roos had won. Once more I had ended up watching the wrong game. Oh well. I managed to watch the end of the Port-Sydney game, in which the Swans broke their run of recent defeats and knocked the Power off the top of the ladder (happily Port were wearing slightly less appalling jumpers this week). In the other matches, which somehow I didn't manage to see, West Coast took top spot back by thumping the hapless Demons who along with Richmond remain winless after 8 weeks. I'm sure supporters of both clubs are thanking their lucky stars for the existence of the other. My Magpie supporting brother in law informed me that he had experienced the same problem as me- completely unable to find the Pies-Dogs clash on the TV he had been forced to resort to an internet stream from the Geelong-based K-Rock radio station, famed for highly regional ads and for kicking off on weekday mornings with something called "Greg's Morning Horn". And the Pies lost too.
So there you have it. Footy on TV is guaranteed to give you a restricted showing of the wrong game. And yet I'm forced to watch it in order to keep up the quality standards of the wrap. The things I do for both of you people. See you again next week for Round Nine.
So despite the shortcomings of television coverage of AFL, it is unfortunately necessary for footy funs to utilise its services from time to time. Such was the case for me last weekend, when I found myself sitting in front of the box for a number of fixtures. Living in a "non-traditional football state", my previous experience of AFL coverage under the Eddie McGuire regime had not been a positive one. How well I remember my righteous wrath one Friday night when waiting to see the Bombers and having to sit through not only the rugby league, not only the late news but would you believe it the Queen Mother's funeral procession! So I was quite mollified to discover that for the moment the Seven affiliate is screening the Friday game at 8.30pm and I was thus able to see Richmond's latest defeat in something approaching real time. The Crows kicked off with three goals in what seemed like a minute, and another Tiger tragedy looked on the cards. But to their credit Richmond fought back valiantly and had tipsters across the nation on tenterhooks before falling agonisingly short at the final siren. Eight straight, but a lot better than a couple of their previous defeats.
The next day featured a rarity- a Bombers game live from the MCG! So needless to say I went down the pub to watch it, only to find that the pub was screening the Geelong-Fremantle game on Foxtel. My self-imposed exile from the Dons game had the desired effect- Essendon roundly thumped the Brisbane Lions by ten goals. Given that every Essendon game I've watched, attended or listened to this season has resulted in defeat, I will now undertake a policy of football abstinence and hopefully the Dons will go on to take the flag as a result. The Geelong game wasn't a bad watch, it's always nice to see a bit of suburban footy on and the Cats didn't have any real problems in disposing of Freo.
Following my long afternoon down the pub I was somewhat the worse for wear when I arrived home and put on the late match- Hawthorn vs St Kilda. I thought I was suffering from blurred vision when I looked at the score board- 3 goals to 2 approaching three quarter time! Sadly I wasn't, this was one of the most boring, negative, godawful matches for many a day and the fans from both team were not restrained in voicing their opinions. Incredibly, there was something on at the exact same time that was equally bad- the FA Cup final on SBS in which Chelsea and Manchester United attempted to bore their opponents into submission. FA Cup was an apt description- I was reminded of one of my favourite lines from the magnificent sitcom Father Ted (Mrs Doyle solicitously offers Father Jack a cup of tea- "Now, what would you say to a cup?"
Father Jack drunkenly bellows back "Feck arf, coop!") I was doing a fair bit of drunken bellowing myself as I switched between the two shockers before giving up on them both and going to bed. Hawthorn won the footy I think, couldn't care less about the soccer.
Nursing a mild hangover the next day, I arose around noon and perused the papers. All were highly critical of the Hawks-Saints game which didn't surprise. It turned out that the other game on the Saturday night which was on Foxtel- Carlton vs the Carrararoos- had been an absolute cracker, a goalfest which the Roos had won. Once more I had ended up watching the wrong game. Oh well. I managed to watch the end of the Port-Sydney game, in which the Swans broke their run of recent defeats and knocked the Power off the top of the ladder (happily Port were wearing slightly less appalling jumpers this week). In the other matches, which somehow I didn't manage to see, West Coast took top spot back by thumping the hapless Demons who along with Richmond remain winless after 8 weeks. I'm sure supporters of both clubs are thanking their lucky stars for the existence of the other. My Magpie supporting brother in law informed me that he had experienced the same problem as me- completely unable to find the Pies-Dogs clash on the TV he had been forced to resort to an internet stream from the Geelong-based K-Rock radio station, famed for highly regional ads and for kicking off on weekday mornings with something called "Greg's Morning Horn". And the Pies lost too.
