Round Two: A Long Week of Unnecessary White Jumpers

A week is a long time in footy, goes the adage. But how long is a week? In Round Two, Geelong and Richmond had very long weeks indeed- ten whole days. Essendon and North Melbourne, on the other hand, found themselves fronting up for their second outing of the season after a mere six days off. But was the longer break of any advantage? Well, we'll get to that. Round Two can be summarised in one word- shellackings. With a few honourable exceptions it was one drubbing after another, leaving some teams and their supporters gleefully ascendent and others glumly contemplating the long cold winter ahead- although with the silver lining of a possible number 1 draft pick to ease the pain.
Before we get into all things football I'd like to offer an apology to all those who felt that I defamed young Magpie Sharrod Wellingham last week on the grounds that he had a ridiculous made-up first name. Particular apologies to my dear friends Shodney, Grillip and Brimothy. Also to all those who advised me that "Jarryd" is an incorrect spelling of that particular moniker- thanks for putting me right on that one, Jarrod. Also cheers to you, Jared, and you too Jharreid.
The opening game of Round 2 was the exception to the shellackings rule, with the travelling Magpies somehow falling short by just 2 points against the Brisbane Lions after looking home and hosed at three quarter time. There was much muttering amongst the black and white army about the umpiring performance in the final quarter, with the Magpie faithful's general consensus being that the men in tangerine had taken steps in the final stanza to equal a hitherto lopsided freekick count. Both of the Saturday afternoon games, however, were anything but close encounters. At the MCG the Bulldogs continued the Demons' horrific start to 2008 with a 95 point annihilation- Dee-ja vu for the Redlegs supporters, another Dee-bacle of a performance which will have severely Dee-moralised all involved. A particularly tough debut to the coaching ranks for Dee-n Bailey, who must be wondering what he's let himself in for. At AAMI stadium the Crows ended their recent run of outs against the West Coast Eagles, doing it easily to the tune of 76 points. The Eagles' Western Australian compatriots Freo also went down in Round 2, with the valiant Hawks getting home in a close one. This game was most notable for Hawthorn's mystifying decision to wear their all white away strip- given that they are quite possibly the only team in the competition whose normal jumper doesn't clash with the Dockers' technicolour yawn of a guernsey, the logic to this one was not immediately apparent.
Another side taking to the field in an all-white jumper for no good reason was the confusingly monikered Navy Blues, whose run of losses extended to thirteen as they went down to St Kilda at the Dome. The Blues are evidently finding it difficult to shake last year's game plan, as they shot away to an early lead before easing off and allowing the Saints to run away with the points. The Saints, mercifully, were slightly more entertaining than their diabolical performance the previous week. So too were their Round One opponents Sydney, who were evidently stung by the universal criticism that greeted their borefest the previous week and were completely unrecognisable against the Power. Gone was the error-filled chipping and flooding, replaced with an attacking purposeful style of play which wiped Port off the SCG. The hypothetical eight year old from last week would have been inspired, ripping his Waratahs posters from his bedroom wall and demanding a red and white mini-football to kick around the lounge room to annoy his sister with in the middle of Great Celebrity Dance-off or whatever it's called. A terrible start to Port Adelaide's 2008 quest for redemption though, two straight defeats to open with and a very ordinary percentage to boot.
And so to the match of the round, the reigning premiers Geelong against last week's excitement machines Essendon. And once more speed and skill was very much in evidence. Unfortunately for the Dons faithful those demonstrating speed and skill in Round Two were exclusively wearing blue and white hoops. It was all Geelong as they demonstrated quite firmly that a good win in Round One does not a premier make. The only real bright spot for the Bombers was that they at least kept the final margin within 100 points, only just though, they lost by 99. There was at least one muttered "Knights...whadda bum!" from the notoriously fickle Bombers supporters but most were philosophical. Geelong are a pretty damn good team, particularly when they're coming off a ten day to six break!
The ten day break was of no assistance though to the Tigers, who fell short against the resurgent North Melbourne. Tigers' coach Terry Wallace put the Kangeroos' vastly improved performance down to the short break, arguing that the Roos had copped so much criticism after capitulating to the Bombers that their win was a fait accompli. Surely, by that logic, they would have done even better if they'd copped criticism for the extra four days? In any case, a 41 point win by the Northerners resulted and their 2008 campaign is now under way after a misfire in Round One.
So with two rounds now played it's the Cats, Saints, Bulldogs and Hawks leading the way, ahead of a logjam of clubs and the winless Blues, Power, Dockers and below all the Demons still to open their accounts. But there's still 20 rounds to play and as we've seen a week can be a very long time in football. See you back here for Round Three.