Round Four: The Punch Heard Round the World

Picture the scene my friends- a cold weekend night in Sydney, all is as it should be until WHAM! An inexplicably foolish act leads to sirens, general consternation, and condemnation from all quarters. In the middle of it all is one sorry individual standing aghast wondering what just happened, and contemplating the consequences of one second of madness. Yes, that was the scene at the Waldorf Hotel in South Sydney on Friday night when yours truly managed to set off a smoke alarm which caused a hotel evacuation, after an ill-advised attempt to light a coal on a hotplate in order to fire up a balcony shisha. My compliments again to the NSW Fire Service for their rapid response, and my profound thanks to the hotel management for not passing on the call out fee.

Luckily for me my stuff-up was completely overshadowed the following night out at Homebush where big Swan Barry Hall, a trained boxer and frequent visitor to the tribunal, shocked the footy world by delivering a behind the play king hit to young Eagles defender Brent Staker. The whole incident was captured by the TV cameras. Although by now surely everyone has seen the footage perhaps you're reading this from a remote location such as Maputo or Accra and haven't seen it yet, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBKmzqrofrU Needless to say, there was a big outcry after such a cheap shot. It's true that Australian Rules football is a very physical game, and this physicality is a huge part of its appeal. But the AFL has taken pains in recent years to emphasise the difference between hard physical play and outright thuggery, and Hall's punch definitely fitted into the latter category. Staker's parents were furious, branding Hall a "weak mongrel" and calling for him to be banned for the season. Hall's father perhaps unwisely returned fire by blaming Staker for the incident. Barry Hall subsequently managed to rub himself out for a couple of months later in the game by breaking his wrist on a shonkily assembled advertising hoarding. At the tribunal Hall received a seven week suspension, including a 25% reduction for pleading guilty- thanks for that! At least this time, unlike his outrageous 2005 Preliminary Final appearance when he got off a striking charge scot-free, nobody was arguing that Hall was engaged in the play at the time of the incident.

So that was the big story from Round 4, but there were plenty of other points of interest. Once we were all allowed back into the hotel on Friday night I was able to enjoy, with shisha in hand (and doors and windows firmly closed) the Bulldogs-Essendon encounter. The Dogs started well out of the blocks, but the injury-depleted Dons staged a great fightback and held a slender lead at three quarter time. Unfortunately it was all one way traffic in the final term as the Dogs ran away with it, but the Bombers were certainly not disgraced and continue to provide great entertainment through their midfield pace. The first Saturday afternoon game was a very disappointing affair for Demons' supporters who, after the previous week's encouraging performance at Geelong, would have expected better things from their team against North Melbourne. North were untroubled in taking the points against the Dees. In the second, Geelong showed just how difficult they are going to be to defeat this season by giving St Kilda a start, then bombarding them into submission with goal after goal. There were two night matches, in the first Sydney overcame the shock of seeing Barry Hall lose his head (and Staker nearly lose his) to easily defeat the Eagles, who at this stage of the season are really missing departed guns Cousins and Judd. Over in Adelaide it was an extraordinary encounter between Port and Brisbane in the 2004 Grand Final replay. The Power were absolutely cruising to victory approaching three quarter time, holding a 47 point lead and with rain falling. Then the Lions ran amok, kicking the last two goals of the quarter and adding a further 9 goals to 2 in the last to record a most unlikely 20 point victory. Perhaps the Power were shellshocked by the sight of Brisbane's truly awful away jumper, second only to Hawthorn's in terms of garishness, although the Power themselves are no strangers to appalling guernsey choices. In any case they are in a bit of trouble at 0-4, a win here would have been very handy indeed.
The Sunday matches were a very mixed bag. Down in Tasmania the Hawks demonstrated that they are the team most likely to challenge the Cats in 2008 by easily dispensing with the Crows. Over in the west a ton of gamblers lost the shirts of their backs as Richmond recorded the unfathomablenest of 64 point victories over the hapless Dockers, the Tigers' first win at Subiaco since their last final year in 2001. Cult hero Matthew Richardson was the hero for the Tiges, kicking 4 goals from the wing. Freo's 2008 is already looking very shaky. But the big story of the afternoon was Carlton finally remembering how to win just in time to avoid their longest every losing streak, and to the joy of their fans doing it against their hated rivals Collingwood. The Urinator Fevola kicked 7 in a 23 point victory in front of a big MCG crowd of 77,873, many of whom sung the club song long and loud following the final siren. The Magpies will be filthy to have let this one slip, it would have been pencilled in as a likely victory for sure. And one can only imagine the reaction behind closed doors of the Pies supremo Eddie McGuire, he won't have enjoyed that performance one little bit.
So a bumper round of footy has demonstrated that droughts can be broken, huge margins can be overcome, king-hits are now taboo, and smoke alarms should be treated with due care and respect. The ladder is starting to take a discernable form, there's still three teams yet to taste the bitter pill of defeat, but for the two yet to open their 2008 account this weekend coming will be absolutely crucial. As always you'll get the best if occasionally belated wrap up right here, see you next week.