So there you have it. Footy on TV is guaranteed to give you a restricted showing of the wrong game. And yet I'm forced to watch it in order to keep up the quality standards of the wrap. The things I do for both of you people. See you again next week for Round Nine.
15 May 2007
Round Seven: A Sartorial Shocker
Regular purveyors of the Wrap (best regards to both of you) will be aware that the topic of dodgy change/ preseason/ novelty/ rip off the supporter jumpers is one that raises my ire. For starters, teams seem to wear them for no logical reason whatsoever. I well recall Geelong some years back bringing out their all navy blue change jumper (the Carlton-wannabe) in a game against Melbourne, which of course also wears a predominately navy blue jumper- thereby creating a clash of jumpers in a fixture where no clash had previously existed. More importantly though, they inevitably look shithouse. There's a reason why the traditional jumper designs have survived the decades- they are simple, classy, distinctive and they look like football jumpers. The melange of poorly conceived jumpers which have sprouted up like poisonous toadstools in recent years have been legion. They've ranged a veritable menagerie of stupid animal shapes (surely the supporters don't need a picture of a Crow on the jumper to grasp the concept that the team's nickname is the Crows for example?). They've featured an eyewatering array of garish colours completely unrelated to the team wearing them (North in orange, St Kilda in canary yellow, Carlton in sky blue and last week for some reason in lily white). That one got past me in last week's wrap, possibly as I was overwhelmed by Richmond's stunning capitulation, but it does raise the question- had Carlton won the match, would they have had to alter the lyrics to the club song? Possibly along the lines of "We are the lily whites, in recent sea-sons, we've been shite..." Fortunately it's all academic now. Up until this point in time, I would have rated the worst jumpers ever as Hawthorn's Derby Day preseason outfit with the blue, gold and brown diamonds, Collingwood's barcode preseason effort with the magic eye magpie on the front (wearing an actual Collingwood jumper and therefore looking far more dignified than any of the players) and West Coast's rainbow gay pride away jumper. But on the weekend just gone Port Adelaide unveiled a horror that has shot to the front of the pack and which will surely live in infamy forever.
How to describe it? Well, it did remain true to the Power's traditional (well, since 1997) colours of black, white and teal blue. The design however was, to say the least, poorly conceived. The top half was teal, the bottom half black. Emerging from bottom centre was a grey arm with a clenched fist grasping a white lightning bolt. The overall effect? Without wanting to be rude, crude and altogether unattractive, given that the arm was emerging from the players' shorts it looked rather more like a slightly different appendage, particularly with the clenched fist on top. The lightning bolt was a bit of a worry. One could imagine that the entire jumper was designed in tribute to a failed romantic liaison between The Thing (the scaly one from the Fantastic Four) and Storm (the weather-controller from the X-Men), which had ended disastrously in a painful and embarrassing journey to the emergency room which attending medical personnel had dined out on for weeks. As if poor old Richmond didn't have enough on their minds after last week's shallacking. Faced with such a ghastly vision they never stood a chance and went down for the seventh week in a row. Port on the other hand shot to the top of the ladder and are currently auctioning off their jumpers on E-bay. Hopefully purchasers will burn them on arrival, thus ensuring that they can never disgrace a football field ever again.
Other fixtures largely went according to script, although Adelaide's away victory in Brisbane was something of a surprise. The Demons went agonisingly close to breaking their duck before going down to a last minute goal against the Bulldogs. Essendon as usual started like a house on fire but sprayed their chances and then wilted in the face of opposition pressure to give North their fourth win on the trot. Carlton and Collingwood duked it out at the MCG in front of an appreciative crowd, the Magpies were too good in the end. The Swans' sluggish start to 2007 continued as they went down to St Kilda. The home ground advantage proved the difference over in the west as the Dockers took the points over Hawthorn. And the Eagles have finally been grounded as the Cats did it easily down at the Cattery- the Eagles' first defeat since last year's finals and enough to topple them from their lofty perch of top spot.
A third of the season gone, still a lot to play for. See you back here next week, although if you want to find me in the meantime look no further than Port's jumper auction on Ebay- I'll have my money in one hand and a lit Molotov cocktail in the other. (Not literally, if anyone from Ebay/ the Australian Federal Police is reading!)
