Round 4: Hungover and In Transit

Apologies for those gagging for a write-up of Round 4- judging by the stunning amount of comments the wrap is attracting, that would be precisely none of you. My ability to focus on footy has been retarded somewhat by my transportation between continents- I am now Oz-located once again but living in a city where AFL coverage is sketchy at best. I was probably better off overseas really. But I'll do my best to recreate some of the moments that have made up the last fortnight of AFL action.
Waking up around noon on Friday following a stunningly overindulgent farewell boat cruise, I was not at all surprised to see that the Dogs had continued the Tigers losing start to 07, in a game most notable for the huge traffic between the two sides. Richmond now has the Dogs ex-coach and a large percentage of its former playing personnel, while former Tiger favorite Wayne Campbell is now a fixture in the Dogs coaching box. The two sides also share the unwelcome mantle of the two most perennially unsuccessful sides- the Dogs now officially the side boasting the longest premiership drought, the Tiges embarking on their third straight decade of chronic mediocrity. Perhaps this will be the year that one of them manages to break through and get beyond the also-rans mantle that they've held for so long. Probably not though.
Farewell celebrations continued on Friday, resulting in no consultation of AFL results at all until your correspondent landed in Singapore some hours if not days later. Blearily logging on to check results at one of Changi Airport's marvellous free terminals, I was convinced at first that the colour monitor on my computer was broken. How else to explain Essendon's garish appearance in its match against St Kilda? It turned out, however, that for reasons known only to the AFL the Dons' traditional jumper presented a clash with St Kilda's, and much more red was required to rectify the problem. Personally I think it made things far worse. But at least the supposed clash of jumpers was conceivable- it turned out that in the previous night's match the Bulldogs had resorted to a change of jumpers. Now really...anyone who can't tell the difference between a blue jumper with a red hoop and white bulldog as opposed to a black jumper with a yellow sash is probably beyond assistance, and should sign up to become an umpire as quickly as possible. Biting satire! Essendon won the game incidentally.
As did the much underrated Port Adelaide in the wet at the MCG on the same afternoon, Collingwood the defeated side there. It was good news for the Carrararoos in their Gold Coast debut, they ruined everyone's footy tipping by recording their first win of '07 over Brisbane. Perhaps the Lions were somewhat spooked by having to return to the home of the Bad News Bears, the heavy-breathing ghost of Christopher Skase was no doubt up in the stands there somewhere. The Crows managed to prevail over the Swans in Adelaide in an ugly but hard fought low scoring affair.
The Gold Coast wasn't the only notorious interstate venue to get a look in in Round 4- Tasmania's Aurora Stadium, infamous for its pissweak inaudible siren, hosted a clash between the Hawks and the Cats which went right down to the wire. Hawthorn prevailed there by less than a kick. In the battle between the cellar dwellers at the MCG Freo posted their first victory of the season over Melbourne, keeping their season alive but adding an extra furrow to the brow of Dees' coach Neale Daniher. Over in the West the (ill) Eagles ended Carlton's joy from the previous week by soundly stuffing them. Good.
So that's how it might have been in Round 4. I don't really know, I was on a plane for most of it. Round 5 to follow shortly.