Round 5: Jetlagged and Homeless

Jet lag is a cruel beast, my friends. One moment you're wandering the streets of Melbourne feeling perky as a marionette, the next you're flat-out on your sister's couch snoring and drooling in front of a DVD of "That '70s Show". Jet lag knocked me round for days following my return to Oz, culminating in me managing to crash out at 4PM on April 24 and wake up at 1AM on April 25. Ordinarily there's not a lot one can do at that time of the morning, but fortunately this was Anzac Day and I was able for the first time to attend the Dawn Service at the Shrine of Remembrance. An amazingly moving event, very glad I went.
Footy-wise of course, Anzac Day means Essendon vs Collingwood and wasn't I excited to have a ticket to the big game. Having previously turned up to three Anzac Day matches for three losses ('96, '98 and '06), I was in no doubt whatsoever that Essendon's encouraging form in 2007 would make this a victory to savour. After all, the Bombers had already had their requisite shock defeat against inferior opposition in Round 3, it couldn't possibly happen again I thought. How wrong can a man be?
Essendon lost of course. 4 from 4. Next year I'll go bushwalking or something and no doubt we'll win by a hundred points. God it was a frustrating day. Even in my chronically jetlagged state I could identify the signs which clearly identified that a Bomber balls-up was about to occur. First, we started like a house on fire but failed to capitalise, missing some absolute gimme shots at goal (Matthew Lloyd). Second, we were unable to prevent the opposition from making inroads back into the game and building confidence in the leadup to halftime. Third, when the opposition inevitably surged in the third quarter panic resulted and there was someone ready and willing to make an inexplicably stupid error to give away a goal (Kepler Bradley, take a bow). Fourth, when this all came to pass heads dropped and there was a red and black stream to the exits as the opposition celebrated an unlikely victory. Luckily I'd passed out by that point. To be fair Collingwood did play reasonably well.
This all took place on a Wednesday- not the most conventional footy day ever. By the time Friday rolled around I'd nearly gotten over both the defeat and the jetlag. However my ongoing search for accommodation took precedence over the watching of football and I was thus in no position to witness Port give St Kilda another belting in the wet. Whilst driving frantically across town trying to inspect properties the next day I did manage to listen to the early stages of the Richmond-West Coast clash- the young Tiges gave the premiers (and every punter in Australia) a mighty scare before a combination of experience and one-sided umpiring got the Eagles across the line. The evening matches saw two interesting if contrasting affairs: a shoot-out at the dome between Carlton and Brisbane which saw the Lions finish with slightly more ammo for; then a phyrric victory for the Swans over the hapless and now playing for draft picks Demons- the Swans got the points but lost several players to long term injuries.
On Sunday morning the news came through that yet another WA-based player was in trouble with the law- this time though it was not the notorious Eagles at fault, which must have come as an enormously pleasant surprise to their overworked PR people. Instead it was Freo's Jeff Farmer, off serving a suspension for eye gouging, who apparently tried to bash his way into a nightclub through the bouncing staff. Fortunately for him he didn't end up in a David Hookes like situation but was merely arrested for his pains, after which his furious club deemed him persona non grata for a considerable period of time. After all that the Dockers got up by a solitary point on virtually the last kick of the day in front of the ecstatic Purple Haze, gaining their second win for 07 and giving Australia's second most famous McManus a great memory for his 200th game in the process.
In the other games the Dogs- mercifully wearing their correct jumper this week- accounted for the Hawks, while the Carrararoos surprised everybody by beating Geelong down at their once feared home ground, these days going under the name of some kind of corporate logo. To my mind the Cats made a huge error by agreeing to sell off the name of Kardinia Park, particularly as it features in the club song ie. "..from dawn to dark, down at Kardinia Park." Changing the line to fit in with changing sponsors can't be easy and no doubt have preoccupied the players during matches there- "...we'll send the other team to hell, down at the ground called Shell" or "..the other team they will be killed, down at the ground called Skilled"? Maybe they'd be better off just going with "The Cattery" and offering Essendon a huge amount of money for the services of young Henry Slattery? Just a thought.
Until next week then, when hopefully yours truly will be celebrating a Dons victory while no longer living out of a suitcase.