How to describe it? Well, it did remain true to the Power's traditional (well, since 1997) colours of black, white and teal blue. The design however was, to say the least, poorly conceived. The top half was teal, the bottom half black. Emerging from bottom centre was a grey arm with a clenched fist grasping a white lightning bolt. The overall effect? Without wanting to be rude, crude and altogether unattractive, given that the arm was emerging from the players' shorts it looked rather more like a slightly different appendage, particularly with the clenched fist on top. The lightning bolt was a bit of a worry. One could imagine that the entire jumper was designed in tribute to a failed romantic liaison between The Thing (the scaly one from the Fantastic Four) and Storm (the weather-controller from the X-Men), which had ended disastrously in a painful and embarrassing journey to the emergency room which attending medical personnel had dined out on for weeks. As if poor old Richmond didn't have enough on their minds after last week's shallacking. Faced with such a ghastly vision they never stood a chance and went down for the seventh week in a row. Port on the other hand shot to the top of the ladder and are currently auctioning off their jumpers on E-bay. Hopefully purchasers will burn them on arrival, thus ensuring that they can never disgrace a football field ever again.
Other fixtures largely went according to script, although Adelaide's away victory in Brisbane was something of a surprise. The Demons went agonisingly close to breaking their duck before going down to a last minute goal against the Bulldogs. Essendon as usual started like a house on fire but sprayed their chances and then wilted in the face of opposition pressure to give North their fourth win on the trot. Carlton and Collingwood duked it out at the MCG in front of an appreciative crowd, the Magpies were too good in the end. The Swans' sluggish start to 2007 continued as they went down to St Kilda. The home ground advantage proved the difference over in the west as the Dockers took the points over Hawthorn. And the Eagles have finally been grounded as the Cats did it easily down at the Cattery- the Eagles' first defeat since last year's finals and enough to topple them from their lofty perch of top spot.
A third of the season gone, still a lot to play for. See you back here next week, although if you want to find me in the meantime look no further than Port's jumper auction on Ebay- I'll have my money in one hand and a lit Molotov cocktail in the other. (Not literally, if anyone from Ebay/ the Australian Federal Police is reading!)
09 May 2007
Round Six: Farty-two gools tae nil!!
Some years ago I heard a very funny Rowan Atkinson sketch in which he plays the coach of a somewhat unsuccessful Scottish soccer side, berating his team in the dressing room. The opening lines still crack me up- "Farty-two gools tae nil!! Farty-two gools tae nil!! Lads...ah'm hut. Hut...und asheemed. Farty-two gools tae nil! (Sigh)....still...noo tae worry.... ut's... only.... haff...taem..." One can only imagine that Terry Wallace expressed similar sentiments at half time of the Richmond-Geelong game, as the hapless Tiges went in to the sheds having conceded twenty goals in a single half of football. It didn't get any better for the Punt Roaders as the Cats kicked a further 15 in the second half to give their own record highest score a fair shake. It's fair to say that not too many people saw Richmond's car crash of a performance coming- they'd been pretty good against the reigning premiers the previous week while the Cats had been ordinary. Certainly the infuriated Yellow and Black multitudes who jammed the talkback airwaves in the days following the Cat-astrophe were less than thrilled at the Keystone Cops-like performance of their young side. Many coaching and administrative decisions were brought into question, particularly the move to tell experienced defender Darren Gaspar that he would be overlooked at the selection table in favour of younger players. Gaspar promptly retired and the younger players conceded 35 goals, an error pointed out by many of the Richmond faithful in and with various degrees of eloquence, sobriety and profanity. But at least they haven't all walked away in disgust, which frankly they'd be entitled to do after witnessing year after woeful year both on and off the field. All teams have a dud year or two, but Richmond is now well into its third consecutive dud decade. The penniless Carrararoos must be green with envy at the loyalty of the huge Richmond supporter base (green incidentally being one of the few jumper colours the 'roos haven't worn over the years- I distinctly remember them turning out in orange at one point some seasons back).
