Round Three: Jimmy Crack Corn

Something of a rarity in the lead up to Round Three- the eyes of the footy world were glued firmly on the ABC. The national broadcaster hasn't been the focus of the VFL/AFL since, I believe, the 1987 season when for reasons long since lost in the mists of time Channel Seven lost the broadcast rights for one year and Aunty did her best to substitute. It wasn't a tremendous success at the time. For example, the ABC couldn't get it together to ensure that there were cameras at all grounds, so plenty of great marks and goals were lost to posterity. At the end of the season the rights went straight back to Channel Seven to the general relief of all.
But this week it was Enough Rope with Andrew Denton, featuring the one time king of football Wayne Carey, that commanded attention. Most TV shows featuring footballers are exercises in buffoonery and gags in bad taste- cough The Footy Show cough. This, however, was something very different indeed. Carey's off-field life has been a train wreck for many years, but in latter times the train has veered right off the rails and gone thundering through crowded shopping malls scattering screaming crowds in its path. The only bright side in the whole depressing saga is that unlike the similar travails of Carey's compatriot Gary Ablett Sr- possibly the only other person who could lay a claim to being as good on the field as Carey in the recent era- nobody has yet died as a result of partying with Carey. Denton's interview with Carey was difficult viewing. It's clear that Carey had a shocking childhood and is now really struggling in post-footy life. Even in his playing days Carey was a figure who inspired extreme reactions, it's doubtful that his performance on Enough Rope has converted too many into seeing him as a good bloke. However there might be a bit more sympathy for him as a flawed human being with a lot of demons to battle. Without wanting to make light of Carey's situation, it's clear that he has an issue with partying in general- in particular knowing when to leave. I'd like to take this opportunity to help him out by referring him to the indispensable 1950s educational video "What Makes A Good Party"- this clearly indicates that it's all over once the guest sits at the piano and leads everyone in a rousing singalong of "Jimmy Crack Corn". Right after the hat making contest. Enjoy it here- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvivEqxjsI.
To the footy- Round 3 was Rivalry Round, the AFL's annual attempt to cash in on the genuine rivalries and to attempt to convince the supporters of various other teams that they have a deep seated reason for disliking another beyond standing in the way of the acquisition of the four points. Take, for example, St Kilda and the Western Bulldogs. What's their rivalry about, which team's single premiership was more iconic? Which club is the "second team" of more Victorian supporters? It smacks a bit of the Onion's parody headline about a war between Uruguay and Paraguay over which country was "guay-er". Despite the fairly dubious nature of their "rivalry", the two sides did turn on a cracker to open Round 3. The Saints shot away to a six goal quarter time lead and all looked dire for the Doggies. But the game turned 180 degrees in the next three quarters as the Bullies exploded into action and blasted 18 goals to the Saints' 6 to run away with a most unlikely 38 point win. St Kilda's capitulation sparked gloomy predictions that their season was all but over- possibly a bit premature in Round 3. We'll see how they bounce back next week.
The Saturday arvo saw the Wrap engaged on a cycling tour around various capital venues interspersed with various sporting pursuits and beer drinking as part of the pre-wedding celebrations of a good buddy of the Hawks pursuasion. While I excelled at the cycling and beer drinking, my lawn bowls were ordinary, my petanque left a lot to be decided, I was less than successful on the foosball table and the less said about ultimate frisbee the better. Still, much fun was had by all and the icing on the cake for the groom-to-be came with the announcement that after trailing all day the Hawks had come home with a wet sail to overhaul North Melbourne. Apparently Hawthorn led for only nine minutes of the entire match, but they were ahead when the bell rang and that's all that matters. They're looking pretty good at this early stage of the season, are Hawthorn.
Over in the west it was the latest installment of the Western Rollerderby, a game that represents a genuine rivalry in anyone's book. Freo scored a much needed win over the Eagles in a typically tough encounter. Up in Brisbane it was a match between the northern outpost clubs Brisbane and Sydney, both of whom will face state rivals in coming seasons- more on that in future weeks. The Swans have had the wood over the Lions in recent years and were able to extend their run of wins in this fixture.
The most eagerly anticipated Saturday fixture was on at the MCG, where Essendon and Carlton, the two clubs most successful in premiership terms but now both definitely in rebuilding mode wrote another chapter in their own recent rivalry. A lot went right for Carlton on the night. The Urinator kicked eight goals. The Juddernaught had his best game in a blue (or white) jumper. Their latest number 1 draft pick Matthew Kreuzer played one of the best debut games in recent memory. And they kicked a pretty respectable 21 goals for the night. Despite all that, it was the jaunty notes of "See the Bombers Fly Up" that rang through the night air at the conclusion of a modern day classic, the Dons saluting by 16 points. At 150 points to 134, this was one of the highest scoring matches since the 1972 Grand Final between the Blues and Richmond, when both teams abandoned defence for all out attack. There were no less than 25 individual goalkickers and no shortage of highlights for the end of season video. Bombers speedster Andrew Lovett provided two blinding goals in his first match back from internally-imposed suspension, you won't see too many better in 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjMyb6mR0zU. Carlton have now equaled their longest losing streak of 13 games which dates back to the horse and cart era, perhaps all of that tanking last year has contributed to a club mindset that no longer knows how to win?
Luckily for the Blues, the Demons are also in a fairly decrepit state just at the moment. They faced the daunting prospect on the Sunday of taking on the rampant Cats at Kardinia Park on the same afternoon that Geelong unfurled its 2007 AFL and VFL premiership flags. Given that the Dees had lost its opening two matches by a combined total of 199 points and the Cats had produced a near perfect performance the previous week against Essendon, it was no surprise that the odds being offered on a Melbourne win were the longest in history. One punter allegedly put $100,000 on Geelong to win back just $4000. He would have been gulping nervously halfway through the opening quarter as the Demons stormed out of the blocks to kick the opening three goals. Perhaps the Cats were still to warm up after standing in the cold for half an hour waiting for skydivers to descend with the premiership flags. Once they did get going they were able to dispense of the Melbourne challenge without any real problems, but for Dees fans it was a Dee-cidedly improved performance on the unDee-niably lamentable efforts in the previous two weeks. Although the game never hit any real heights the Cats fans were justifiably excited by the performance of young gun Tom Hawkins- the Tomahawk is only 19 and still developing but he is going to be an absolute superstar in future years. Seeing the crowd's excitement when he marked was reminiscent of watching Matthew Lloyd in his early days- the future there plain to see.
Over at the MCG it was the Tiges versus the Pies, two very big clubs but again without any real rivalry to speak of outside the 1980 Grand Final (and you won't find too many Collingwood fans who wish to speak of that dark day). No such problems for the Carringbush in this match though, they were never troubled and took the four points without breaking a sweat. Round Three was concluded over the border with a brutal Showdown encounter, the Crows triumphed by a kick over the Power as players went down like ninepins. Port join the hapless Blues and Demons at the bottom of the table, winless after three rounds. The Crows are gathering momentum for another possible finals tilt.
So after three rounds the ladder is divided nicely into semi-equal castes: three unbeaten teams, five with two wins, five with one win and three yet to trouble the scorers. Can the Untouchables at the bottom trouble the Brahmins at the top? Can Carlton recall how to win or is an unwelcome record on its way to Princes Park? Will that Geelong punter be game enough to place another bet this season? Find out the answers to these and more right here at the Wrap, see you next week.