The Tige's Yarra Park neighbours Melbourne also remain winless, although they at least had some honour in their five point loss to souring Port Adelaide. A pitifully small crowd at the gargantuan MCG expressed their disdain for various umpiring decisions in similar terms to the Tigers' talkback callers, particularly some near the end which may well have cost the Dees their opening win for 2007. Umpiring though was not a factor in Essendon's latest failure- the difference between the two sides there was one Lance "Buddy" Franklin (or "Bloody" Franklin as he is now better known to Bombers fans). Franklin took the game by the thruff of the scrote (apologies to the Twelfth Man) with a virtuoso nine goal performance, including five in about as many minutes in the second quarter. Another team which can't buy a win at the moment is Carlton, who went down by 7 goals to St Kilda. The Blues did claw their way back from the brink with five unanswered goals, only to inexplicably cease all labours forthwith and allow the Saints an easy four points.
The Eagles remain unbeaten on top of the table after defeating the gutsy Bulldogs over in the west. It was a standard week for the Weagles- four more points and one more player in court. This week's villain was the oddly named Llane Spaandermann- I think that's how it's spelt, although there may be a few more a's, l's or n's- who was convicted after acting as a standover man while his mates smashed up a party. To be fair, he hadn't yet commenced work with the Eagles at the time of the incident so drugs at least were not a factor.
Frustration up at the Gabba for the other Westralian side, the Dockers still waiting for their first win at that venue over the Lions. A forty-five point win kept the resurgent Queenslanders at the right end of the table, but a disappointing defeat for Freo after a couple of consecutive wins. Collingwood enjoyed a rare away victory in Adelaide over the Crows, forty-five points the margin there also.
So after six rounds have been played, I am now prepared to declare the Tiges and Dees GONE for 2007. The Eagles on the other hand are officially HOME finals wise. Thirteen into seven won't go, so there's everything to play for as the shadows grow longer and the mercury drops. See you back here for Round Seven.
The Tige's Yarra Park neighbours Melbourne also remain winless, although they at least had some honour in their five point loss to souring Port Adelaide. A pitifully small crowd at the gargantuan MCG expressed their disdain for various umpiring decisions in similar terms to the Tigers' talkback callers, particularly some near the end which may well have cost the Dees their opening win for 2007. Umpiring though was not a factor in Essendon's latest failure- the difference between the two sides there was one Lance "Buddy" Franklin (or "Bloody" Franklin as he is now better known to Bombers fans). Franklin took the game by the thruff of the scrote (apologies to the Twelfth Man) with a virtuoso nine goal performance, including five in about as many minutes in the second quarter. Another team which can't buy a win at the moment is Carlton, who went down by 7 goals to St Kilda. The Blues did claw their way back from the brink with five unanswered goals, only to inexplicably cease all labours forthwith and allow the Saints an easy four points.
The Eagles remain unbeaten on top of the table after defeating the gutsy Bulldogs over in the west. It was a standard week for the Weagles- four more points and one more player in court. This week's villain was the oddly named Llane Spaandermann- I think that's how it's spelt, although there may be a few more a's, l's or n's- who was convicted after acting as a standover man while his mates smashed up a party. To be fair, he hadn't yet commenced work with the Eagles at the time of the incident so drugs at least were not a factor.
Frustration up at the Gabba for the other Westralian side, the Dockers still waiting for their first win at that venue over the Lions. A forty-five point win kept the resurgent Queenslanders at the right end of the table, but a disappointing defeat for Freo after a couple of consecutive wins. Collingwood enjoyed a rare away victory in Adelaide over the Crows, forty-five points the margin there also.
So after six rounds have been played, I am now prepared to declare the Tiges and Dees GONE for 2007. The Eagles on the other hand are officially HOME finals wise. Thirteen into seven won't go, so there's everything to play for as the shadows grow longer and the mercury drops. See you back here for Round Seven.
02 May 2007
Round 5: Jetlagged and Homeless
Jet lag is a cruel beast, my friends. One moment you're wandering the streets of Melbourne feeling perky as a marionette, the next you're flat-out on your sister's couch snoring and drooling in front of a DVD of "That '70s Show". Jet lag knocked me round for days following my return to Oz, culminating in me managing to crash out at 4PM on April 24 and wake up at 1AM on April 25. Ordinarily there's not a lot one can do at that time of the morning, but fortunately this was Anzac Day and I was able for the first time to attend the Dawn Service at the Shrine of Remembrance. An amazingly moving event, very glad I went.
Footy-wise of course, Anzac Day means Essendon vs Collingwood and wasn't I excited to have a ticket to the big game. Having previously turned up to three Anzac Day matches for three losses ('96, '98 and '06), I was in no doubt whatsoever that Essendon's encouraging form in 2007 would make this a victory to savour. After all, the Bombers had already had their requisite shock defeat against inferior opposition in Round 3, it couldn't possibly happen again I thought. How wrong can a man be?
Essendon lost of course. 4 from 4. Next year I'll go bushwalking or something and no doubt we'll win by a hundred points. God it was a frustrating day. Even in my chronically jetlagged state I could identify the signs which clearly identified that a Bomber balls-up was about to occur. First, we started like a house on fire but failed to capitalise, missing some absolute gimme shots at goal (Matthew Lloyd). Second, we were unable to prevent the opposition from making inroads back into the game and building confidence in the leadup to halftime. Third, when the opposition inevitably surged in the third quarter panic resulted and there was someone ready and willing to make an inexplicably stupid error to give away a goal (Kepler Bradley, take a bow). Fourth, when this all came to pass heads dropped and there was a red and black stream to the exits as the opposition celebrated an unlikely victory. Luckily I'd passed out by that point. To be fair Collingwood did play reasonably well.
This all took place on a Wednesday- not the most conventional footy day ever. By the time Friday rolled around I'd nearly gotten over both the defeat and the jetlag. However my ongoing search for accommodation took precedence over the watching of football and I was thus in no position to witness Port give St Kilda another belting in the wet. Whilst driving frantically across town trying to inspect properties the next day I did manage to listen to the early stages of the Richmond-West Coast clash- the young Tiges gave the premiers (and every punter in Australia) a mighty scare before a combination of experience and one-sided umpiring got the Eagles across the line. The evening matches saw two interesting if contrasting affairs: a shoot-out at the dome between Carlton and Brisbane which saw the Lions finish with slightly more ammo for; then a phyrric victory for the Swans over the hapless and now playing for draft picks Demons- the Swans got the points but lost several players to long term injuries.
On Sunday morning the news came through that yet another WA-based player was in trouble with the law- this time though it was not the notorious Eagles at fault, which must have come as an enormously pleasant surprise to their overworked PR people. Instead it was Freo's Jeff Farmer, off serving a suspension for eye gouging, who apparently tried to bash his way into a nightclub through the bouncing staff. Fortunately for him he didn't end up in a David Hookes like situation but was merely arrested for his pains, after which his furious club deemed him persona non grata for a considerable period of time. After all that the Dockers got up by a solitary point on virtually the last kick of the day in front of the ecstatic Purple Haze, gaining their second win for 07 and giving Australia's second most famous McManus a great memory for his 200th game in the process.
In the other games the Dogs- mercifully wearing their correct jumper this week- accounted for the Hawks, while the Carrararoos surprised everybody by beating Geelong down at their once feared home ground, these days going under the name of some kind of corporate logo. To my mind the Cats made a huge error by agreeing to sell off the name of Kardinia Park, particularly as it features in the club song ie. "..from dawn to dark, down at Kardinia Park." Changing the line to fit in with changing sponsors can't be easy and no doubt have preoccupied the players during matches there- "...we'll send the other team to hell, down at the ground called Shell" or "..the other team they will be killed, down at the ground called Skilled"? Maybe they'd be better off just going with "The Cattery" and offering Essendon a huge amount of money for the services of young Henry Slattery? Just a thought.
Until next week then, when hopefully yours truly will be celebrating a Dons victory while no longer living out of a suitcase.
Footy-wise of course, Anzac Day means Essendon vs Collingwood and wasn't I excited to have a ticket to the big game. Having previously turned up to three Anzac Day matches for three losses ('96, '98 and '06), I was in no doubt whatsoever that Essendon's encouraging form in 2007 would make this a victory to savour. After all, the Bombers had already had their requisite shock defeat against inferior opposition in Round 3, it couldn't possibly happen again I thought. How wrong can a man be?
Essendon lost of course. 4 from 4. Next year I'll go bushwalking or something and no doubt we'll win by a hundred points. God it was a frustrating day. Even in my chronically jetlagged state I could identify the signs which clearly identified that a Bomber balls-up was about to occur. First, we started like a house on fire but failed to capitalise, missing some absolute gimme shots at goal (Matthew Lloyd). Second, we were unable to prevent the opposition from making inroads back into the game and building confidence in the leadup to halftime. Third, when the opposition inevitably surged in the third quarter panic resulted and there was someone ready and willing to make an inexplicably stupid error to give away a goal (Kepler Bradley, take a bow). Fourth, when this all came to pass heads dropped and there was a red and black stream to the exits as the opposition celebrated an unlikely victory. Luckily I'd passed out by that point. To be fair Collingwood did play reasonably well.
This all took place on a Wednesday- not the most conventional footy day ever. By the time Friday rolled around I'd nearly gotten over both the defeat and the jetlag. However my ongoing search for accommodation took precedence over the watching of football and I was thus in no position to witness Port give St Kilda another belting in the wet. Whilst driving frantically across town trying to inspect properties the next day I did manage to listen to the early stages of the Richmond-West Coast clash- the young Tiges gave the premiers (and every punter in Australia) a mighty scare before a combination of experience and one-sided umpiring got the Eagles across the line. The evening matches saw two interesting if contrasting affairs: a shoot-out at the dome between Carlton and Brisbane which saw the Lions finish with slightly more ammo for; then a phyrric victory for the Swans over the hapless and now playing for draft picks Demons- the Swans got the points but lost several players to long term injuries.
On Sunday morning the news came through that yet another WA-based player was in trouble with the law- this time though it was not the notorious Eagles at fault, which must have come as an enormously pleasant surprise to their overworked PR people. Instead it was Freo's Jeff Farmer, off serving a suspension for eye gouging, who apparently tried to bash his way into a nightclub through the bouncing staff. Fortunately for him he didn't end up in a David Hookes like situation but was merely arrested for his pains, after which his furious club deemed him persona non grata for a considerable period of time. After all that the Dockers got up by a solitary point on virtually the last kick of the day in front of the ecstatic Purple Haze, gaining their second win for 07 and giving Australia's second most famous McManus a great memory for his 200th game in the process.
In the other games the Dogs- mercifully wearing their correct jumper this week- accounted for the Hawks, while the Carrararoos surprised everybody by beating Geelong down at their once feared home ground, these days going under the name of some kind of corporate logo. To my mind the Cats made a huge error by agreeing to sell off the name of Kardinia Park, particularly as it features in the club song ie. "..from dawn to dark, down at Kardinia Park." Changing the line to fit in with changing sponsors can't be easy and no doubt have preoccupied the players during matches there- "...we'll send the other team to hell, down at the ground called Shell" or "..the other team they will be killed, down at the ground called Skilled"? Maybe they'd be better off just going with "The Cattery" and offering Essendon a huge amount of money for the services of young Henry Slattery? Just a thought.
Until next week then, when hopefully yours truly will be celebrating a Dons victory while no longer living out of a suitcase.
Round 4: Hungover and In Transit
Apologies for those gagging for a write-up of Round 4- judging by the stunning amount of comments the wrap is attracting, that would be precisely none of you. My ability to focus on footy has been retarded somewhat by my transportation between continents- I am now Oz-located once again but living in a city where AFL coverage is sketchy at best. I was probably better off overseas really. But I'll do my best to recreate some of the moments that have made up the last fortnight of AFL action.
Waking up around noon on Friday following a stunningly overindulgent farewell boat cruise, I was not at all surprised to see that the Dogs had continued the Tigers losing start to 07, in a game most notable for the huge traffic between the two sides. Richmond now has the Dogs ex-coach and a large percentage of its former playing personnel, while former Tiger favorite Wayne Campbell is now a fixture in the Dogs coaching box. The two sides also share the unwelcome mantle of the two most perennially unsuccessful sides- the Dogs now officially the side boasting the longest premiership drought, the Tiges embarking on their third straight decade of chronic mediocrity. Perhaps this will be the year that one of them manages to break through and get beyond the also-rans mantle that they've held for so long. Probably not though.
Farewell celebrations continued on Friday, resulting in no consultation of AFL results at all until your correspondent landed in Singapore some hours if not days later. Blearily logging on to check results at one of Changi Airport's marvellous free terminals, I was convinced at first that the colour monitor on my computer was broken. How else to explain Essendon's garish appearance in its match against St Kilda? It turned out, however, that for reasons known only to the AFL the Dons' traditional jumper presented a clash with St Kilda's, and much more red was required to rectify the problem. Personally I think it made things far worse. But at least the supposed clash of jumpers was conceivable- it turned out that in the previous night's match the Bulldogs had resorted to a change of jumpers. Now really...anyone who can't tell the difference between a blue jumper with a red hoop and white bulldog as opposed to a black jumper with a yellow sash is probably beyond assistance, and should sign up to become an umpire as quickly as possible. Biting satire! Essendon won the game incidentally.
As did the much underrated Port Adelaide in the wet at the MCG on the same afternoon, Collingwood the defeated side there. It was good news for the Carrararoos in their Gold Coast debut, they ruined everyone's footy tipping by recording their first win of '07 over Brisbane. Perhaps the Lions were somewhat spooked by having to return to the home of the Bad News Bears, the heavy-breathing ghost of Christopher Skase was no doubt up in the stands there somewhere. The Crows managed to prevail over the Swans in Adelaide in an ugly but hard fought low scoring affair.
The Gold Coast wasn't the only notorious interstate venue to get a look in in Round 4- Tasmania's Aurora Stadium, infamous for its pissweak inaudible siren, hosted a clash between the Hawks and the Cats which went right down to the wire. Hawthorn prevailed there by less than a kick. In the battle between the cellar dwellers at the MCG Freo posted their first victory of the season over Melbourne, keeping their season alive but adding an extra furrow to the brow of Dees' coach Neale Daniher. Over in the West the (ill) Eagles ended Carlton's joy from the previous week by soundly stuffing them. Good.
So that's how it might have been in Round 4. I don't really know, I was on a plane for most of it. Round 5 to follow shortly.
Waking up around noon on Friday following a stunningly overindulgent farewell boat cruise, I was not at all surprised to see that the Dogs had continued the Tigers losing start to 07, in a game most notable for the huge traffic between the two sides. Richmond now has the Dogs ex-coach and a large percentage of its former playing personnel, while former Tiger favorite Wayne Campbell is now a fixture in the Dogs coaching box. The two sides also share the unwelcome mantle of the two most perennially unsuccessful sides- the Dogs now officially the side boasting the longest premiership drought, the Tiges embarking on their third straight decade of chronic mediocrity. Perhaps this will be the year that one of them manages to break through and get beyond the also-rans mantle that they've held for so long. Probably not though.
Farewell celebrations continued on Friday, resulting in no consultation of AFL results at all until your correspondent landed in Singapore some hours if not days later. Blearily logging on to check results at one of Changi Airport's marvellous free terminals, I was convinced at first that the colour monitor on my computer was broken. How else to explain Essendon's garish appearance in its match against St Kilda? It turned out, however, that for reasons known only to the AFL the Dons' traditional jumper presented a clash with St Kilda's, and much more red was required to rectify the problem. Personally I think it made things far worse. But at least the supposed clash of jumpers was conceivable- it turned out that in the previous night's match the Bulldogs had resorted to a change of jumpers. Now really...anyone who can't tell the difference between a blue jumper with a red hoop and white bulldog as opposed to a black jumper with a yellow sash is probably beyond assistance, and should sign up to become an umpire as quickly as possible. Biting satire! Essendon won the game incidentally.
As did the much underrated Port Adelaide in the wet at the MCG on the same afternoon, Collingwood the defeated side there. It was good news for the Carrararoos in their Gold Coast debut, they ruined everyone's footy tipping by recording their first win of '07 over Brisbane. Perhaps the Lions were somewhat spooked by having to return to the home of the Bad News Bears, the heavy-breathing ghost of Christopher Skase was no doubt up in the stands there somewhere. The Crows managed to prevail over the Swans in Adelaide in an ugly but hard fought low scoring affair.
The Gold Coast wasn't the only notorious interstate venue to get a look in in Round 4- Tasmania's Aurora Stadium, infamous for its pissweak inaudible siren, hosted a clash between the Hawks and the Cats which went right down to the wire. Hawthorn prevailed there by less than a kick. In the battle between the cellar dwellers at the MCG Freo posted their first victory of the season over Melbourne, keeping their season alive but adding an extra furrow to the brow of Dees' coach Neale Daniher. Over in the West the (ill) Eagles ended Carlton's joy from the previous week by soundly stuffing them. Good.
So that's how it might have been in Round 4. I don't really know, I was on a plane for most of it. Round 5 to follow shortly.
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